-1-

This is how I find The Box.

Minnow’s half naked body is shockingly cold on mine.

She is tangled up in me. Her arms are around my torso, her cheek against my hip and the rest of her is sprawled across my legs.

Nothing fun had happened last happened, she’d been too busy going around in a storm of self-hate to fuck around.

She actually cried and I didn’t know what to do with that.

And she wasn’t crying over  killing those Mjollner assholes. But because Sara had spent nearly an hour reminding  her loudly that everything we did to the Mjollner could affect baby Rias. Minnow babbled about baby coffins and shit  before crying herself to sleep.

Jean should be with her, but he’s staying with Luce at the clinic—who thank god he has a head so thick that Rayne’s private doctor said there was 70 percent chance he didn’t have a concussion.

It's barely 5AM and a light wind blows  through the open window and the curtains flutter forward and I notice the box  on the windowsill.

I slip out from underneath Minnow as quietly as I can. There’s a lovely message scrawled  in shitty writing on the box.

To the Bastard and his Whore.

I’m shaking in rage, but I don’t open it. I know it’s not meant for me.

Before she lost consciousness Perse had said she followed the Mjollner  here after they attacked the Luxor staff. This must have been why they were coming here.

Rayne was already in the process of moving us to a new safehouse because he didn’t like that the Mjollner new we lived here. I hate the idea of picking up and leaving Treasure Island because of them… it feels like giving in.

I push the box under the bed, because there is no point in waking everyone up just to upset them all over again.

I roll back into bed and spread out on the opposite side of the bed as Minnow.  I run my fingers over the muscles and tough skin on my body. I dig my fingers deep into my thigh, I’m close to bleeding before I feel anything close to pain.

I’m still not used to this body. Some of it was chemical, some cybernetic but mostly it was from brute work. A year and then some of me busting my ass for Rayne Washington and the cartel. For a while it was good, for the most part it was great—but thinking about that box I suddenly know what it means when old people say anyone younger than them believes they are invincible.  I didn’t think anything could really happen to me if I had Rayne and Sarah protecting me, but they can’t even keep their own kid safe.

I must go to sleep at some point because I have a dream that I find the box under the bed and some time has passed and when I open the box there is a very tiny crying skeleton inside.

 The nightmare bolts me from my sleep so hard Minnow wakes up too

“What ?,” she  says, she’s already reached over to the nightstand to pull out her pistol. I turn on the light and she watches me reach under the bed and recover the box.

When I go to open it, she puts a hand over mine.

“Don’t--”

But I have to. I flip open it and prepare for the worse.

Inside a christening gown.

***

“We will purge the entire Sprawl and then the entire Republic of those motherfuckers,” Rayne says from his seat at the head of the table.

Next to him Sara is threading her fingers through the christening gown looking at it like she’s never seen it. But the small name on the tag in her handwriting said differently.

We’re sitting in a conference room at the Mojave Knife Company headquarters.  To the outsiders it looked like Rayne was going about business as normal, hosting meetings. Not that there are many people in MKC headquarters that don't know where Rayne makes his real money

“No we won’t,” Sara says.

“Sara I said you would get a say in how we retaliate.” Rayne says.  “But I’ve  been fighting this fight while you--”

“You haven’t fought a damn thing,” she cuts him off.

It used to be uncomfortable to watch them fight, but now it was so common we all just wait it out.

“You’ve just added fuel to the fire, breaking down brothel doors and setting actual god damn fires.” Sara continues. “You're just as bad as Minnie.That’s the thing with you Rayne, you just want to win. You want to win against the Mjollner just like your father did with the  other cartels.”

“This has nothing to do with my father. The Mjollner provoked us, I refuse to let them continue existing,” he argued

“See, I don’t give a fuck about the Mjollner,” she says standing. “They can have everything. They can have control of the draft,  they can sell all the drugs and women they want.  I just want my baby back. And Alan is going to get him for me.”

She is standing right next to me now.  Her hand clamped on to my shoulder

“I am?,”  I ask dumbly because this is all news to me.

 She looks at me like I should be following her, but I have no idea where this is going.

“You’re going to infiltrate the Mjollner, Alan.”

No one says anything immediately so I do.

“How ? They could recognize me,” I remind her.

