RAW TRANSCRIPT

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Roxie: …bop-bop-bop and mics are on! Oooh, the acoustics are fuckin’ great in this room--la,la,laaaa--

Haley: This is Sara—my mother-in-law’s room. She’s in Japan with Jean and her granddaughters for the next three weeks. I almost sent Nova with them but social services has been up our ass—

Maverick: Dayum—

Haley: Turns out the dumb shit people say online has real life consequences. Social services got twenty one out-of-state reports about me. The cops came twice and you—

(door opening)

Nova: (whisper) Hiiii. I made you cookies.

Roxie: Ooooh!

Maverick: We’re getting VIP treatment today, huh Rox ?

Nova: Um, these ones are regular um, chocolate chip but these ones I put chocolate, peanut butter, Oreos and M&Ms. And I put Nutella on this one.

Maverick: Oh my god…(chewing)Haley, I’m serious this time. (licking finger) I might just take him--

Nova: I just found the recipe on the back of the chocolate chip bag. There are so many recipes on bags and stuff. I can make anything now—

Maverick: Awesome. (chewing) Hey, (chewing) how are you holding up with all…this ? Kids at school giving you a hard time ?

Nova: Oh, it’s whatever. Ummm...I go to online school and my friends aren’t on Twitter…me and my friend Brixton are doing community theatre. We’re doinggggg…Shit! I keep forgetting the name of the play. Anyway, it’s a  Shakespeare one which I thought would be hard but it's kind of cool because uhhh, that's a pretty lamp—anyway so the other day  we were at rehearsal and we all ended up talking about like cancel culture with our director. It was like being in—

Haley: Okay, sweetheart we have be respectful of Maverick and Roxie’s time. Go clean up the kitchen. I’m sure you left it a mess—

Nova: But I wanted to be in the interview too…You said I could be—

Haley: No, I didn’t. I said you could be in the condo while I—

Nova: But I—

Haley: Nova. You’re not listening. Please clean up your mess and then go and do your schoolwork. Okay ? Please ? Thank you, I love you.

Nova: Can I watch YouTube while I do school stuff ? Please, please, please ?

Haley: Why don’t you just listen to one of music or one of your audiobooks ?

Nova: (teeth sucking) (spectacularly teenage whine groan combo)

(door closing)

(pause)

Maverick: (amused chuckle) You didn’t tell me teenagers baked cookies!

Haley: We had to take his phone and block the internet when all of this started getting out of hand. He can also take apart a semi-automatic and play Texas Hold ‘Em three ways which…I’m sure is going to bite us in the ass.

Maverick: (soft chuckling) Holy shit, I kinda love that.

Roxie: ‘kay. Are we ready boys ?

Maverick: (hand clap) Leggo, bitch.

Roxie: Alright , let me test the mics one moooore…okay…3…2..1..and

(Editor's Note: Insert Bang Sesh Intro Music)

Maverick: Hi Loves, this is Bang Sesh with Maverick. This is going to be a different kind of episode because I’m talking to my good friend Angel aka Alex Haley aka (snort-laugh) hashtag Hot Nurse Dad ? Which…okay, Twitter. A totally adorbs  photo of him went viral and there’s been some insane fallout that we are going to address. If you don’t give a shit about any of this, that’s cool. You can skip this episode.

I’m going to be asking questions sourced from social media and we’re going to try to keep this audio as raw and unedited as possible. There will be no ads on this episode and I won’t make any money off it so stop writing that tweet. Okay ? Good.

Hi, Angel, er, Haley, whatever. Thanks for letting us crash your house. I know you told me you turned down interviews for People, The Real and Kelly Clarkson for lil’ ol’ moi.

Haley: (short sigh) I just don’t want to draw anymore attention to this. I figured doing this will directly speak to people already involved without involving anyone new. The attention was nice at first but...we need it to end.

Maverick: Your son and husband got pulled into this too but they will not  be in this interview, correct ?

Haley: Well, my son is a minor so…of course not…and my husband doesn’t have—there were very untrue things said about him but he wasn’t—he has a small circle of people who know the truth and that’s all he needs.

I just need…okay first of all, I’m not ashamed to have been in porn or…a sex worker. But it's also not something I put it out there, especially the prostitution stuff and—

Maverick: But I mean, this is Nevada. It was legal sex work in a legal brothel on Boy's Night—

Haley: Well, yeah…except one time I walked with a guy to his car for the money and that was technically illegal and I got fined by the police.

