2017

Merryhill Intermediate School

Las Vegas, Nevada

 -2-

“I’m sorry it’s come to this but the code of conduct your family signed at the beginning of the school year explicitly states Merryhill’s zero tolerance drug policy,” Principal Greene explains. 

Haley nods tightly, even though he was sure the principal knew good and well he hadn’t read the code of conduct before signing it. She opens a folder and pushes a packet of paper across the table to him.

“You’ll just need to sign these  forms and then Grayson can clean out his locker. The bookkeeper will send you a bill for any outstanding fees not covered by the scholarship.”

Haley looks just over Principal Greene’s shoulder at the elaborate grandfather clock in the back of her office. He was supposed to be meeting with their fertility specialist right now.

 “I'm sorry I need to send a quick text,” Haley apologizes. He pulls out his phone and texts his  nursing school friend who worked at their IVF clinic.

Something came up and I had to go to Nova’s school this morning. Neither Luce or I can make the follow up with Dr. Mitchell. Everything is fine but, can you see if you can find another spot in the schedule ?🙏

“Cases like this typically go to drug court but with that much marijuana it may go before a juvenile criminal court,” the city police officer in the back of the office informs Haley the minute he puts his phone down. “Possession with intent to sell is a serious felony.”

Nova starts to talk from his seat in the back of the principal’s office and  the school resource officer, Mr. Kline, shushes him sharply.

“He doesn’t sell drugs,” Haley says firmly, following the advice he’d gotten from his quick phone conversation with the Washington’s lawyer on his way over here; admit to nothing. “My husband has a traumatic brain injury and he got hit by a car earlier this year so he's been having seizures and cannabis helps. We have a prescription.”

The prescription part is a lie  but he'd recognized Luce's  lighter in the clear sandwich bag full  of weed they'd found in Nova's locker.  Haley finishes the paperwork and  smiles politely at the principal.

“Please escort Mr. Haley-Grace to clean out his locker,” Principal Greene instructs the school resource officer. Once Nova is out of the room she fixes Haley with a sympathetic look. “Grayson had so much potential. I am so sorry your relationship with Merryhill has to end this way.”

“Me too.” It's all he can say.

Haley exits the office and paces in a circle for almost 30 minutes before Nova ambles down the hall with a cardboard box cradled in his arms and a blank expression. He gestures for Nova to hurry up so they could leave but Nova’s only walks slower.

A soft tone plays over the speaker system and students begin to trickle into the halls. Haley always loved how the hallways at Merryhill weren’t crowded and frantic like how he remembered his overcrowded middle school. The kids took their time, chatting and greeting each other.

Nova suddenly turns on his heels and speeds towards a bank of lockers to his left.

“Nova!” Haley hisses through clenched teeth.

He watches Nova approach Brixton Matthews from behind and slam Brixton's  locker door shut. The other boy spins to face Nova.  He yelps. 

“You’re not a good fucking friend,” Nova spits at the boy. “Why the fuck did you tell on me ?”

“I-I-I just didn’t want you to get in trouble—” Brixton stutters, red-faced and confused.

“I just got expelled. You got me expelled! I’m fucking going to get you fucking back for this—"

Nova shoves Brixton into his locker and Haley flies down the hall to pull him away, dragging him back by his shirt collar.

“FUCK ALL OF YOU!,” Nova shouts down the hall, middle fingers raised as Haley pulls him through the door. Some students laugh and to Haley’s horror a lot of them have their phones out.

“This is bullshit, Dad—,” Nova seethes, wrenching open the passenger door of the Volkswagen.

“Shut up, Nova. What you just did back there was totally unacceptable.”

“But—”

“No talking. I don’t want to hear a single word from you.”

The only sound on their drive to the condo is Nova riffling through the contents he'd pulled from his locker. When they arrive at the condo Haley sits in the parking space with the child safety locks  on.

“You and I are going for a walk,” he decides quietly.

“I don’t feel like walking—”

“Too bad.”

They walk the six blocks to Stir Roastery. It was 10 AM on a Tuesday and the cluttered bohemian coffee shop was quiet with only a few customers on laptops.

“Go sit down,” Haley says, and inquires with the barista about the most calming tea they have.

“Ew, this isn’t even what I order.” Nova frowns when Haley comes to the small booth in the back with two cold herbal teas.

Haley opens his own straw and  takes a long sip.

Nova smirks and crosses his arm. “Are you going to embarrass me by screaming at me in public—"

“I’m not going to scream. Dr. Nguyen is always telling me you’re old enough for us to have conversations about your behavior so—”

“Hey! You can't talk about me in therapy if I'm not there—”

“Nova, this is serious. Do you get that ?”

Nova yanks his hair out of it’s  ponytail and pulls the roots. “I didn’t do it. This isn’t my fault.”

“Nothing ever seems to be—”

“This time I mean it.”

“So, the marijuana grew little legs and walked into your locker ?”

“It’s all Brix’s fault.” Nova huffs. “He’s just mad his dumb sports friends like me better than him—”

Haley frowns. “The same football boys who were bullying you last year—”

“Oh my god, Dad. That was 7^th grade and that was not bullying,” he says dismissively. “Half the players are fucking stoners. They literally talk about getting high all the time around us. I just bought that stuff to show them. Nobody was going to smoke it.  If Brixton was so offended he should have come to me instead of telling like a kindergartner—”

“You had rolling papers and a  lighter—”

“I didn’t know that stuff was in the bag, I swear, I just found it in your room--”

“Luce has a prescription,” Haley lies again.“And  if you did ‘accidentally’ sell it your ass would be in juvie right now. You should be thanking Brixton.”

Nova shrugs and starts drinking his tea.

“Sweetheart, is all this acting out in school because Ms. Sara—”

“No—”

“Is it…because I got married ?"

“No, god, Dad! No one cares about that except you.” 

“Then talk to me, Nova. Tell me what you need from me.” Haley says. “I know things have been insane.  Am I not spending enough time with you—”

“Seriously?  I’m the only person you spend time with. It's actually kind of pathetic—”

“I thought we had fun together.” Haley tries to to hide his dejection. Nova was old enough now to take to restaurants and events Luce would never go. They could talk about things that interested both of them. Haley had though they were finally moving into a new phase of their relationship.“I love hanging out with you—”

“It's weird. You act like you're my age. You wore my clothes—”

Haley dismisses him with a sigh. “That was one time—”

“You have zero friends your own age.” Nova continues. He knows he hit a nerve with Haley. “ You’re like obsessed with me--”

“Well, you know what ? You won’t have to worry about that anymore because you aren’t going anywhere anytime soon,” Haley bites, his voice raising. “ I’m selling our Disneyland tickets. We’ll need the money to pay for your god damn court fees.”

“Why ?,” Nova yells. He bangs his hands flat against the table. “This is such fucking bullshit—”

“Nova—”

“I never get anything!”

“You get plenty. I work really hard so you can have nice things and you screw it up—”

“No you don't,” Nova spits. “You work hard so you can have everything. You always act like we're so poor that I can’t have a phone or whatever but I looked at your credit card statement. You spent $400 on your hair and face when literally all you do is go to work and post dumb shit on Facebook. You're so annoying, this is why your  husband rolled into traffic to get the fuck away from you—”  

“Nova. Too far—”

“—I thought I was allowed to process how you made your husband want to kill himself however I wanted ?,” he challenges.

Haley grits his teeth and swallows to keep his composure. “Not if it hurts me.”

Nova crosses his arms and scoffs. “Oh my god, Dad.”

“I’m going to the bathroom and then we’ll talk about your punishment.”

“Are you about to cry ?,” he asks, amused.

Haley stands and walks to the cafe bathrooms which are annoyingly labeled unicorn ninja and dragon slayer. He enters the one designated dragon slayers and dabs his eyes with a tissue from his pocket.

He had pity for any teenager who tried to cross Nova.

It was like Nova had woken up one day and realized he could argue back with Haley. Nova didn't like being put into corner and knew exactly which of Haley's insecurities to push on until he got an emotional reaction. Haley blamed himself for even letting Nova know he could hurt him like that.

On the anniversary of his engagement Haley was waiting in a long line at his weekly pharmacy visit and absently decided to post a wedding photo on Facebook. It got nearly a hundred likes and positive comments from people he hadn't seen in years  and he’d gotten a little serotonin boost. So, the next day he'd searched his phone for another good picture and posted again.

When he was feeling especially lonely he’d indulged himself by occasionally posting happy pictures to see the positive reactions. As far as his Facebook followers were concerned his first year of married life was going perfectly and he naturally looked young and his hair was always perfect.

He couldn’t wait to see what people would post when they finally had successful round of IVF.

Hesitantly, he opens his phone to a text from the IVF nurse

Hope everything is okay. You can just download the Valley Healthcare app, Dr. Mitchell  put the test results in there.

 

 

***

-3-

Haley is woken up at 7 AM the next morning by loud pounding and Luce yelling.

Mourning the loss of 15 minutes of sleep, Haley tumbles out of bed and peeks out the bedroom door to see Luce banging his wheelchair against Nova’s door.

“Luce, come on. It’s to early for this shit.”

Luce turns on him, already in an enraged mood. “He has both the phones in his room!  I don’t want to miss Ma calling. This is exactly why I told you not to get rid of the phone with the cord but you never listen—”

“Sara's not calling today—”

The new keypad lock on the front door beeps and Luce's nurse, Imogen,steps in. Usually when she came in they were both in bed  and  she startles at seeing them  awake. She moves towards the bedroom with a smile. “Good morning. Luce, you’re up early!”

Luce frowns after her as she walks past. He turns to Haley. “I thought I told her we had the appointment this morning.”

“We don't have an appointment today. The IVF appointment was yesterday, you're missing a day,” Haley explains. “I gave you Percocet for your back. Remember ? It knocked you out for 18 hours. I couldn’t get you up."

Luce pauses in confusion before turning his attention back to Nova’s closed door.

“This fucking door is still locked. I don’t like locked doors in this house,” Luce bites and then yells at the closed door. “You’re going to be late for school again, Nova! He’s not even responding. I'm going to talk you through removing the hinges—"

“Nova’s not going to school today…he got expelled yesterday.”

“For what ?”

Before he can answer Imogen pops out of their bedroom. “I’m sorry, but I can’t get the medicine safe open.”

“Sorry, I changed the code,” Haley says, texting it to her before turning back to Luce and whispering. “Nova was selling marijuana at school.”

At that, Nova’s door swings open.

His eyes were watery and red tinged at the edges and he was wearing his clothes from yesterday so Haley doubted he’d even gone to sleep last night. Haley had confiscated anything internet connected from his room so he’d likely spent all night on the landline with Holland.

“I WAS NOT SELLING DRUGS—” Nova screams at Haley.

Luce rolls himself between them. “Cut it out, it's too early for that. Did you take that weed out of my closet ? Is that where you got it?”

Nova rolls his eyes upward. “I didn’t know it was yours—”

“You sure as hell knew it wasn’t yours. You don’t think, Nova. Not everything in this house is for you to touch.  How would you like it if I touched your stuff ?”

“I wouldn’t care because all my stuff is shit.”

“Okay,” Luce says quietly and rolls into the kitchen.

Haley exchanges a disappointed look with Nova and then glances to see Imogen had disappeared back into the bedroom. One of the things he appreciated about her was that nothing scared her off.

Luce emerges from the kitchen with a pair of kitchen shears and goes to the living room. He picks up the two Xbox controllers and, after a few adjustments to shake out his trembling hand get the angle right and cuts c through the cords.

Haley sighs. “Nova, go take a shower. You’re not staying in bed all day. Luce we need to talk outside. Now.”

On his way out the door Haley picks up one of the  bottled Frappuccino drinks he drank when he forgot to buy coffee. Or eat dinner.

He drains half of it by the time they’re both sitting on the bench outside of the condo building. He swings his legs up on the bench, resting his feet in Luce’s lap.

 He hadn’t bothered changing out of the floral night shirt he slept in and Luce was only in his boxers—his scars and faded arm tattoos open to the muggy morning air.  The streets were usually desolate this time of morning,  the only people who would give them a second glance were the lost hipsters moving into the redeveloped areas that were slowly encroaching on their little part of the city.

“Don’t tell me I went too far,” Luce says. “I hate that fucking video game, it's fucking loud and gives me migraines. You let him get away with too much—”

Now Haley rolls his eyes. “Those video game controllers are wireless, my love, you just cut the charger. You owe me for not laughing.”

Luce shakes his head, running his hand up and down Haley’s thigh. “Can you get the weed back ? I need it.”

“It’s at the police station. Maybe Alan can write a backdated prescription for it but it's still not legal. What the fuck, Luce ? How could you just have that much weed in the condo without telling me ? And you shouldn't even be smoking blunts--”

“I didn't smoke it. El bought it back for me from California. She was supposed to come over to make edibles but--”

“You have Eloise involved—”

“She’s a 19-year-old in Malibu with a $10,000 monthly allowance. She’s teaching me shit about weed. I need my lighter back I’ve had it since I was 18—”

“We have to go to court for this. They’re saying he was going to sell it—”

“Was he ?”

“He won’t admit it but you know those Merryhill kids have nothing but money to spend and apparently some of them are already stoners. I am not raising the kid who sells drugs to the football team.”

“Maybe it’s a sign none of those eggs fertilized. Between my shit and Ma and now this the last thing we needed this year was a baby.”

Haley frowns. “It is not a sign. I missed the appointment with Dr. Mitchell to deal with Nova but I  checked the test results on the app. Your sperm are totally dead in the water.”

Luce takes the information in silently. “They say why?”

“Could be all those steroids you used to take, or the  smoking or the accident…maybe just genetics.”

“I told you we should have gotten the test before we did it...Maybe it's better this way. Atleast we can have sex again.”

Haley shakes his head and moves to straddle Luce’s boxer clad lap with his knees. He dots the strong, stubbled line of his jaw with small kisses.  “You don't need me for sex when you're  screwing your nurse.”

“I’m not screwing her.”

Imogen had figured out the kinds of websites Fallwater built on her own and, after weeks of hints, asked to know more and eventually admitted to having a burgeoning interest in fetish life herself.

Haley had always assumed Luce would eventually fool around with one of his nurses and he didn’t mind Imogen since she was discreet about it and still did what she was paid to do. She liked being talked down to and had a thing for older men. She wasn't Luce's normal type but he had a weakness for pretty young woman. Luce was usually in a good mood around her and she'd even gotten him to eat solid foods.

“Well, you might have to start fucking her. If Twyla is still open to being our surrogate we can use my sperm and her egg. It’s cheaper anyway.”

“Your insurance isn’t going to cover washing your sperm. And we’d have to pay for Twyla to come out here. We already wasted 25 grand we don't have.”

“I want a baby,” Haley pouts, running his hands through Luce’s hair and gripping it at the root.  

“Nova has lost his god damn mind. You want to add a newborn to that,” Luce says gesturing to the condo.

“Well….I have my phone,” Haley teases. “And I have you. Let’s just runaway and let him have the condo.”

 

***

“Your son is just adorable! Does he have a little girlfriend ?,” the receptionist asks when Haley sits down to finally get to his charting work done. “I need a nice boy like him for my granddaughter.”

Haley beams. “Thank you. He’s a good kid but he is not ready to date.”

When Haley arranged for Nova to volunteer 12 hours a week at his workplace, he asked  the director to keep the fact that it was court mandated  private. Haley had never pulled strings but he wanted to be able to keep an eye on his son while he did his community service.

At juvenile drug court three weeks earlier Nova's charges were dropped to a misdemeanor, he received a biting reprimand from the judge and walked away with 5 years of probation, enrollment in a  12 week drug abuse educational course that met on Saturdays, a $700 fine and 150 hours of community service.

Before Haley can look at his every growing pile of charts  his pager goes off. He takes one sip of his late afternoon coffee before going to help a new CNA stick a frustrated child’s finger for an insulin test.

On his way back to the front desk he casually looks around for Nova.  Nova’s duties included passing out snacks, disinfecting toys, cleaning the staff break room and folding linens.

He was currently doing none of the above.

Haley finds him  at a table in the corner of the recreation room with Serenity, an 8-year-old girl with muscular dystrophy who was staying in respite care while her single mother recovered from knee surgery. Next to her was a nonverbal autistic preteen boy and their newest intern—a bubbly college junior.

“Oh, my god it works!” the intern squeals delightedly at her forearm.

“Cool! Do we have glitter ?,” Serenity, the 8-year-old girl, asks.

Haley approaches them quickly. “What’s going on here ?”

“Look what Nova did,” the intern beams, showing off her arm. It had a colorful Wonder Woman logo on it now.

“It’s a  tattoo—” Serenity grins. Nova was now holding Serenity's arm  and rubbing it with powder.

“Nova, What is this ? Did you ask permiss—"

“It’s temporary tattoos,” Nova says. “I make them with tracing paper and water and then color it in with markers.They asked me to do it.”

 Haley sighs. “Nova, you can’t just--how does this come off ?”

“With rubbing alcohol. Holland and I do it all the time.”

The little girl looks delighted when he takes the damp tracing paper off her arm to reveal the outline of a My Little Pony.

While the intern colored in Serenity’s pony tattoo with non-toxic markers the autistic boy points to a superhero logo on his much loved comic book.

“Is this the tattoo you want ?,” Nova asks him and he nods. “Cool.  I like Green Lantern too. I hate the movie but my favorite artist  is from that run with--”

“Wait, do you like My Little Pony ?,” Serenity asks Nova, staring at her My Little Pony tattoo with concern.

“I used to,” Nova shrugs and then sings a few lines of a song to himself. “I think I still have the Equestria Girls soundtrack on my iPod. I kind of wanna get Rainbow Dash’s cutie mark as a real tattoo. Wouldn’t that be cool ?”

“So cool,” the girl echoes, “can I help you do the other  kids tattoos ?”

“Sure—”

“Other ?,” Haley frowns.

“Some of the other kids wanted them,” the intern says. “Is it not okay ? We’re making everyone wash their hands and use sanitizer and…you look mad, Haley.”

“I’m not mad,” Haley says quickly, putting on his nursing smile. “Just watch them. And Nova, make sure you’re still doing what you’ve been  asked to do by the supervising RN.”

Haley wasn’t mad. But community service was supposed to be punitive and Nova looked to be having entirely too much fun.

They nurses were always scraping together activities the kids rarely wanted to participate in. Leave it to his son to find an activity that all the kids  got excited for using  just the tracing paper and markers from his backpack. He took it as a good sign  his son wasn't completely selfish and hopeless.

When Haley’s shift ends he finds Nova folding towels while chatting with two quadriplegic preteen girls. They were rating the boys in a decade old teen magazine.

They'd enrolled Nova in an online school since the public middle school was overcrowded. He liked that in online school Nova could work at his own pace. But losing so much of his social interaction and being in the condo with Luce all day had been the worst punishment for his extroverted son.

“Nova, we have to go. Come sign out,” Haley calls.

He is met with a chorus of disappointed noise from the girls but Nova promises to come back next week. As they sign out at the receptionist’s desk the intern comes up to them and punches Nova playfully on the arm.

“I was thinking we could make slime tomorrow. Are you in ?,”

“Yes! Oh, but Dad and I won’t be coming in tomorrow,” Nova grins with an amused look in his eye. “My grandma is getting out of federal prison.”

The intern and receptionist both go still, deciding if they should laugh or be concerned.  

“It’s um, not what it sounds like,” Haley says, ushering Nova out the door. “Good night.”

“You didn’t tell them ?,” Nova asks when they are outside. He pulls off his forest green Valley Healthcare Volunteer polo. Underneath he wore a cartoon graphic t-shirt.“I literally told Holland the day you told me.”

“I like to keep my personal and professional life separate,” Haley explains. His coworkers followed his carefully crafted Facebook and he did not want to   explain his mother-in-law was serving a federal prison sentence for shooting a cop in the 90s. “I need to run inside the hospital for a second to do something.  Can you wait for me in the cafeteria ? It shouldn’t take more than 30 minutes.”

“What are you doing ?”

Haley shrugs and pauses a beat longer than he should. He’d had all day to come up with a lie but he hadn’t.

“I’m just having a routine blood draw.”

 “Cool. Can I watch ?”

“No!” Haley says almost too quickly.  Nova frowns and Haley softens his tone. “You did so good today, Nova. I know it’s been a shitty year and I’m proud of you. Just do your school work and decide what you and Holland want for dinner.”

Holland’s least favorite uncle was in town for the weekend  and she was staying with them until he left. Holland and Nova were trouble together but Haley saw pieces of himself in her and their door was open if she needed it.

Once Nova is headed towards the cafeteria Haley  takes a shortcut through the medical campus to the fertility clinic.  

 

***

 -4-

“THEY'RE HERE, THEY'RE HERE! SECURITY JUST LET THEM THROUGH THE GATE!” 19-year-old Eloise Washington yells, running down the mansion stairs and past the living room in a Supreme t-shirt and black yoga pants outfit she’d proudly told Haley cost only $125.

Haley was laying on the living room couch with Luce, switching between scrolling Facebook and watching Luce type code into a computer.  Eloise slides across the hardwood floor into the  media room where  her sisters, Holland and Nova were playing a video game. Haley can hear the Washington sisters suddenly start fighting about something.

“Fuck!” Luce curses, shutting the laptop and handing it to Haley. “I’m about to have a seizure. Don’t tell anyone. They’ll just freak out.”

Haley nods and helps him lay on the plush rug. He’d had so many seizures since his second suicide attempt that Luce  had started to feel the signs of an onset. The convulsions are almost undetectable but his eyes get the distant look and he always made a soft grunting sound when he was having a absence.

A soft beep from the security system signals the garage doors are opening and Haley watches the teenagers head for the door. The sisters are each armed with a bouquet of colorful welcome home balloons. After being unable to decide which ones to order they'd just ordered three sets.

“Luce ?,” Haley whispers sharply in an attempt to snap him out of the absence.

He comes back just as the  Washington sisters scream “Grandma Sara!” in unison.  

“Get me in my chair,” Luce orders.

“You need to lie down—”

“I’m fine.”

He wasn’t fine but Haley helps him into the chair anyway and rolls him to the garage entrance where Jean, Minnow, Alan, Charlotte, Rias, Twyla and Colette are filing inside. They’d all gone to pick Sara up from Arizona but Luce had stayed, unable to make the 5 hour drive.

Haley barely glimpses Sara before she is crowded in on all sides by the Washington sisters.

“Was it like in Orange is The New Black?,” 17-year-old Mai asks. “Did they jump you in—”

“They wouldn’t do that in women’s prison. Did you have to make someone your prison bitch ?,” Eloise asks gleefully. “Oh, wait can you make prison wine—I mean moonshine. Or do they call it pruno ?  Did people do that a lot ? I heard that—"

 “Grandma Sara, were there murderers ? Can you come  do a storytime on my YouTube ?,” Atsumi inquires, waving her phone in Sara’s face. “I saw on Reddit that lady who fed her husband to pigs was in there, did you meet her ? Like in the cafeteria ? Here is her mugshot but it’s from like the 80s. Oh, did you see  the one lady who stole the—”

“Girls, we talked about this,” Rias says firmly, although there is little venom in his voice. “She might not be ready to talk about it.”

 “I just…kept my head down and served my time,” Sara says. In an uncharacteristic show of affection, she takes the three girls in a hug. “I missed you all so much.”

She looks over at Nova. “All of you.”

The girls make space and Nova hesitantly joins their hug.

While Sara dodges more probing questions Haley helps himself to the catered  barbecue lunch Charlotte had set up for Sara’s homecoming. He spots Sara and Luce going into the living room alone and follows after them. He was being nosy but after all the stress Luce had put him through with her being gone he deserved a front row seat to their reunion. 

He might even record it. 

“Your room is exactly as you left it,” Haley informs Sara, offering up the glass of red wine he’d poured for himself. She nods in appreciation.

“Actually, I was talking to Twyla and Colette on the ride up. I only have six months of probation…when it’s over I think I’ll be spending half the year with them in New York—”

“Why would you do that ?,” Luce bites. “You just came back.” 

“Twyla doesn't have a renter in their duplex right now and you know my best friend is in New York now.”

“Best friend ? Jean ?,” Haley has to ask because Luce seems unfazed that his mother, a woman who barely spoke or left her apartment , had used the term  best friend.

“Ivy,” Sara fills in, “I wrote to  her while I was in Arizona and she wrote back and we reconciled from a falling out we had decades ago.”

“You slept with her husband and got knocked up with Rias,” Luce fills in and Sara gives him a slightly withering glance. “Ivy is still getting alimony, she can afford to come here. You live here. Your grandchildren are here.”

His expression is hard and unforgiving.

“They’re not children anymore and they don’t need me,” Sara says. “Besides, you might want to use my room in the condo for the baby—”

“Twyla told you ?,” Haley says. They'd all decided not to tell anyone Twyla had agreed to be their surrogate until they got past the second trimester.

Sara shakes her head. “No. I saw the ovulation reminder on Twyla's phone. And Twyla didn’t even like children when she was one.”

“This is our third round,” Haley confesses. “We did two rounds with a donor egg and Luce’s sperm that…didn’t work out. But this is better, I think. Then it will have some Grace and Haley DNA.”

Luce sits up suddenly, maneuvering his wheelchair across the hardwood floor toward the elevator. “It’s too fucking loud down here. I’m going to lay down upstairs.”

Haley watches Sara watching him wheel away. When Luce’s back is to her she takes a sip of the wine and sighs deeply before downing half the glass.

“I missed this,” she says more to the wine glass then to Haley. “Is he okay ?”

“He’s managing. He really does get tired easily and has some pain. But we are going to see a new specialist in Carson City next week.” Haley says. “Are you okay ? You seem a little...”

Haley had  no idea how he intended to finish that sentence. She looks at her wine glass and then back at Haley.

“I guess I'm managing too…It was a fucking nightmare in there,” she admits quietly. Her voice shakes. “I didn’t want anyone to worry but…every fucking day I found a new piece of dignity to give up. The way we were treated…the conditions....it's inhumane the way they keep people like that. I feel for the women still in there because I’m honestly not sure I could have made it another day.”

He’d assumed the prison had been awful but had done his best to just not think about what he couldn't help. She'd made it so easy by never talking about what it was like inside during their phone calls.

“I’m so sorry, Sara.”

She shakes her head. “It’s nothing, I survived.”

----

A/N

I'm not sure why but at some point I wanted to write a teeny tiny mini redemption arc for Sara where she did what she needed to do to not be a fugitive.

This chapter is kind of all over the place but I wanted to set up somethings.