“Even better,” she says. “ Alan’s you’re still an outsider. You still have that rich collarboy look. If anyone recognizes you from the Cartel you say we treated you like shit and you left.”

“So,what then ?  He becomes some undercover Mjollner tagalong ?,” Jean says. “Whoever took our boy is probably in the top of their fucked up hierarchy.  You think Alan just joins and then they have a campfire where they spill all their secrets ?”

“I think you’re selling him a little short. Alan will be useful to them.” Sara says. “He’s a bodyhacking apprentice and he knows how to use a weapon. Better than the usual prospective knocking at the Mjollner door. ”

I look up at Rayne, waiting for his final decision. I don’t know if I want him to agree or not.

“Alan,” he says quietly  and it feels like the first time he’s ever used my name. “I will trust Sara's judgement. If you can do this. If you can bring my son back safely—or alive atleast I will be forever indebted to you.”

I know it’s been decided for me and it makes me feel like I'm drowning.

"Are you fucking insane ?," Minnow shouts from across the table. "Send me, Sara. Dakota has  been courting me for years to join him. I'm a sure thing, I'll do what needs to be done--"

"Don't be dense," Jean snaps at her. "You've been refusing Dakota since forever, he'll be suspicious."

"Not to mention those bastards rarely let women into their ranks--" Sara starts

"Fine. So send Jean," she huffs.

"They know where Jean's loyalties lie," Sara retorts. "Alan is our best bet."

Minnow cuts her eyes in my direction.

“I  don’t know if I can do this,” I admit.

“You can and you will,” Sara says. “Don’t worry, collarboy.  We're not sending you in unprepared.”

***

Rayne’s basement had been furnished into a very sad, unused playroom.  The décor is a mix of white and shimmery silver, there are oversized stuffed animals standing the corner of the room, rows of toy cars and dozens of overflowing toy boxes.

The Mjollner joygirl, Sage  is curled up on the plush sofa in a dress that is too big for her, her hair is messy and her eyes are red. When she hears Rayne, Sara and I come down the steps she stands.

“Am I going home ?,” Sage asks as one of Rayne’s bodyguards slams the basement door closed.

“No,” Sara tells her. “Not yet anyway. You are going to tell us everything about the new Mjollner recruits.”

Sage squints her eyes.

“Why ?”

“None of your god damn business,” Rayne barks. “You tell us what we want to know and you will be closer to going home.”

She sits and Sara sits down next to her and motions for me to sit too. I sit on the edge of the couch and turn on the recorder in my Sydnicate.

“Tell us how the Mjollner recruit,” Sara demands.

Sage cuts her eyes to me and then back at Sara.

“Why would I know ?  They just want my body. You should just ask Dakota-”

“We’re asking you. Now, give me a better answer,” Sara says sternly.

Sage closes her eyes and appears to actually be thinking about her next answer.

“They like people with money,” she finally says. “Maybe. Mjollner only like three things;  drugs, money and loyalty. ”

“Fuck that.” I tell Sara. “I could never give those bastards my loyalty.,”

“You will,” she says. “And then when we get Rias back you can tell them to fuck themselves. Tell me where  a prospective Mjollner would go ? ”

“The Stratosphere,” Sage replies easily. “There’s always Mjollner there. I went there when I wanted to join--”

“They approached you ?,” Sara asks

“No, I went to them--”

“What did you say ?”

“Nothing. I just got on my knees.”

“For who ?”

“I don’t know--”

“What did he look like ?”

“I don’t rememb--”

“Did you see him again ?”

“Maybe--”

“If you lie to us you will not make it out of here alive”

Sage looks at the ceiling and a tear falls down her cheek. She bites the inside of her cheek and looks past Sara at the wall.

"I'm not lying. I just don't know, we do a lot of drugs--"

“I’m not listening to anymore of this,” Rayne finally says and gestures to Sara and I. “I want to talk to you two upstairs.“

Sara gives Sage a threatening look before following Rayne upstairs. I follow behind her. He closes the door and turns on Sara.

“That whore doesn’t know anything useful and I don't need to hear that shit in my house.,” Rayne hisses. “We have other matters to take care of if we want to get this plan going.”