Maverick: That's so like...technical. I mean I used to do it the old fashioned way  and it’s dangerous but not like…a moral failing.

Haley: I know…I mean…I never saw it that way because everyone I knew did it. And like—look—I know those Harmony videos have some fucked up shit. I get the backlash about the content… but what I don’t think I deserve is having those videos  shoved in my son’s face or sent to my employer like some smoking gun.

Maverick: Right, yeah, so there were some open letters circulating

Haley: Yeah, and while we’re talking about it, those 12 drug possession charges at my address have nothing to do with me or my family. I live in the city, on a very public street. This building has been here since the 70s and there used to be a lot of drug deals. There hasn’t been one since the 90s.

 Maverick: Have you been fired ?

Haley: I haven’t been fired, but, well l (forced laughter ?)…we should have had wine for this! I’m currently on a week of unpaid leave because when I did those videos for Kinkly I technically violated a moonlighting clause in my contract. I still have a job and I’ll be going back in a few days. I appreciate the support but no one needs to tweet or e-mail my employer. For people who think I shouldn’t have a job well,…my record speaks for itself.

I’ve said and done some stupid things….um, you know that. But I’ve always taken my career seriously. I love being a nurse and I intend to continue doing that. I know people don’t like porn…I get it. Especially now that it’s so easy for young people to access. But it paid for my school, my son’s birth and some of my husband’s medical bills.

Maverick: Wish it was still like that, now a bitch has to hustle. Kay, babe…. Let’s move on to the reddit post by janedoe—oh—I wish I could show how your face changed. It was like—

Roxie: Storm clou—

Maverick: Yes, storm clouds

Haley: Well, that fucking bitch—

Roxie: (mouth clicking) Whoa! Cut, cut, cut. Mm-mm, hon. I’ll cut that for you

Maverick: Yeaaah, might want to tone it down, babe.

Haley: This whole thing pisses me off. We hired Imogen, paid her super well, and she lied about me because I fired her.

Maverick: This is your chance to talk about it and flip the narrative but you can’t come off aggressive. Pretend like I just asked you about it and we’ll take it from there.

Haley: Fine. So, I know who wrote that reddit post and I wish I could call them out by name but I’ve been told if I say too much about her identity that could be…doxing ? Do you know what that—

Maverick: Oof. Yup. Been there. So, in this reddit AMA one of your former nurses--

Haley: Right so, first of all Imogen (Editor’s note: replace Imogen with ▬▬ ) was not Luce—um, my husband’s name is Luce in case people don’t—anyway she wasn’t his nurse. She was a personal care aide.

She has a bachelors and associates in nursing but she’s never  practiced or taken the licensing exam. And I’m not bashing…I mean that’s a fact.

I, by the way, am nurse. I’m an LPN not an RN which is why she couldn’t find my license. But I guess people know that because they found my licensing number to report me to the Nursing Board…anyway, the nursing program I went to ran out of money because of all the more affordable online programs. It wasn’t unaccredited like she said.

Maverick: Right.

Haley: And I was shown tweets where former CSN students said she’d emailed them about Luce's health. That was not her job. Who does that ?I’m not even sure where she—how she came up with half that other bullshit.

Yes, he is on the spectrum but he is aware. Luce had a massive stroke while he was driving and…I mean you know, Mav…he almost died and…it was a really hard time for us that we don’t like to talk about. It broke him emotionally. His right side is partially paralyzed from the stroke and he has chronic back pain and weak leg muscles so he uses a wheelchair. His car accident happened in Spring 2007…I can send you a link to an article about it if anyone needs proof.

Maverick: I can put it with the show notes but fuck, I mean,  I remember hearing about it…scary shit.

Haley: It is. And that kind of brain trauma never...heals (deep inhale) He’s suicidal, which is scary to me…so (deep inhale) for her to imply I (pause) (pause) had some--(deep inhale) something to do with it is---

Maverick: Do you need a sec—

Haley: I’m fine. We hired Imogen (Editor’s note: replace Imogen with ▬▬ ) to help him with his medication, be there if he had a seizure and drive him to rehab. That’s it.  She never did anything extra. She came 4 hours a day and  we paid her above minimum wage and she had a lot of down time, which we were fine with. It worked. Then um, Luce’s brother and sister-in-law passed tragically…I think that’s pretty much public knowledge

Luce  has clinical depression….he got in a bad depressive episode and  I relied on Imogen (Editor’s note: replace Imogen with ▬▬ ) because I was helping plan…you know…everything that goes with such a tragic event.  Having Imogen (Editor’s note: replace Imogen with ▬▬ ) was supposed to make it easier but she somehow thought suddenly being asked to help with more personal care was demeaning ? She ignored a lot of issues. It just sucked and I was drained and she was hurting more than helping so I let her go—

Maverick: She talked about her last day—

Haley:   I got frustrated. I was already working a lot of overtime because we had to take out some loans for IVF…which is expensive but not as expensive as it is with HIV-infected sperm. Which is why originally Luce donated sperm  not me.

