June 2018
New York, New York
NYC Pride
-1-
Haley grins down at the gaggle of shirtless twenty-somethings gathered under the empty parade float. The co-eds had effortlessly coordinated themselves to carry Luce’s wheelchair off the parade float, followed by Luce himself.
“Thank you so much. I’m almost jealous!” Haley laughs, as they settle Luce on the street.
At the beginning of the parade route there had been a wheelchair lift to get them up on the float but now, at the end of the route, they’d been stuck waiting 45 minutes for a parade official to help. A a group of male cheerleaders from Eastham College had spotted them alone on the empty float and come to their rescue.
“Hey, we got you too!” one of the cheerleaders calls up to Haley, a teasing grin on his face.
The college student probably didn’t expect Haley to take him up on his offer but Haley sticks his rainbow flag into the back pocket of his shorts and fearlessly steps over the edge of the float and into the thick cradled arms of two cheerleaders.
He laughs as they set him down on the road. After a few more thank yous the boys disappear into the crowd almost as quickly as they came.
“They were so cute,” Haley muses, falling in step next to Luce. The chaotic post-parade crowd parts easily for Luce’s chair as he leads them back to the street with the spectators. “That was fun!"
Because Twyla's second insemination had been scheduled the same week as Pride, Haley decided to make a vacation of it and take one of the float spots the Dorys were always winning at charity auctions. He would have let Nova on the float too, but the only float with spots left was for a high end adult nightclub.
He spots Nova easily on the edge parade route with
his bright aquamarine hair. He’d come home with the color last month after getting Holland to drive him to Haley’s colorist and telling her Haley had
approved the semi-permanent color be charged on his account.
Nova was busy making faces into his phone’s camera, showing off his Hamilton t-shirt and the bright pansexual flag painted on his cheek in shimmery face paint. He stood between Sara and Twyla—who wore a long black sundress covered in rainbow hearts.
“Dad! Look!” Nova bolts towards Haley with his phone facing outward.
“Don't run,” Haley reminds him.
Against Luce's wishes he’d bought Nova a phone when he completed his court mandated classes, got a stellar report for his community service at Haley's job and finished online school with a 3.7 GPA.
He takes Nova's phone and taps the video of himself standing on the edge of elaborate float in black cut offs, high top Converses and white tank top with a pride flag printed on it. His loose hair and shades covered most of his face. He usually hated spontaneous pictures of himself but from a certain angle he almost looked as young as the dancers on the sides of the float.
Luce was beside him on the float in a very much unbuttoned lavender button up, unsmiling among the party like atmosphere of the float. He’d let Nova paint a glitter bisexual pride flag on his cheek and he waved his pride flag like it was the most inconvenient thing in the world.
“Are we Instagram worthy?,” Haley asks,
replaying the video to look at himself again.
“No way, it’ll ruin my aesthetic of the week. I can send it to you and you can put it on your Facebook.”
Haley already had that covered. During the float check-in this morning Haley put on a cardigan on to cover his tattooed shoulder---he didn't need his Facebook friends to know just how many tattoos he had--and made Luce smile with their him in front of the Human Rights Campaign float. He’d added the caption love is love and the likes flooded in.
“I’m starving,” Twyla whines, guzzling from a white Hydroflask. “Do we know what we’re doing for lunch ?”
“Ooh, can we go to that place from When Harry Met Sally ?,” Nova asks. “It’s near here, right ? Dad, come with us—”
Haley shakes his head. “We're going to check into our hotel. Be good—”
“Why can’t I stay in the city with you?,” Nova whines. “It’s not fair.”
Haley had become immune to Nova’s claims of unfairness. Maverick was co-hosting a party in Brooklyn so he'd gotten a hotel in the city for he and Luce while Nova went back to Twyla and Colette's duplex in Staten Island.
They’d been on the East Coast for a week and had indulged Nova in nearly everything he’d wanted to do from Broadway shows to wandering around Greenwich Village for the Friends apartment exterior.
“You get to hang out with me. I’m cool,” Twyla starts to remind him but she is drowned out by the rumble of Harley Davidsons barreling down the parade route. The endless cavalcade of motorcycles was led by Colette, her motorcycle club had marshaled the parade for the last five years.
Colette sidles her Harley Davidson up on the
sidewalk next to them. She revs her engine as the other riders zip past,
beeping their horns in farewell. A few call out and whistle affectionately to
Twyla who waves back with both hands.
“Fuck, it’s hot,” Colette pants, taking her helmet off. She takes Twyla’s Hydroflask and pours it over her face.
“I think we're doing Katz for lunch,” Twyla informs her, bending down to kiss her flushed cheek.
“Ooh, Colette, can I ride on the back of your bike to the restaurant?,” Nova asks, eyes wide, “please ?”
“No.” Every adult except Colette responds.
“Whhhy ? But it’s not even that far—”
“Maybe when you’re 18,” Colette offers.
Nova sighs and strokes body of the thrumming Harley-Davidson absently. “Twyla, how come you didn’t ride on Colette’s bike like last year?”
“I wasn't sure about the baby,” she replies without thinking. Luce yanks on her arm but it’s too late.
“What ? You’re having a baby ?,” Nova exclaims. He claps his hands. “Oh my god!”
Nova looks at each of the adults, taking in their panicked facial expressions carefully. “What ? What did I say ?”
“Sorry,” Twyla mumbles.
“Fuck it,” Luce says. “Twyla is Dad and I’s surrogate.”
“We didn’t tell you because these things take time,” Haley adds quickly. “We went to a fertility clinic when we got here and—”
“When is it going to be here ? Nine months, right ? ”
“If all goes well but we aren’t even there yet,” Haley says. “Do we need to have a talk about this ?”
Nova shrugs and opens up his phone. “No. I get it… Dad wants his own kid--”
“No.” Luce cuts him off before he can even finish. “You’re my son just as much as this baby will be. You know that.”
“Okay,whatever” Nova says, scrolling through his recent photos.
***
-2-
“Doesn't your boy clean up nice ?,” Haley asks.
They’d checked into their boutique SoHo hotel
and Haley had immediately showered and changed into the tightest pair of distressed dark wash jeggings he owned and a pair matte black Mary Jane stilettos he’d rescued from Minnow’s trash pile. He’d just pulled
on a very un-family friendly black crop top with the phrase spank me in
fancy gray calligraphy and covered his body in glowing body lotion.
His husband should be drooling. Not half asleep on the tiny hotel bed.
“Why do you think Nova said that ?,” Luce frowns.
“Said what ? He never stops talking. Teaching him to talk was my first mistake. Where the fuck is my navel ring ? I know I packed—”
“That thing about me wanting my own kid. He...doesn’t see me as a father.”
Haley sighs and crosses his arms.
“He knows you're his dad...he's probably just looking for reassurance you love him—”
“But he knows I love him—”
“I know…but you have to say it more. It’s nice to hear.” Haley pulls his hair into a ponytail and uses his curling iron to curl the ends. “Nova will be fine and this is probably our last night out together before we have a baby so tell me how cute I look and all the filthy things you'd like to do to me.”
“Why are you even dressed ?” Luce asks instead. “We don’t have to leave for three hours.”
“I thought you could take me shopping before the party.”
“My chair barely fits in this fucking hotel room, it isn’t going to fit in any of these little ass sex shops.”
His wheelchair was currently folded into the closet and
they’d had to leave their single suitcase on the windowsill--which gave Haley just enough
room to walk around the room if he turned sideways. The hotel had a handicap room, but it wasn't available for the deal Haley had found on a discount website.
Haley lays back on the bed in the opposite direction of Luce and walks his feet up Luce’s bare chest until he can press the tip of the stiletto into Luce’s cheek.
“Hm,” Haley ponders,lightly walking the heels up and down Luce's face. “What. Should.We. Do. Until. Maverick’s party ?”
“I’m fucking exhausted. I need to sleep.”
“Can I go buy myself something fun while you do that ?”
Luce captures Haley’s foot and kisses the
rounded toe of the high heel.
“No.”
Haley was annoyed. But also incredibly turned on.
Luce had set up a website for a domme who was selling a self-published a book about how she financially dominated a series of obscenely wealthy married men. Haley had thought the financial domination was mostly a punchline but Luce had suggested they try it and he surprisingly liked it.
It was a different kind of vulnerability. Standing in a store and calling to ask if he could buy something gave him the same thrills he got from physical contact. But it required less physical effort from Luce, who didn't take much joy from impact play anyway.
As Luce falls asleep, Haley stands and gently pulls out Luce's catheter. He'd had to wear it since it was nearly impossible to find bathrooms he fit in while they were out in the city. He gives him medicine and food through his feeding
tube and then sneaks to the pizza place a block away to bring a
slice back to the hotel room.
He spends the next three hours on his phone stalking the profiles of the social media influencers Maverick had invited to his NYC Pride party. Haley always had fun at Maverick’s events but he hated that Maverick, who was approaching 35, still kept his guest lists mostly under 30.
After dotting his face with concealer and applying a blackish red matte lipstick he wakes Luce up with a trail of kisses down his back and a slow rimjob. Luce's lower half ends up covered in the dark lipstick but he doesn’t seem to mind.
***
-3-
After being unable to find a subway stop with
an elevator they board a cross town bus to Brooklyn and arrive at the brownstone
He clicks back down the steps to help guide Luce
along as he scoots up the brownstone stairs one step at a time.
“Maverick could have fucking warned us about the stairs. This fucking city...” Luce growls around shallow breaths once they are on the top step.
“People...forget…these buildings are so pretty but...fucking ancient,” Haley pants and sits next to him on the stoop. He gives Luce a gentle peck and hugs him close. “Are you going to collar me before we go inside ?”
“Get on your knees.”
Haley excitedly moves to obey when a sudden tightness seizes his knees and radiates up.
“What’s wrong, Lex ?”
“Fuck,” Haley hisses and Luce grabs his chin sharply.
“Don’t curse. You’re look too pretty for that.”
“Yes, sir.”
He attempts to smile to hide his pain but Luce sees right through it.
“You did something. You’ve been standing up all day and now you're wearing those fucking shoes. You should have let someone help you carry the fucking chair—”
“It’s not that heavy. I lift twice that much everyday at work. I just need—”
“Don't kneel.”
“I want to…. I'm fine—”
“Don’t,” Luce tell him in his stern Dom voice and Haley stops mid-kneel attempt. “Don’t hurt yourself for me, Lex. Never push yourself like that.”
Haley nods, securing the collar around his own neck. He can’t stop the intrusive thoughts about another physical reminders of his age. He'd taken Nova to an eye exam last year and somehow walked out with a prescription too.
“Luce Grace, right ?,” a blonde man in his early thirties calls out when they finally enter the brownstone. He’d come seemingly out of nowhere with his superhero proportioned body.
It had to be a record.
It hadn’t escaped Haley’s attention that Luce
wore every year better than the last. Outwardly, he'd settled
comfortably into a bossy, domineering man of a certain age type that attracted people--especially the ones at events like these with daddy kinks.
But it was happening outside of the scene now too. Numbers were slid over to him at bars, doctor's offices and strip clubs. All while he wore his wedding band with Haley standing near enough to witness every attempt.
“Do I know you ?,” Luce asks the fit blonde man.
“Grant Figueroa.” the blonde man introduces himself. His body language was all confidence. “Fallwater built my medical fetish directory a few years back.”
“What a coincidence,” Haley muses.
“Not really,” Grant smiles. “Maverick is the one who told me about Fallwater. We’ve been online friends since AOL chatroom days. He didn’t tell me you were in a chair. It's nice.”
Luce says nothing but his gaze is heated.
“What kinds of things are on your website ?,”
Haley asks. He attempts to take Luce's hand but Luce doesn't take the hint.
Grant seems to notice Haley for the first time even though he’d responded to Haley’s comment only seconds ago. “It’s a directory so it goes to other sites but I make digital tutorials for newbies to the medfet community who want to experiment with equipment.”
“That sounds kind of dangerous.”
“It’s just harmless things like blood pressure, needles,speculums—”
“Well, but those aren't harmless. You could kill someone if you don't properly use a needle—”
A crease forms in Grant's brow. “Your pretty mouthy for a sub.”
“He’s a nurse,” Luce supplies.
“Yeah, well it sounds like you’re kink shaming, I've been in this community a while,” Grant says to Haley.. “Lots of people think BDSM fetishizes abusive relationships but you don't see me--”
“Excuse me ?,” Haley starts.
“Alex. You’re bring pissy.” Luce reprimands him.
Haley was irritated and he didn't know why. He usually loved when Luce put him in his place, which was rare, but he suddenly didn't feel like being at this party anymore. His irritation only grows
when Luce gestures for Grant to come closer and whispers something into his ear.
“Can you get me a drink ?,” Luce commands more than asks of Grant.
“What do you want ?," Grant asks, eager to
please and almost smug about it.
“Whiskey. Red wine, if the whiskey is shit.”
Grant nods and walks off.
“He’s fetishizing you,” Haley says. “I don’t like it.”
“Isn’t that what everyone here is doing ? You're being a brat, I don't like that--”
“I'm sorry but there's a difference between playing doctor and shoving a needle in someone's vein. And I don’t like people using your actual disability to get off —"
“You don’t make that call. I'm not stupid. I know what he’s into. I remember him.” Luce says and reaches out for Haley’s hand. Luce's wedding band was so obvious against his finger. Grant hadn't even asked if they had an open relationship. “Lex, do you need me to back off ? Tell me and I'm all yours.”
Haley shakes his head, not wanting to sound needy.
He follows Luce into the party. As they enter the modern open living room a
feather light touch caresses Haley’s neck and his senses go soft at the smell
of leather. He turns to see Maverick looking like a walking fantasy in leather.
“You look like Mad Max,” Haley tells him.
“I do not,” Maverick counters and bites his lip. “But, mmm, I almost busted a nut at that scene when he was tied to that car all muzzled and grunt-y …that’s how I like my boys.”
He fixes Haley with a sensuous look at the last part.
“I meant Road Warrior not Fury Road but thanks, now you’ve just made me feel super old.”
Maverick gives Haley a shit eating grin and brushes their lips together. “Heard you’re causing drama.”
“Me ?”
“Grant is just bitching about you to the bartender. Grant's a good guy but the our side of the influencer community loves drama. I’ve been cancelled like three times.”
“For what ?”
He shrugs. “Once for when people thought Rox and I faked dated and broke up for attention--it was stupid, I know...another time when people figured out I was lying about my age and another time when I had some conservative evangelicals on my podcast.”
Maverick hooks his arm around Haley’s and gives Luce’s chair a small kick.
“Can I borrow him ? I’m doing a rope demo.”
“His knees are—”
“I’m fine,” Haley interrupts.
“It’s okay.” Maverick looks him up and down. “If you can’t kneel you can lie at my feet and worship my boots.”
They make it only a few steps before Maverick stops suddenly. “Oh, right. Shit, I forgot. You might want to check your baby’s Instagram story.”
Haley pulls away from Maverick’s grip sharply. “Why the hell are you following my son on Instagram ?”
“Hey, whoa I’m not,” Maverick corrects quickly, terrified by Haley’s sudden intensity. “He just commented on one of my Pride posts and it got a bunch of sketch replies so I looked—"
Haley turns to get his phone from Luce. He nervously opens the app and searches for Nova’s username.
His account had started as skateboarding
videos and video game memes before becoming selfies and pictures of every single thing he did. Haley had
been monitoring it at first but stopped paying attention weeks ago.
The newest picture on his account is a candid from only a few hours ago when Colette pulled up on her bike at the end of the parade route. Twyla is leaning down to kiss Colette and Haley sees himself looking at his phone, his fingers grazing Luce’s. Sara is beside them, looking into the distance with her arms crossed.
Underneath the photo Nova had written the caption:
If you were wondering how I turned out like this it might because my ✨entire family ✨is queer as fuck. #NYCPride #pansexual #DontWantToFuckYourCalphalon #bluehairdontcare #queeraf 🤷🏳️🌈️🌈
Haley stares at the Calphalon hashtag.
It was
the same stupid pansexual joke he’d heard Maverick make multiple times on his podcast.
That couldn't be a coincidence.
“He knows you…” His voice is hollow with realization.
“One of my good friends is in Cosmic Rainbow and I got a lot of younger YouTube followers from being in her vlogs. My YouTube and podcast are totally different. Plus, your podcast episode is buried way deep in the archive of my site,” Maverick assures him. “But, um I meant you should look at his IG story.”
“What is that ?”
Maverick taps on the glowing profile icon for him.
Haley watches in growing horror as a series of images slide across the screen showing Nova posing suggestively with a series of phallic shaped objects in the ads and street art around New York.
In the final photo his shirt is pulled up to show his chest and he has his open mouth next to a poster for a sub sandwich squirting mustard. On top he’d written:
YeS, BoYs I’ll PuT AnYtHiNg iN mY mOuTh. #nobutseriouslymustardisgross 🤪🍆
Haley closes out of the app shaking and seeing nothing but red.
“Lex. What is it ?”
He can’t even make the words to explain what he just saw. He calls Nova's phone and his son answers the call giddily. “Hey, Dad! FaceTime me I want to show you—”
“Delete that Instagram story right now—actually delete the whole account—”
“What—Why ?”
“Those pictures you posted are disgusting and completely inappropriate—”
“Whoa, Dad those were just an inside joke—”
“IT IS NOT A JOKE, NOVA !”
“Fine. I’ll delete the story, god, are you fucking serious right now ?”
“Yes. I’m so disappointed in you. You know better. Give Twyla your the phone until I get back—”
“No! Why ?,” Nova’s voice cracks and he can hear him starting to tear up. “Why are you trying to ruin everything over a stupid joke—”
“I didn’t ruin it. Put Twyla on the phone—”
The line goes silent and Haley looks down to see he’s been hung up on. He dials Twyla.
“Um, hey ?,” Twyla answers meekly.
“Where are you guys?”
“....Shake Shack in Central Park—”
He hears Nova in the background shouting and Sara calmly asking him repeatedly to pick something up.
“Um,” Twyla says. “He's really mad...he just knocked a chair over. I really don’t think I’m equipped for this.”
“I DIDN’T FUCKING DO ANYTHING! HE’S BEING A FUCKING ASSHOLE! I DIDN'T DO ANYTHING, HE'S BEING A FUCKING HYPOCRITE! HE IS A FUCKING LIAR. WHAT THE MOTHERFUCKING HELL ?”
“Put him on the phone,” Haley says. He'd watched Nova punch a hole in the wall earlier in the summer when Haley hadn't let him go to a 10PM movie with is friends but he usually kept himself in control outside of the house. He hears Nova say he doesn’t want to talk before finally taking the phone
“It was just a joke! You used to do stuff like that when you were my age,” Nova throws at him, accusatory. “And I just did it as a stupid fucking joke but you just always have to find a reason to be pissed at me BECAUSE YOUR LIFE SUCKS—”
“I was not your age when I did those things,” Haley reminds him. “And you're pictures are on the internet. They could be put anywhere. It’s not a joke, it's vile. There are pedophiles out there just waiting to take advantage. And you should not be following any adult entertainers on social me--”
“Who ? You mean Maverick ? Your friend, Dad ?,” he spits.
“Nova—"
“I found his podcast on your phone. You’re such a motherfucking liar. I know everything you used to do but I never said anything. You're such a fucking hypocrite. I just took funny pictures of myself, I'm not stupid enough to actually just do it with anyone and get HIV like you did.”
Haley grips the phone and feels his patience snap. His voice comes out caustic and sharp.
“I didn't get HIV from doing adult films. I got HIV when I was a teenager and had an older boyfriend who liked to rape me without a condom and beat the shit out of me. And let me tell you something, Nova that’s exactly what manipulative men do when they see stupid teenage boys who show off and act like they're more mature than they are--”
Luce snatches the phone out of Haley’s hand and puts it on speaker.
“Nova.”
“What—”
“You aren't going to have that attitude with me—”
“You can't tell me what to do— ”
“Shut your mouth and delete whatever shit you put on the internet and then either give your phone to Twyla for the day or I'll make sure you never see it again. You’re grounded starting now—”
“You can’t ground me on vacation—”
“You’re not on vacation anymore.”
“But—”
“Didn't I tell you to shut up ? I heard what you said to your Dad. I know you’re better than that. Stop throwing a tantrum like a toddler. Do as your told and if I find out you gave Ma or Twyla any shit you and I are going to have a problem. I’m hanging up now.”
Luce hangs the phone up just as Nova begins a retort.
Haley takes his phone back and crosses his arms.
“Jesus Christ, Alex you have got to stop arguing with him—"
“I do not—”
“You do. You always have. He's a child—”
“Oh, I'm sorry,” Haley spits indignantly. “I forgot you know everything about parenting because you've been a father for two hole years and spent a few months watching him in online school—”
“You know I did more than watch him. I sat through everyone of those long ass meeting with his special ed teachers instead of flaking like you always did. I made sure he passed with the highest GPA he's ever had, didn't I ? And don't act like I haven't been there since day one helping you keep a roof over his head when you couldn't even afford groceries--”
“—He only found it because you never taught him to respect our space —”
“Okay, well fuck you—”
“Fuck you—”
“Hey, hey, whoa come on guys,” Maverick cuts in swiftly. The area of the brownstone they’d been standing in had completely cleared. Maverick massages Haley’s back. “This is still a party. Everything is okay now. Come on, let me take care of you, babe—
“Babe, babe, babe.” Haley scuffs scrolling
through Nova’s Instagram and looking at the way Holland and Nova constantly
called each other by the endearment. “ I should have known.”
“I told you not to let him have a phone, didn't I ? ” Luce spits. “You've been letting screens babysit him since he was a kid and this is what happens. ”
“Okay, Luce,” Haley responds wearily. He was tired of fighting and low blows. “You can get rid of the phone. Give him your fucking beeper for all I care, I'd love to see how well that goes.”
“I feel responsible,” Maverick chimes in.
“No, I'm sorry you had to see that. We should get back to Staten Island,” Haley says. “My son has been fucking insane lately and…I haven’t been feeling it today anyway.”
Haley turns to face the door. Luce grabs his hand as he starts towards the exit but instead of pausing, Haley drags him along behind him.
“Lex, wait. We’re not leaving. You look too good to just call it a night right now. I'm sorry I yelled at you. We’re not letting him ruin another night for us—”
“Another?,” Maverick asks, walking alongside them to the door.
“His bullshit fucked up our honeymoon,” Luce grumbles.
“Holy fucking cockblock. I really need to schedule that vasectomy. Look, I feel like I started this—”
“You didn’t,” Haley tells him. “I’m glad you told me. We're good, I'm sorry we fought like that at your party.”
“I have this client who owns a massage parlor chain. They have one on Staten Island, let me get you two an appointment. It seems like you need it.” Maverick offers. “Your body will thank you and a happy ending is included. It’s totally legit, above the board.”
Haley turns to Luce who nods with a small shrug.
“Fine,” Haley nods, removing his heels to carry Luce’s chair back down the steps.
***
July 2018
“Hey, Luce!…Huh…This is kinda weird isn’t it?”
“Why ?”
“I just…In 37 years you have never called your baby sister.”
“I don’t call anyone.”
“You know what ? Neither do I. I text everyone. Please tell me you got a smartphone.”
“I don’t need one. I…wanted to call to check on you.”
“Oh, I’m fine. Mother’s here being all maternal. Or her version of it…I think every uterus having person I know has a miscarriage story. I'm good.”
“Lex and I talked. We'll cover the bill this time—”
“We got it. I’m looking at the calendar for the rest of the summer. I still have some PTO and Colette has a charity motorcycle ride in Anaheim on Labor Day. I can swing by Las Vegas and get inseminated again—”
“Actually we decided to stop trying---”
“Really ? I mean it's a bitch but I'm up for it. Third time’s the charm—”
“We can't put you through all that again...Nova's been a handful all summer...his probation officer thinks he might be bipolar. With the way he's been acting we're afraid to even have a baby around him.”
“Oh, wow--”
“I don't know why I told you that. We haven't gotten the test... I probably shouldn't have said anything”
“I'm your sister, you can tell me things. We can pick this up next year if you want.”
“ Lex doesn't want to hear this but I'm too old to have another kid. With all my shit, I wasn't supposed to make it to 50, I've only got a good 20 years left tops. That wouldn't be fair to the kid or Alex.”
“Don’t say that, you’ve always been kind of invincible. I believe that.”
“ ”
“ ”
“...This was nice, Luce. We should check in with each other more often.”
“….What would we talk about ?”
“I guess we could shit talk Rias ?”
“Like how he pays $200 for a haircut but his hair always looks exactly the same ?”
“Oh my god, right ? You notice that too !”
***
-4-
August
2018
Haley had been looking forward to the quiet of
an overnight shift. Usually the residents slept and he got to sit in the empty reception
area, listen to music and catch up on paperwork.
But not tonight.
Five of the children had presented with flu like symptoms and he and the CNAs spent all night bouncing between rooms of distressed children. He’d had to change his scrubs three times.
Which is why, when he walked out of his shift
at 4AM, he sat in the McDonald’s parking lot with a caramel sundae and an erotic werewolf romance audiobook.
Once he's taken a few bites of the sundae he calls Luce to check in and gets sent straight to voicemail. After a second attempt goes directly to voicemail he
tries Luce's cell phone.
When that doesn't pick up he panics.
He races to the condo, barely pulling into the parking space before bolting up the condo stairs. There is a hole smashed in the window and the object that caused the hole—Luce’s flip phone—lay broken on the ground outside. He peaks through the hole to see Luce moving around inside his office.
Luce spins to face him. Behind him the landline was dialing out on speaker phone.
He looked enraged but his tone to Haley is suspiciously sweet and placating. “Lex, it’s fine, baby, I’ll take care of it—”
“Are you okay ? What's going on ?”
The number Luce had been dialing on the landline connects and Haley hears a familiar voicemail greeting.
“If you’re thinking about leaving a message after the beep you’re probably one of my dads so please don’t. No one answers phone calls. Just text me. You got this, Dads. I believe in you.”
Haley walks back across the living room and
pushes open the door to Nova’s bedroom. There appeared to be someone in the bed but when Haley pushes aside the pile of stuffed animals it's just dirty laundry balled up to look like a body.
“Luce, where is he—”
“I don’t know—”
“You don’t know ? What ? You just let him walk out the door—”
“No. I caught him walking in piss drunk at 4AM. I thought he was in bed. I threatened to call his probation officer and he threw my cell phone through the window—”
“I don’t care about your phone. Where is our son ?”
“I lost control—”
Haley desperately wanted to go back to dealing
with projectile vomit and non stop runny noses. He'd told Luce he didn't like the idea of adults hitting children.
“We talked about this—”
“He was acting weird about his backpack so I looked inside thinking he had alcohol,” Luce says. “Instead I find pills and cash. I asked him what it was and he lied to my face, I smacked him in the mouth once and he started destroying my office. Then he left.”
“Why did you accuse him of lying ?”
Luce hands him a sequin makeup bag that had come with one of Haley's skincare subscription boxes. He unzips it to find a plastic baggie half full with different pills, 5-Hour Energy bottles and a roll of twenties. He instantly recognizes the Ritlan and Viagra along with an assortment of antidepressants and the pain pill samples he collected from doctors he was friendly with. Haley opens the 5-Hour Energy bottle and pours out a clear, odorless liquid he is sure is Ketamine.
He never had the time or energy to take inventory of all the medication in the condo and they didn't pay Luce's nurse enough to do it. If she said Luce needed a refill of a medication Haley just refilled it.
“God, Luce. Why didn’t you just fucking call me?”
“I was handling it—”
“How?,” Haley shouts. "I don't want him in jail.”
“I know, I've been trying to call him but he won't call me back.”
All of the horror stories Haley had ever heard about teenagers wandering around at night play through his head.
“Did you call Holland ?”
“I couldn't find her number—"
“Fuck it, I’m just going over there,” Haley decides. He picks his car keys back up and heads for the door.
“I’ll go with you—”
“No, I think you’ve done enough,” Haley says quickly. “You should stay here in case he comes back.”
***
Haley finds a parking space a block from the apartment building Holland had recently moved into with her cousin who treated her more like a roommate than a child. Holland had to grow up quickly and Haley knew her friendship with Nova was important to her.
But she sometimes forgot Nova was nearly two years younger.
He stands outside the building and calls Holland’s cell.
“Haley ?,” she croaks, clearly having just been woken up. He hears another girl in the background giggle and ask who is on the phone.
“Hi, honey,” Haley says. “I’m sorry to wake you but is Nova there ? I’m outside your building and I just need to bring him home.”
She clears the sleep out of her voice. “What ? Hold on.”
He hears movement on the other end of the line and the ding of an elevator. A minute later Holland is walking out of the building towards him. She’d clearly fallen asleep in a full face of makeup and when she gets close Haley smells weed and alcohol on her.
“Nova’s not here,” she says quietly, her brow furrowed in concern. “I mean he was…but I drove him home like an hour ago. I watched him go inside and everything. I swear.”
“He got in a fight with Luce and left again. He didn’t call you to pick him up again ?”
“No.” Her bottom lip quivers. “Holy fucking shit.”
She quickly takes out her phone and Haley watches her text Nova asking if he was still up.
He responds to Holland's text quickly and Haley lets out the breath he’d been holding .
Yeah, had some drama with Dad II. Fill you in in the morning, babe! I’m good tho. 😇 Go to sleep, bitch. 💙💙💙
“Can you please ask him where he is ?,” Haley asks.
“He’ll shut down if I ask that.” She bites her lip and pulls at her ear. “He’s kind of been into this dumb guy who was at the kickback tonight. He’s not a creep or anything but just like...corny and fake ? We always fight about him and Nova shuts down if I imply he’s with him…which he probably is judging by all the heart emojis.”
A boy.
The last thing Haley needed.
“Do you know where this boy lives?”
She opens Instagram and scrolls through the account of a pale boy with a strong jawline, delicate features and inky black hair that fell into his face. His page was mostly pictures of him posing with dangly earrings and his hands in peace signs. Each of his posts had hundreds of likes.
“His name is Lev,” she says and points to an Instagram post with Lev and his parents at the University of Nevada Las Vegas move-in day. “He just moved into the freshman dorm.”
“Do you have his number ?”
“No, but I can try to message him on IG. ”
“Do that,” Haley tells her. “I’m going to look around the university. Tell me if you hear anything. Nova’s not in trouble, we just want him back home.”
She nods and he drives back across the city to the University of Nevada campus and parks illegally in front of the freshman dorm. Inside, a front desk staffed by two student workers blocks his path. They look at him suspiciously as he approaches.
“Hi, my name is Alex. I’m looking for my son…He has blue hair. I think he knows someone who lives here. Did you see him ?”
“Um, we aren’t allowed to give out information about residents or their guests in the dorms,” the worker says.
Haley’s eyes wander to the guest sign in book sitting next to the student and she quickly closes it.
“Please,” Haley says. “He’s only 14 and ran away from home. He’s on probation and if I have to call the police they’ll take him to juvie. He thinks he’s mature but he’s not and I’m terrified about his safety.”
The two workers look at each other.
“Minors can only visit during the day but...” one worker explains, “Three Hombres is a popular 24 hour Mexican restaurant near campus. You might want to go there.”
He knew the restaurant. He’d passed out in quite a few corona margaritas there in his twenties.
Haley drives to the restaurant and doesn’t even need to go inside to find them.
He spots Nova on a bench outside the restaurant. His legs are wrapped around the waist of Lev, the boy from Instagram. They are whispering and kissing over an Three Hombres XXL Margarita to go cup. Instagram boy has his hand up Nova’s shirt, making small circles on his back. Haley recognizes the midriff baring shirt and rose gold navel piercing as his own.
Haley steps out of his car and slams the door. “That’s enough. Get in the car.”
Lev takes Nova’s hand and steps up to Haley aggressively. “What the fuck, dude—”
“Whoa, that’s my dad,” Nova says, standing up to get between them before turning his attention to Haley. “ I’m not going back if Luce is there. He hit me—”
“Fine. I’ll make Luce leave.” Haley says. He just needed to get him home. “Whatever you want. It’s late and I know you don’t have anywhere else to sleep tonight.”
Nova gives Lev an
apologetic look before walking to the car. Haley gives the older teenager what
he hopes is a threatening look before getting in the car himself.
“What the fuck, Nova ? Do you not remember what happens if you get caught drinking on probation—”
“Oh my god, you sound like Luce. I wasn’t fucking drinking! I was just hanging out at the stupid party and some older kid spilled a beer on me.”
“You don’t smell like beer.”
He shrugs. “How the hell should I know what beer smells like—”
“How long have you been selling your meds ?”
Nova says nothing and in his peripheral Haley sees the glow of Nova’s phone. He was tapping out a long text to Levi. Haley attempts to snatch the phone from him but Nova shoves him away and the car swerves before Haley quickly rights it.
“You and I need to talk. And you can stop texting that boy because he's too old for you.”
“He is not! He just turned 18 and he's a virgin too.”
He’d wanted Nova to be comfortable talking to him about anything because he wanted him to be safe but the statement makes him nearly veer of the road again.
“It doesn't matter. You are not allowed to see him--”
“But Daddy, I love him.”
Haley turns in horror and Nova balks. “Oh my god, Dad I'm kidding. We are literally the same difference between you and Dad—”
“We’re adults—”
“So, what ? I’m going to be a totally different person in four years ?”
God willing Haley thinks. “We aren't discussing this. You are not allowed to date. Now, how long have you been selling your meds ? I need to know so we can get you back on them.”
“I'm not selling them. Some of the AP and Honor kids I know really need Ritalin for school and shit. I don’t need it like that so I was just going to give it to them for like free but they wanted to pay—”
“Nova, baby, you can't just go unmedicated like that ever again. You have to know that. You were this close to being diagnosed as bipolar. And Luce's pain meds are dangerous and addictive, you could have killed someone—”
“Half of them are just sitting there. There are people who really need it and can’t get it I was just helping—”
“Next time tell me if someone needs help with medicine and I’ll connect them with someone at the hospital. What the fuck, Nova ? I don't think I can trust you ever again.” Haley turns the car off in the condo parking lot. “I have been on my feet for hours, I missed dinner and I'm exhausted. I want you to go inside, take a shower, drink a glass of Pedialyte—”
“Why? I never get hangovers—"
“Excuse me ?”
“Um, nothing,” he mumbles and Haley chooses to
ignore it.
“Not a word to Luce. I don’t want anymore
fighting. We'll talk about punishment in the morning. Any questions ?”
He gets an eyeroll in response before they go inside.
---
“There is a college boy.” Haley had told Luce to go back to bed when he and Nova came in but when he walks into their bedroom Luce is still awake and Haley is glad because he wanted to unload.
He'd supervised Nova getting ready for bed and hadn't left his side until he was sure he was sleep. The entire time his head was swimming. He knew he needed to send Nova away but his options were limited.
Haley sits on his bed and takes out his phone. “I'm calling my sister. We need to get Nova out of the city and away from this boy and his friends for the rest of the summer. Isla is always complaining she never sees him, I’m sure she’ll take him for a couple of weeks—"
“Lex, babe, wait I—”
“She just bought that condo and needs help with all kinds of things. She won't put up with his bullshit and can put him to work for every hour she spent in labor with him. She'll love that. I'm calling, it’s like 8AM there—"
“Lex,” Luce repeats. This time his voice is firm. “I need to tell you something, I was waiting up to tell you when you got off work but then…all that just happened.”
“What now ?,” Haley demands. His anxiety spikes at Luce’s distressed face. “Just tell me. Is something wrong with Isla ?”
“She’s fine—well, I actually don’t know,” he says. “A letter came in the mail today from San Quentin. Your brother died.”
Unexpected tears prick at Haley's eyes. He hadn’t thought this day would come or, if
it did, he assumed he would have some notice. That it would be on the news. His
heart races and he can’t even bring
himself to look at Luce. He stares at his blank phone screen.
“Did they…they executed him then ?”
“No. Cancer,” Luce corrects. “How come I didn’t know you had a brother ?”
----
Me: Alright, we are in the home stretch of this serial, we just need to slide into two more years so let's wrap it---
CPShawna: Remember Haley's brother in prison we mentioned in chapter 1 ?
There is a passing mention of the medical fetish community in here because when I was drafting this there was the news story about the medical fetish supply website donating a bunch of their PPE stuff to hospitals early in the pandemic.