“She knows more than she thinks,” Sara says. “I’m not sending Alan in blind. If we can identify a few people Alan should interact with we can be prepared--”

“You also can’t send him in penniless,” Rayne adds. “We need to get together some money for him to take to them--”

“If there is one thing I know you are actually good for Rayne it’s getting large sums of money together.” Sara retorts.

“Times have changed," Rayne says cooly. "The RLA is auditing corporations to make sure we are complicit in the new RLA tax code. I can’t just funnel money  through the company without them noticing,” he says.  “I need you to run some small hacks to hide the unaccounted for funds.”

“Any baby hacker can create a dummy bank account or bond. You don’t need me,” Sara says folding her arms.

“That is exactly why I need you. My contact in City Department says the RLA have started poaching criminal hackers from the streets to help find fraud. I don’t want to risk a fuck up and them coming after me. ”

“God, Rayne what the fuck were you doing before me ?,” Sara snaps and then turns to me. “We’ll finish questioning her tomorrow. I think we can get you ready to go  in the next two days, so close up any loose ends.”

 

***

-2-

Time moves faster than I’m prepared for.

 I have more loose ends in this life than I thought.

I write a transmission to my parents explaining I won’t be in touch and not to worry. I try and sound more cheerful than I actually am about the whole thing. In case they get suspicious I make the route untraceable so they can’t detect where it was sent from. Of course I know my mom is a genius   so I also set it to send 36 hours after I’ve left.

 I drive all the way out to Blackbird’s and tell him I may be gone for the next couple of weeks or so. He doesn’t seem all that hurt by it. He is making me coffee while I explain where I’m going  (leaving out the reason why)  and when I finish he shuts off the coffee machine and heads for the stairs.

“You’re work will be waiting for you,” he says. “You know where the exit is.”

I don’t leave right away.

I go down to the lab and lean over one of the sensory deprivation tanks. It’s a clear  6 feet long human sized incubator filled with synthetic regenerative cell matter.

Persephone is lying inside the tank, her body almost completely covered in the beige-y viscous fluid. Several optic tubes  wind out of the tank and connect to a Holoscreen. The screen scrolls through her current condition.  I put a hand on the ice cold tank and drum my fingers over the glass.

“I’m sorry this happened to you,” I say to her.

Although she is  lucky to be alive.  From what I had seen the other day more than half her body had been scorched. One of Rayne's bodyguards had rushed her out here while Minnow and I were dealing with the Mjollner.

I don’t think being in the tank hurts, but she’s unconscious anyway. She’ll be stuck in the tank for the next few months until her body heals. I know she can’t hear me, but I’d read somewhere that people can retain information.

“Minnow killed the motherfuckers who did this to you, Perse,” I tell her."She got revenge for you."

This kind of cellular enzyme is  risky but it’s the quickest and cheapest way for her to get all the skin and blood she lost back. There is a pretty good chance she’ll get some kind of aggressive untreatable cancer at some point in her life but if she hadn’t been brought here she’d be dead.

“You were the only victim that survived those barbarians attack. Rayne knows who you are now. When you wake up, he’ll probably let you join.”

She doesn't look like herself. The long hair she was always so prideful over had been shaved off.

 “Sara is making me go undercover in the Mjollner. When I get the chance I’m going to do to all of them what they did to you. I’m so sorry this happened to you,”

 “Prince Charming!,” a high pitched voice says from behind me.

I jump and turn to see Minnow coming down the stairs and into the lab. Her eyes are narrow and she is glaring at me.

“You scared the shit out of me," I say lightly.  "What  the hell are you doing here?”

“Just getting my  tune up,” she says waving  the cybernetic finger she has in place of the one Rayne cut off last year. “This is such bullshit, you know ?”

“What is ?,” I say

“You,” she says crossing her arms. Her attitude seems different, somewhere between biting anger and surliness. “You are a fucking nobody, but you always get to be the hero. Alan Gray gets to save the baby and Alan Gray will avenge the pretty girl who got burned.  I mean you don’t even have to do the dirty work, but Rayne just fucking loves you.”

I wonder if she is trying piss me off, She knows how hard I have to work to get any respect since, as they like to say, I'm still just an outsider.

“Are you really doing this ?,” I say to her harsher than I mean to. “I’m going to be gone for the next few weeks and you want to pick a fight.  I didn’t choose to do this--”

“No, Alan you never choose.” she says. “I loved him so much. I took care of him. I should be going after him. You don’t have the balls to do what needs to be done when it needs to be done. I mean did you even love the baby, Alan ?”

“Shut up, Minnow,” I snap. “ Sara chose me because she trusts me. I’m accountable while you and Jean are always emotional and on drugs and screwing around with each other--”

“You motherfuck--”

“I’m not done ! ” I yell at her. “Don’t put my loyalty in question. This isn’t about Rias or me being chosen. You know I can get the job done. This is about you being jealous of Persephone.”

Minnow stomps over to the deprivation tank and peers inside at Perse.

“You are so fucking stupid. Yeah, I’m so jealous Alan,” she says rolling her eyes. “I’ve always wanted to be bald and living in an aquarium.”

“You know what I mean,” I tell her.

“This is not about that bitch,” She says. “This is about how I know you are going to fuck this undercover Mjollner thing up, but Sara and Rayne won’t listen to me. You’re going to get yourself found out and killed. I hope you know that.”

In a quick motion Minnow lifts her heel and kicks it hard against the tank, it is on wheels and the liquid sloshes inside and the walls reverberate. Perse’s monitor blinks purple and makes a chirping noise for a few seconds before everything settles out and goes back to normal.

“Minnow-”

“That was for her sleeping with you when we were together,” she says and heads up the stairs.

“Crazy bitch,” I say under my breath.

----

I decided to spend the next two nights camped out alone at Treasure Island. Everyone else was at the new safehouse in Mojave but I had to get away from Minnow and all of the  uneasy looks from Luce and Jean. I knew none of them thought I should be doing this, but it felt like the only decision.

The entire Cartel was on waiting on pins and needles for the next retaliation from the Mjollner but it never came. Which was even scarier.

The night before I restart my life again as a Mjollner I visit Sage on my own while Rayne and Sara are off doing something they didn’t feel like including me in.

She is sitting on the couch like she was last time, I think she must sit there all day. She’s watching the  some children’s toy project  a giant butterfly around the room.

“Hey,” I say as I descend the stairs.

She turns to look at me with an excited spark in her eyes.

"Am I free to go yet?," she asks.

“No, sorry. I just have a few more questions.” 

Her face falls and she doesn’t stand for me like she did for Rayne, I have my gun in my hand in case she tries to escape which I hope she doesn’t. I'd hate to have to clean up her blood out of the carpeting in a room meant for a  baby. But I'd do it if I had to. While we never told Sage our whole plan was to have me go undercover I’m sure she could put it together. And I know I’d have to shoot her before I let her escape to tell the Mjollner.

I sit next to her and pull up a screen with Sara’s last few questions.

“Please don’t record yet,” she says

“Why ?,” I ask

 “I just…wanted to say I’m sorry, “ she says softly.

“What for ?”

“For you.” she says. “You seem nice and this is going to be hard for you. The people here are like  a family.. the Mjollner are a cartel and they are brutal -”

“The Shy is a cartel,” I tell her.

“Not like the Mjollner.” she says.  I’m a prisoner and I’m sitting in a comfy  basement getting three meals a day. I heard the Mjollner keep their prisoners in caskets with airholes until they need someone for target practice. If they even take prisoners at all. If I were you I wouldn't do this.”

“I don't have a choice. You don’t understand half of what those pricks you open your legs for  did. I have to do this.”

“Have you thought about how that brunette bitch is going to react when you die ?”

I suddenly realized I have no idea what Minnow would do if I actually died.

“Minnow is not emotional like that. She doesn’t care if I live or die--”

“What if you have fuck another girl ? The Mjollner think with their dicks--”

“It doesn’t matter,” I snap. “Now let’s get back to the questions.”

Sage gives me a severe look. She rattled me and she knows it.

I turn the recorder on and look at the next few questions Sara had sent me.

"How does the Mjollner work with the RLA?"

"The military ? I don't know-- well, except," she says, but stops.

"What ?," I demand.

"Nothing really. Just sometimes the Consrciptors come to the lounge. Those assholes always have the craziest fetishes. Some are close with Dakota or the other Mjollner...I don't know if it means anything. If I were you I wouldn't bad talk the RLA around them...you may end up on the front lines."

"I'll remember that--"

"And if anyone offers you drugs just take them. They get really suspicious if you refuse. Most of the shit they give new people is weak shit and with a body like yours I doubt it will do anything," she advises me.

"What kind of security measures do they take ? How do they verify identity ?"

"Nothing I know of beyond security cameras. Most of the members and even the joygirls and boys use aliases anyway to throw off the blueboys--"

"So, your name isn't really Sage ?"

She shakes her head.

"Hana Anotonvich," she tells me looking down. Her voice gains a small accent on the last syllable of her surname. "Dakota decided to call me Sage. He said I needed something new to go with my new lifestyle."

"I take it Dakota wasn't born Dakota ?,"

She shakes her head again.

"But I have no idea what his real name is," she adds quickly.

"It can't be worse than Dakota," I mumble without thinking and she smiles.

"You may want start using an alias--"

"I kind of already am," I tell her although sometimes I forget I'm not Alan Gray

"If I were you I would use a name from the home country. The Mjollner was started by poor  families who fled the Soviet in the 20th century. They are more receptive to their own."

"Could I use your last name ? Maybe we are distant cousins ?"

"I suppose," she says. "One of my uncles married a neo-luddite and lives in a compound. He's estranged so I could very well have a distant cousin...you just need a strong first name."

She looks at me and her mouth twists.

"Mikhail is popular, but common," she says. "Sergei ?"

Her words all have hard g sounds and swallowed syllables.

"I'll never be able to say those names like you."

"How about Pytor ?" she says. "It's short and you just add a y sound."

"Pytor Antonvich ?"

"It's a strong name," she says with a smile. "If anything they'll respect it."

She's silent and I suddenly just want to touch her. Then I remember where we are. I'd let my gun go during our conversation.

I pick it up again and she shrinks back.

"Why are you suddenly being so helpful ?," I ask her.

"I  just want to get out of here," she says looking down. "I want to go home. I was just trying to help you all so I can go. Honest."

"That's that's not my decision," I remind her.  "Rayne is afraid you'll alert the Mjollner."

"Didn't I tell you about they were sadistic ?," she says urgently. "If I even tell them I  let you take me they'll kill me."

"Maybe I can talk to Rayne," I tell her even though I know I have no klout. "Maybe you could go with me--"

"Thank you!" she says and leans over to  hugs me.

The feeling of her breasts on my chest sends tingles up my spine and all my blood rushing down.

Her hand is right on  my thigh and she seems to notice where my thoughts are headed. Her hand crawls to my waist and I let it slip into my pants.I know in my head I shouldn't do anything with her, but sometimes all the mutated testosterone hormones in my body take over making me horny as fuck. I want to push her down and get it over with quick, but all I see are the stuffed animal eyes  in the nursery staring at me.

“Not here,” I whisper.

-3-

I pick her up and she gives a small shriek as I pull her  over my shoulder and carry her outside to the smashed up Peugot Onyx.

"It's  small in here," she giggles. "But I can manage--"

"Not here," I say

I drive to the new safe house, it's empty because everyone else is at MKC headquarters working on getting me the money and identity I needed for tomorrow. I carry her up to the bedroom that will be mine once I get back from this job. In an instant my clothes are off and so are hers, her body is soft and her skin is warm and she is present, kissing me, touching me and whispering into my ear.

For all her lies, her flexibility was real. She lies back down and extends her legs back until her feet are by her ears. I get on top of her and she smiles at me like I'm the most important person in the world to her.  Before I can enter her, her legs snap back and she rolls up with a short scream.

I turn to  see Minnow standing in the doorway.

Shit.

I hadn't closed the door.

Minnow slams the door shut and just stares. I can't remember if were together. I can't remember I'm supposed to care that she walked into this.

“Min--,” I start, but she closes the distance between us.

She gets on the bed on her knees and take my mouth in hers, kissing me possessively,  her hand pushing on the back of my neck so I can't come up for air. I try to make some sense of what was going on in her head, but she refuses to make eye contact with me. She's looking at Sage with daggers in her eyes.

"I'm sorry--," Sage quivers and makes to gather up her clothes

Minnow breaks away from me for a second and taking Sage's arm she pushes her until  she is lying flat on the bed.Minnow  takes a bag out of her pocket and sprinkles a neat line of sparkling black dust that extends from Sage's breasts to the center of her thighs.

Keeping her hand on my neck Minnow leans over  and starts to slowly lick the powder off Sage's body.

Sage makes a low sound as Minnow lingers at the end of the line of powder. Smiling, Minnow turns back to me and pushes her tongue to the back of my mouth. I feel the granules dissolves into a bitter liquid and I am instantly high. Stroking my neck she turns back to Sage licks the rest of the powder of her body and then puts her tongue in Sage's mouth.

Their lips connect aggressively.

Minnow keeps one hand stroking me, but watching them kiss pisses me off.

And also turns me on.

If it weren't for the fear in the back of my head that Minnow might start attacking us, I'm sure the  night would have been over before it started.

I pull on Minnow's arm and she turns back to me.

This drug is a good one, it gives me a mind numbing high, but also makes me horny as hell.

Throughout the haze all I feel is skin against mine. My body feel magnetized to whoever is closer to me. I know Minnow is on top of me at one point and then she leaves to get drinks and my arms are wrapped around Sage's thin frame and then Minnow has margaritas and I'm licking salt of someone's chest while someone is giving me a blowjob. When the margaritas are gone Minnow and Sage start to blur together into a mix of moans and laughter.

When the night is still at its darkest, the girls get tired and my high is wearing into a buzz. Sage must be sleeping curled up against my back because I have my arm around Minnow, pulling her tight to me chest. I'm spent, my eyes are heavy and my head hurts but I kiss her neck trying to initiate something because I'm not ready for the night to be over. Minnow shakes her head and tells me it's time to go to bed. 

In the quiet of the room I suddenly realize Minnow has been right about everything.

I'm not ready for this.

***

-4-

I'm woken up by the sound of people shuffling downstairs and the smell of coffee.  I'm on top of Sage and Minnow is sitting on the edge of the bed naked. I quickly move off of Sage, she shifts over, slowly opening her eyes.

"Wha-," Sage starts angrily and I notice she is tied to the headboard.

"Really, Minnow ?," I say, going for the knot, but it's tied too securely for me to loosen.

“I didn't want to risk her leaving. You have to meet Rayne and Sara soon so I'll take her back to Rayne's house.” Minnow says, slipping into a dress.

"I'm taking her with me," I decide in that moment.

"Does Rayne know that ?," Minnow challenges.

"He'll know when I tell him," I say, wondering where this word vomit is coming from.

"Oh, so now you call the shots ?," she laughs

"I'm about to go undercover as a Mjollner dog for him. I think I get to call a couple of shots." I tell her, wishing it didn't sound so arrogant. "I'll tell the Mjollner I broke her out. Maybe it will get me some points."

"Whatever." Minnow says. "But she stays tied up until you leave."

I turn to Sage and she just rolls her eyes before covering herself with the sheets.

Minnow walks out the door and I follow after her. I put my hand on her waist and kiss her sober for the first time in months, if ever. I want to remember kissing a woman if this is the last time I'll ever do it.

"Fuck you," she says

"I'll miss you too," I tell her.

She hugs me and I hear a slow clap from the bottom of the stairs. I look down to see Jean standing at the bottom of the stairs.

“Out with a bang, brother ?” Jean smiles. "Did not think you had it in you,"

Ignoring him I walk down the steps. I just want some coffee but I see everyone is sitting in the kitchen waiting for me.

Sara gives me a sidelong glance as she comes up to me with a syringe.

"This is your tracking device," Sara says sticking the needle in my arm. "It's biological and will need to be replaced every week, so we'll have to find a way to rendevouz," 

"I have a change in plans," I say. "I'm taking Sage with me. She can point me in the direction of the important people and she can corroborate my story. It's my only condition." 

Rayne seems angry at this change of plans, but he doesn't voice it.

"Fine." he says. "The car is ready. It's time for you to go,"

-----

A/N

Some of You: Gee, Shawna way to fade to black

Me: I can barely write a sex scene with two people, I didn't know where to begin with three.