Maverick: Uh, Okay ?

Haley: She accused me of forcing Luce to donate sperm. It was a financial decision.

Roxie: Girl, I feel like you are seconds from pulling our receipts and I love it.

Maverick: Back to the last day ?

Haley: I came home from a 24 hour shift and Luce was in pain from a badly infected feeding tube. She’d just given him strong pain meds and stopped trying to feeding him instead of…fixing the problem. But without food his other meds…literally rip up the inside of his stomach so I had to force him to eat.

That night I had to—(clears throat) uh, go to the  place where— the uh, (pause) to the  crematory to pick up the ashes—  It was closing so I had to leave and um…and I told Imogen (Editor’s note: replace Imogen with ▬▬ )  I would have a nurse practitioner friend call in an antibiotic prescription and I’d pick it up and he’d be fine. I told her not to move Luce until I got back.

Less than an hour later my son calls to tell me she took them all to the emergency room and I later find out she’d put a bunch of shit wrong on the admitting documentation…I was getting very little sleep at the time and you know how I get when I get frustrated…I was a little emotional. I snapped.

Maverick: So you fired her ?

Haley: Luce made me give her multiple chances before that point. She wasn’t comfortable with what we needed from her and I took away her letter of recommendation because I thought she needed more practical experience…I was annoyed with her…But if she hadn’t done this I would have still helped her. And the worst part is she’s admitted some of her Reddit post is wrong to Luce verbally but won’t make the correction online and more people are finding it.

Maverick: Do you want to talk about the other stuff with you and No—your son ?

Haley: No. I hug my son and I kiss him on the cheek and tell him I love him and she turned it into something bad…it hurt to be accused of those things. All I’ll say is the state has cleared me.

And I think it’s worth noting  Imogen (Editor’s note: replace Imogen with ▬▬ ) —oh, shit I've been saying her name. Well, you can just bleep it. Or not, I really don’t fucking care--But she is the only one who has raised money off this.

Maverick: There was one more big accusation….ummm, I’d almost say a less serious one but we have to go there because my little drama loving corner of the internet has blown it up. So, let’s do this. Are we having an affair ?

(pause)

Haley: We’re not doing this. I don’t want to talk about us.

Maverick: (frustrated sigh) If I don’t ask, people will think I’m soft balling.

Haley: No matter what I do Nova is going to  find a way to listen to this…I don’t want him to know you and I actually dated. Nova was scared  I was going to divorce Luce for cheating with Imogen and he just shut down when I tried to explain we had an open relationship. You know how he looks up to you. I just don't want to... (tired sigh)

Maverick: All right how about this ? I’ll ask again and we’ll just play it off like a joke, keep it loose and I’ll spin the conversation to the leaked pictures and get on my consent high horse

(pause)

Haley: Yeah… okay.

Maverick: ‘kay…Have we had an affair ?

Haley: (surprisingly genuine fake laughter)

Maverick: (joining in on laugh) I have to ask. So, let’s get it out there

Haley:  I mean, you’re very cute but…not my type

Maverick: I’m wounded over here now !

Haley:  I don’t see you like that…you’re a baby—

Maverick: Okay, daddy—

Haley: (laughing) Fuck you!

Maverick: (scream laughing)Sorry, sorry, sorry... oh my god (catches breath) But, seriously, it’s bullshit people don’t know two men can be friends--

Haley: Yeah, I mean you are genuinely one of my closest friends…I have pictures of us together like 15 years ago—

Maverick: When we were in middle school together, right ?

Haley: (Affectionate Laugh) Right. You’re my friend and I’m proud of what you’ve built and one of the perks of being your friend is going to your…adult themed events.

Maverick: And I know pictures of you at my events were posted online and…I do feel responsible for that because it was people I considered colleagues. To take the time and look though every picture on your phone for something incriminating and then using a clickbait-y title is just…I love my little community but it’s so competitive. And it’s like when you see one person do something and get views…I feel like other people join the bandwagon instead of making good content—

Haley: I’m pissed about it…but I don’t blame you. I mean…you can’t control what other people do—

Maverick: I still want to apologize on their behalf. I would just like to say I love how a lot of them conveniently cropped out your husband from photos. Like those old one with the nurse—

Haley: Yes! That stupid fucking nurse outfit! And we didn’t meet at that 2013 BDSM convention in Anaheim like people seem to think.  I was at that convention helping Luce re-launch his company at the vendor booth and like no one there knew that I used to be in porn…  I was always like within 3 feet of him and like if you zoom in on the badges we had the same vendor badges…but, I guess that’s what I get trying to be cute—

Maverick: You wore that outfit, hunny—

Roxie: —Total booth babe—

Haley: —What is that—

Maverick: And like, your hair is just...hashtag goals and your clothes are always super cute. You’ve helped me get dressed for events and photoshoots. You’re just that friend. It’s not a scandal. And we’ve done non-sexual play—

Haley: No, no, no. TMI, back it up—

Maverick: Okay, okay, okay. People know what I do for a living so, okay. I just, can we talk about how you were on your knees next to me in a photo and people thought you were giving me a public BJ ?

Haley: Ugh. definitely not my kink--

(door closing in distance)

Haley: Did he just leave--uh, sorry hold on—

(room door opening)

(rushed footsteps into distance)

Haley: Nova ? (Door opening in distance) Nova!….Where do you think you’re going ? Come back here.

Nova: I’m just going to the corner store to get gum, I’ll be right back. Do you want any--

Haley: I didn’t say you could go anywhere. You know better than to leave without permission. The rules haven't changed.

Nova: Luce said I could—

Haley: I don’t care what Luce said. Did you even do what I told you to do ? No, you didn’t. Why is the kitchen still mess ? And your laptop isn’t even on! What the hell have you been doing all this time ?

Nova: I need gum to help me concentrate…It’ll be five minutes. You can even time me.

Haley: No, come back inside—

Nova: What the fuck, Dad ! You never let me fucking do anything—

Luce: Nova. It’s too early for this, kid.

Nova: But you just said I could go! Tell  Dad you said I could—

Luce: You didn’t tell me Alex asked you to do something first.

Nova: I was going to do it when I got back. I’ve been so good this week. This is bullshit!

Haley: Being good and doing what you’re supposed to do doesn’t mean you get to break rules—

Nova: Oh my god,  I wasn't! This place is worse than when I was in actual fucking jail!

(pause)

Haley: Well, congratulations, Nova. Now you’re actually grounded. Which means you’re not going to theatre rehearsal today.

Nova: No, I have to go today!  Ms. Heather is counting on me, we’re doing spotting and--

Haley: I don’t care.

Nova: But (broken sob) why ? I didn't do any--

Haley: You keep talking back to me--

Nova: Y-y-y-ou’re being mean for no reason. You already embarrassed us and I was fine with it and I didn’t get mad or anything! And I said nice stuff about you to those government people. Why do you have to be act like such a fucking asshole—  

Haley: Excu—

Luce: NOVA. GET YOUR ASS OVER HERE.

Nova: No—ow! You’re hurting me--

Luce: No I’m not—

Haley: —Luce, let him go—

Luce: —Nova. Look at me. Stop with the tears. I said look at me. (pause)  If I ever hear you call your father a fucking asshole again you will no longer be living in this house. I’m not listening to that kind of disrespectful shit come out of your mouth. Do you understand ?

(soft crying)

Luce: Nova.

Nova: (sniffling) Okay.

Luce: Apologize.

Nova: (sniffling) I’m sorry, Dad.

(pause)

Nova: Dad ?

Haley:  Go to your room

Nova: Seriously ? (soft crying) You have to accept my apology—

Haley: I don’t have to do anything. Please get out of my face.

(frustrated scream)

(stomping)

(loud door slam, hinges rattling)

Luce: NOVA.

(muted Billie Eilish music playing loudly through door)

Luce: Jesus, Lex. Kid’s been crawling up the walls all week trapped in the house without his phone. Why couldn’t you just let him walk around the corner ?

Haley: What’s happening ? Are you seriously taking his side?

Luce: No. What he said was wrong. I backed you up but you’ve been bitching at me for weeks and now him. You need—

Haley: No, Luce. You don’t get to tell me what I need to do until your stupid whore takes down those lies about me. Then I can go back to work like normal and you two can go back to doing fuck all. And by the way, if Nova says you’re hurting him, you stop—

Luce: He was overreacting, I was barely holding him—

Haley: I don’t care. Or do you want him to learn he’s only in pain when a man tells him he is ?

Luce: Don’t put that on me—

Haley: I SHOULDN’T HAVE TO TELL YOU THIS SHIT!

(pause)

Luce: I'm sorry. I don’t want to fight, Lex—

Haley: Is that your new catchphrase for the last few weeks? We’re not fighting! I'm allowed to not be happy all the time. While I’m on leave you just need to run anything Nova does by me so we’re on the same page. Okay ?

(pause)

(pause)

(kissing sounds ?)

Luce: Can you…come help me take my meds ?

Haley: I gave them to you while you were sleeping like I did yesterday, remember ?

(pause)

Luce: You know my memory is shit. Is Maverick here? That was today, right ?

Haley: He and Roxie are in Sara’s room. I’m trying to save my fucking career--

Luce: I’m going to lie back down for a few minutes

Haley: It’s already past noon. What’s going on?

Luce: …feeling a little sick. I need to smoke—

Haley: Smoke what ? I told you to get rid of all that shit. CPS might do a search next time—

Luce: The pills they gave me don’t work the same---

Haley: Let’s try that narcotic you got last week and a Xanax, better yet we can split the Xanax…and you know what I need a break from Nova. You can tell him he can go to theatre today…you can be the good guy. I feel like fucking shit toda…

(footsteps into distance )

Maverick: (awkward laugh whisper) Rox, did you pick that up ?

Roxie: (quietly)Yeah, already on the cutting room floor. Holy fuckin’ shit

Maverick: (quietly) Holy fuckin’ shit.

(Approaching footsteps)

Haley: Sorry, if you heard…any of that.

Maverick: No, you’re good—are you…do you need to—

Haley: No. It’s fine... Nova’s so sweet but at least once a month he’s acts like a fucking demon. And…I just…he only listens to Luce and I just don’t know… I think he’s been emotional over this whole thing…ugh. Okay! Where were we ?

Maverick: Um, we good Rox ?

Roxie: Uhh…We’re picking up Nova’s music—eh, nevermind I can edit it out.

Haley: I can make him to turn it down—

Roxie: No, no, no!—I can edit it.

Maverick: If it would make Nova feel like he’s getting his voice heard in all this you can do a separate interview with him and I can put it in the end. It sounds like you guys have had to have some conversations and it might good for people to hear how you have those conversation.

Haley: I doubt I’m a good example. You know Charlotte would have been great at this…she always knew how to talk to the girls about what she and Jean did. I never thought it would come up with Nova and I…and if it did I didn't think he'd ever see the explicit stuff.

Maverick: Yeah

Haley: Anyway, I don’t want Nova to feel like he has anything to do with what happened. It was all my fault.

Roxie: I mean…it was his Instagram picture

Haley: (scoff)

Maverick: Uh, I don’t know…do you blame him? Maybe that's why you two have been...

Haley: No…(bitter laugh) (frustrated moan) Nova didn’t even pick that stupid fucking picture to go up on the hospital’s Instagram.

Maverick: Wait…that is a good question. How did it end up on the hospital's Instagram if it was on Nova's account ?

Haley: Me. He didn't even like the picture. I asked our social media director to use it…and not because it was a good picture but because (deep sigh) everything was shitty and I wanted other people to see us together and think we were this perfect, beautiful happy family. It was so fucking  important to me and then when it went viral and people thought we were so great and …I liked it. Maybe too much. Because I care  what people think about me. And then  it blew up in my face. Lesson learned.

Maverick: …you didn’t  know it would go viral and that people can be raging assholes

Roxie: Yeah…so I’ll cut that and we can start with another question.

Haley: No. You can keep it…what I just said. I want people to know that whatever happens next I accept responsibility for.

---

A/N

Technically over 10K chapter! 🙌

So, I made a mistake in here. The website Kinkly.com is a real blog I use for research. The fake website that Haley works for in an earlier chapter is called Kinked.com but when I noticed this mistake I was too far in to change it.

CP!Shawna: I think we made The Internet sound too vapid.

The Internet: