I click on the link, hoping someone just found Juliana's arrest record for prostitution. But the comment links to a website called Pumpkin’s Patch: Adventures of an Innocent Teen Nymphomaniac.

A pop up video starts playing automatically. The video starts with a warning message on a black and white screen.

 ! PLEASE NOTE OUR CUPCAKE PROGRAM IS NO LONGER AVAILABLE !

The text fades to  the image of man whose name I know is Brad even though he doesn’t look exactly like the guy I glimpsed in Florida. He's wearing a wig that would be believable if it was just a little too long and shiny.He’s sitting on  the end of a bed in dark shades and a well fitted suit. The trendy looking bedroom around him is decorated with balloons and there’s  a box of cupcakes on the nightstand.

I stare at the girl who is sitting on his lap, straddling his thigh.

She’s wearing a small silky piece of  white lingerie and she’s sucking her thumb. Her hair is cut to her chin, she only looks at the camera briefly and her eyes are glassy. She looks young.

But, fuck it’s her.

Fuck.

“Welcome,” Brad says to the camera with satisfied grin. “To all of you who followed us here from the forums and our daily blog hello. And to all of you who have stumbled to our website, we’re glad you’re here. You can call me Dionysus and this… special girl is Pumpkin,”

He takes her thumb out of her mouth and she just stares at him. He stealthily pinches her and she leans down and kisses him.

He smiles like a douchebag and then turns back to the camera.

“As you can see, we have some balloons and cupcakes today because it’s Pumpkin’s special birthday, which means a lot of things, but mostly that it’s time for Pumpkin's first orgasm.”

He looks up at her again and she smiles at him.

“And she’s ready to lose her virginity,” he adds. “And a whole lot more, right Pumpkin ?,”

She buries her head into his shirt collar, he pulls her back gently by her hair and puts his fingers in her mouth. He fingerbangs her mouth and starts stroking her between her thighs until she is humping his leg.

“I like to see her sucking,” he says to the camera.  “But you really want a cock to suck on , don’t you, Pumpkin ?” he says to her.

She doesn’t react to his question and he replaces his fingers with her own thumb and turns back to the camera.

“Now, we’re not going to do anything fun with Pumpkin without getting some input from our friends. If you have some ideas about what you’d like to see her do you can join our Cupcake Program.

"1 cupcake is 39.99 a month and gets you  access to each video, A dozen cupcakes is 99.99 a month gets you the access to our live video chat sessions where you could decide what we do next. 2 dozen cupcakes is 199.99 and means Pumpkin will make you a custom video once a month, 3 dozen cupcakes are 599.99 gets you a custom video that we will keep private and 4 dozen cupcakes….well, you may just be a guest on our show.

“So, if you want authentic, tasteful, barely legal and entertaining virgin action join today,”

He ends the video by kissing and groping her.

My morbid curiosity is peaked. I knew she’d done something with this guy, but I never knew what.

Access to the website was now just  a flat 79.99 a month and 29.99 to download the videos, so I log in using the numbers from a credit card I’d cancelled when I was in college.

The website listed over 800 videos, the most popular one being the one where he takes her virginity. The camera is set up over his bed so it’s mostly her lingerie clad body in frame.

Brad sits on the bed next to her and claims he’s going to break her hymen with his fingers. I  knew it had to be fake, but her face scrunches up and she makes a soft whining sound when he puts his fingers in her. He starts rubbing her exposed, tanned, flat stomach and kissing her before fucking her on camera with some monstrous looking sex toy a viewer sent them.

She never speaks in anything other than whines and moans. She’s never completely exposed—she’s always has a bit of fabric covering herself and putting on a disturbing innocent little girl act. In some videos she looks drugged and in others she looks perfectly lucid. He doesn’t show close ups, but he shows enough. Brad never takes his own clothes off and he never does more than finger  her—he doesn’t even talk about sleeping with her or really clarify their relationship. Even though his wedding ring is clear in a lot of shots.

Most of the videos are special request videos from their members. Some of them were innocent requests of videos of her sleeping in specific outfits and in certain positions. Most of them were downright deranged with videos of her masturbating with certain things or on the toilet.  

One of the last videos posted has a low view count and it catches my eyes because it’s short and it doesn’t take place in the trendy bedroom.

It looks like they’re in a messy motel room and instead of the camera being on a tripod, Brad is holding it and the frame is shakey. His wig is gone and he’s wearing a faded t-shirt and has on a baseball cap and transition lens glasses that are still dark to hide his face.

“Get in the frame,” he barks  to someone behind him.

She pops up from behind him, she must have been lying on the bed, and rests her head on his shoulder. She’s not in lingerie but in shorts and a tank top that may as well be lingerie and for the first time she’s looking directly at the camera like a real person.

“Please remember these are role-playing videos,” Brad says in a quick, annoyed voice.  “We are both playing…like actors, I guess.. Right ?,”

He turns back to look at to her.

“Yeah,” she says. It’s the first thing she says in a video and I recognize the voice and the shut-the-hell-up-I-want-to-go-back-to-bed tone.

“Fucking cops,” he mumbles and she laughs as the video cuts out.

I click off the porn website and look back at the Topix posting. I wasn’t mad at her for doing what she did. I knew she did it for the money and she was barely 18-year-old and naive as hell when it happened.

But I was pissed a whoever this AnonymousBitchSlap asshole who decided to  post the link to Brad's website in the comment section.

I create an account on Topix to tell AnonymousBitchSlap to delete the link to the website, but I see someone beat me to it two days earlier.

Deacon63

This is a beautiful article about a family I love and care about. They have been through a lot and this picture is beautiful. We want to share this article with  family so  I want you to take  that vile link off this page. That video does not represent my lovely niece.

 

AnonymousBitchSlap

Lol, bitch yes it does. Check this  video of your lovely niece getting so horny she lets an old dude dry hump her outside of a strip club with other people walking by. Bitch loves dirty cock. She's disgusting !

 

Deacon63

Enough with the videos and pictures. Who the fuck are you ? What did she ever do to you ? Or not do to you ? What kind of sick bastard watches sites like this ? Be a better man and remove all of this now. It’s not funny. Come on, she’s a wife and mother now.

 

AnonymousBitchSlap

She put it out there, mothafucka I can post whatever I want. It’s funny ur getting so worked up over it. Are you the creepy molester uncle that she didn’t open her tight little teen pussy for ?

 

Deacon63

I don’t know who the fuck you are, but I know I can fucking figure out where you live from this computer and I’ll see what kind of bitchass mothefucker you are when you ain’t behind a computer. You don't know who you just stepped in the ring with, boy. If you don’t take this  disgusting shit down you better believe I will find your ass and put a bullet through your pathetic skull and fuck you in the ass with my fully loaded revolver until you bleed out and die. That is a promise. I better see these video links gone right now.

 

AnonymousBitchSlap

Here’s my favorite video of your lovely niece sucking a dick so hard she chokes on the cum and then swallows like a good bitch.

 

Deacon63

This comment has been deleted by moderation.

 

Deacon63

This comment has been deleted by moderation.

Deacon63

This comment has been deleted by moderation.

Deacon63

This comment has been deleted by moderation.

Deacon63

This comment has been deleted by moderation.

Deacon63

This account has been banned.

 

Deacon always took things too far with the death threats. I decide to create an account of my own.

 

RJC

AnonymousBitchSlap, this is not what I wanted to see today. I’m Juliana’s husband and this shit is libelous and something I’m sure my wife is very ashamed of. I love her and I know about this and have moved past it so you aren't making any points. Please remove it. I don’t care who you are or why you are doing it just take it down. Thanks.

I’m about to close my laptop when my e-mail chimes telling me there is a response.

AnonymousBitchSlap

It’s not libel if it’s true fucktard. She’s a little cumslut, so enjoy your sloppy seconds,bro and get checked ! After all those cocks is her  gaping cunt like throwing a hotdog down a hallway now ?

 

RJC

How old are you ? What are you some kind of stalker? Did she reject you ? Take these comments and links down or I’m going to come and help you take it down. Interpret that how you will.

 

AnonymousBitchSlap

Not a stalker, just  a truth teller. Don’t be mad you married a dirty slut.Your son is probably a fag so atleast she can teach him how to suck cock.

I slam the computer shut because I know I could get dismissed from the Coast Guard if I posted a death threat online and this fucker had me close.  I was getting Brad’s stupid website taken down and I was going find out who that little AnonymousBitchSlap asshole was.

 -2-

I don’t even bother to keep my cool, I must be glaring at everyone as I run to the bus station and just barely make it on my  bus back to Freeport. I start to think about what I’m going to tell her. The article was posted three days ago so she must know by now. I’d have to let her know I wasn’t angry at her, that I was angry at AnonymousBitchSlap and I had some idea who AnonymousBitchSlap was.

When I get to the bus station in Freeport I don’t see Juliana waiting to pick me up like usual. Part of me is worried and a part of me isn’t surprised. She was already struggling with school and I’m sure adding this wasn’t helping her. I could call someone to pick me up  but I decide to walk home and burn some energy.

It’s a 20 minute walk to the house and when I get to there  the truck is outside but I know immediately something isn’t right. A cold dread washes over me when I open the front door and it’s unlocked. We weren’t friendly with all our neighbors like in my old neighborhood and she always locked the door when I wasn’t around.

The minute I step inside the house I hear Mason whimpering. He’s saying Mama.

“Fuck,” I say under my breath as I take in the scene in the living room.

Our bedroom door is closed.

Mason’s sitting in timeout in his  playpen, his face is blotchy, his eyes are crusted in tears and his diaper had leaked all over the bottom of the playpen and it looks like he's thrown up on himself. He looks at me and holds his arms up, whimpering louder.

My heart beat rises faster and faster and  my field of vision narrows, but I remind myself not to panic. I quietly step outside and to the lockbox in the laundry room to  take out my gun in case someone pervert had gotten the wrong idea and broke into the house to assault her or...something worse.

With my gun in hand I walk quietly to the closed bedroom door, it’s quiet but I  kick open the door just in case.

The room is empty.

Except for Juliana.

She’s lying curled up in the bed  with her eyes closed. She’d fully dressed in jeans and a pink button up shirt. Her sneakers are still laced on her feet.

“JULIANA !,” I shout and shake her.

She feels warm. I start to check her pulse but her eyes pop open immediately. She starts screaming.

“Are you okay ? Did you take something ?,” I ask.

She keeps screaming and pulls away from me. I realize I still have the gun in my hand. I know it freaks her out and I throw it to the side.

“Juliana, baby, did you take something ?, Did someone attack you--Talk to me.”

“No--I,” she says and her eyes well up with tears.

"It's okay. I know about the videos. Just tell me what happened."

“Rhett. W—w-we went to Sing and Story Time at church and they told me….they told me we had to leave because I was going to be a distraction to the dads in the class. They said it in front of everyone and--I had to walk out and they all knew...”

“Are you fucking kidding me ?,” I shout at her as I realize what she is saying.

Then I snap.

Without thinking about it I had grabbed her and I was shaking her and she keeps repeating my name.

“THAT CLASS WAS YESTERDAY !” I scream over her. “Have you been in bed since yesterday ?”

“I was so tired, I just--,” she starts to say but is cut off by me pulling her out of the bed.

She fights back hard. She doesn’t want to leave the bed, but  I’m stronger. She kicks me in the groin, I lose my grip and she falls into the wall. Breathing hard and pissed off I grab a handful of her hair at the scalp and drag her her out of the bedroom and to where Mason was still whimpering in his playpen.

When he sees her he starts saying Mama and reaching for her.

“Look what you did to your son,” I tell her grabbing her face. “Look at him. You just fucking left him like this ? What the fuck is wrong with you ?  I know you're dumb, but I didn't think you were this fucking stupid.”

I let her hair go and she stands up to look at him with tears in her eyes.

She looks around at the living room and the kitchen like she’s never seen them before and then runs into the bathroom and locks the door behind her.

“Open the door,” I yell after her, banging on the bathroom door. “I don’t care how fucked up you are, J ! This is not okay. What the fuck, Juliana !"

I kick the bathroom door and I hear her start to cry. I also hear Mason start to cry louder.

I turn my attention and take him out of the playpen. He feels alarmingly hot.

Because she's locked herself in the bathroom with the bathtub  I give him a bath in the sink in the bathroom in our bedroom. He cries himself hoarse and fights me and  tells me no when I try and clean him off.  I don’t understand why he's acting this way until I see he has a blistering red diaper rash.

"Fuck," I sigh. "FUCK."

I clean it with cold water and  put cream on it and he  just  screams louder.

It takes an hour, but when he’s  finally clean I lay him down his bed and try to give him a teaspoon of Ibuprofen. He manages to knock most of it out of the spoon and on to the sheets. I let out a string of expletives I shouldn’t be directing at him. I eventually have to pin him down and force the liquid it into his mouth with a syringe we used when he was an infant.

When it’s all over I’m irritated and I’m sure the kid fucking hates me so I let him have a bottle and sit in the rocking chair with him until he goes to sleep. I usually hated how Juliana babied him, but I figured he’d been through enough.

I lay him on the couch and sit in the arm chair watching him while I call Cody.

“Hey, get over here. Bring your laptop--,” I say into the phone.

“Hey man, did you--uh is this about--,” Cody stumbles.

“Yeah,” I said. “Just get over here,”

I get up and go the laundry room and find the box of shit Raleigh had said I should keep from the UL trial. I find a copy of the plea deal that Brad had taken. I didn’t understand any of it, but all I needed was to find out his last name.

I easily find the Florida phone book online and I call the Bradley Johannsen listed in the richest zip code.

“Go,” he answers his phone like an asshole. Which tells me it’s the right Brad.

“This is Rhett Clark, I’m looking for Brad Joh--,”

“Yeah, this is he,” he says like I’m wasting his time.

“Well, I’m married to Juliana Clark and I want you to take your pedophilic garbage website down.”

“Excuse me--”

“Juliana Reese. God, did you not even know her real name--”

“No, I know who you mean. Julie.” he says, his tone bitter. “Just haven’t thought about her in years, she caused me a lot of trouble, she stole from me and the cops thought I was a child sex trafficker—”

“So, let me guess,” I say sarcastically. “You didn’t just leave a bunch of asshole comments on a Topix website ?,”

“Topix ?” he balks. “Please. I live in Miami. We have real journalism—but I can’t take the Pumpkin Patch website down anyway. I sold the whole thing to CyberSmash Productions. I’m out of that game. But she consented to everything on that site.”

“I don’t care about what happened in the past. Some asshole is posting that website all over the local internet to ruin her, so you need to tell someone to take it down or I’m going to start e-mailing those videos to all the boards you serve on.”

He does a huge sigh.

 I hear a knock on the door and see Cody looking through the window. I walk over to let Cody in.

“Look, Rhett—is that even really your name or is that like your porn name because of the accent ?”

“Yeah, it is my real name, Dionysus. I don’t do that shit, I have a real job.”

He sighs again and does a small laugh.

“ Look,  I literally can’t take the site down and you can’t just call me and  threaten me.  In the circles I run in people would worship  me for running a successful porn site. Look, you can try calling CyberSmash and have them take it down but it’s a multi-billion dollar porn company so good luck. There’s a lot of porn on the internet. People will move on. Trust me.”

“You've obviously never lived in a small town,” I tell him. “A lot of guys here are basically knuckle draggers. They’re going to make her life hell.”

“Please,” he says. “How old are you ? They’ll dog her for a bit and they’ll worship you like a king and then someone in your town will come out or something…if you want I can talk to her. I feel like we left things bad--”

“Over my dead body,” I said. “Don’t you have a son ? Let me talk to him--"

“Sure, but you’re going to have to call Dade County Jail to talk to that little shit. He’s been there for 4 months.” Brad says. “He didn’t know about any of it anyway.” 

I probably should have asked Brad to call me if he heard anything, but I just hang up on him and then make a note to change the number on the phone so he can’t callback.

 When I hang up, Cody looks up at me.

“That was the old guy in the—videos ?,” Cody asks.

I nod.

“So, you know him ?” Cody asks running his hand through his hair.

“Not really. He’s the reason Juliana was in jail. He arranged all these meet ups and basically started a prostitution ring and then when the pressure came on he turned over all the names—including hers in exchange for immunity.”

“Shit,” Cody says. “I thought she went to jail for dealing meth--”

“Well, that too,” I add

“I don’t think Dionysus is AnonymousBitchSlap anyway,” Cody says, picking up a piece of the cut up grilled cheese sandwich Mason wasn’t eating. “I think Anonymous goes to Yale University”

“Why?”

“I looked up his IP address,” Cody shrugs. "It's from Yale."

“Since when do you know computer shit ?,” I ask him

“You try being on house arrest for 7 months and sharing a laptop with your mama. You learn how to hide shit.”

“Then I really think I know who it is,” I say.

I log into Facebook and type the name Cortland and the college he went to for undergrad since I don’t know his last name. I’d only seen him twice, but I recognize his face, we even have a connection through someone that Amber knows but I don’t friend him. His profile is public and it shows he lives in Japan where he works on some kind of international hedge fund.

We look through his thousands of friends to see if any of them are at Yale, but they’re all past college.

“This are some rich sons of bitches,” Cody says scrolling through the photos of new cars, vacations and sneakers.

“How the fuck is this Anonymous idiot so hard to track down ?,” I ask. “How many people even go to fucking Yale ?”

“They could be a teacher or something,” Cody shrugs. “Or someone just using the school internet,”

“This is so fucking stupid,” I say under my breath. “Someone should pay for this besides her.”

“Is she alright ?,” Cody asks. He was probably suddenly realizing she’s wasn’t around.

“I don’t know,” I admit. “I just don’t like that they get away with this,”

“Well…so…you know the reason this blew up is because AnonymousBitchSlap’s Topix comment  was  posted on Facebook right ?” Cody says.

“I figured.”

“Well, I can tell you who first posted about it on Facebook and then tried to delete it.”

 

 

***

I dress Mason as carefully as I can. I should probably take him to the pediatrician but I wanted to wait until the rash died down. As angry as I was at her for neglecting him alone I didn’t want Juliana to get in trouble with child protective services.

When I put him in his car seat  he starts crying and reaching his arms out saying dada.

“Daddy’s right here,” I reassure him, kissing him on the forehead.

Cody gets in the passenger seat and Mason gets more riled up, calling for me as  we drive to Mama’s house. Savannah is the only one there, she’s sitting on the couch with her friend watching Breakfast at Tiffany’s. She was going through this weird Audrey Hepburn obsession. She even dyed her hair darker and got bangs.

“Hey,” I said walking in, carrying Mason who’d fallen back asleep just as we pulled up to the house.

"Can you watch him for a little while ? He’s not having a good day. I just changed him and he’ll probably just sleep the whole time.”

I take him into my childhood bedroom and lay him on the bed and turn the radio on. Savannah looks at me funny. Actually, she doesn’t look at me dead on at all which is  strange.

“Um, Rhett did you see--,” Savannah starts but I cut her off.

“I know,” I said. “It’s okay, I knew.”

She looks out the window and sees Cody sitting in my truck, bouncing up and down.

“What are ya’ll going to do ?,” she asks crossing her arms.

“You sound like Mama-”

“Yeah, well, last time you got mad at someone and left I didn’t see you for months--”

“I’m not doing anything stupid’,” I tell her, it’s mostly the truth. “I’ll  be back. Don’t get Mama involved in this,”

“Whatever,” she says

I get back in the truck and Cody makes a loud whooping noise.

“Just like old times,” he grins.

“Not like old times,” I tell him starting the truck's dashboard.“I can’t do that kinda shit anymore.I could lose my job.”

“Then what are we going to do ?”

“I haven’t gotten that far.”

We drive in silence to Southaven Baptist Church. It’s Thursday night so the church parking lot is mostly empty.  I park behind the 1999 black Mustang and we wait.

30 minutes later, when the doors of the church open I get out of my truck and start pacing in front of the Mustang.

“Hey,” I say casually as West and Amber approach the Mustang. She’s clutching a copy of The 5 Love Languages that has rainbow sticky notes between all the pages.

West tries to act cool when he sees me but he’s suddenly fumbling with his keys.

“Hey, ya’ll,”  Amber smiles obliviously. “How’s--”

“Is this really the kind of pussy you want to marry ?,” I ask Amber and her expression goes from pageant queen to ice bitch.

“Yeah, what are you shaking for, bitch ?,” Cody asks West, casually putting his foot on the back of West’s Mustang.

“Hey--,” West starts

“Cut it out, ya’ll. This ain’t high school,” Amber interrupts.

“It’s not ? Coulda fooled me. Your fiancé didn’t tell you what he did ?,” I ask her. “What he did to my wife--”

“H-h-hey, I—I---I didn’t… post those—those videos,” West stammers.

Amber frowns in confusion.

“I can’t hear you over all the stuttering, cousin.” I say standing close to him. We're close to the same height, but I have 30 pounds of muscle on him. “If you’re going to speak to me speak to me. Or are you going to let your girl do it for you ?”

“I didn’t post those videos of Juliana,” he repeats.

“I know you didn't, asshole. But you made sure everyone on Facebook saw that comment with the videos.” I tell him. “You just had to make sure everyone saw what you like to get off to--”

“No, I didn’t--I don't even--,” West starts.

“ Stop lying. You know what you did,” Cody smiled. “You deleted it your original post, but I have a screenshot of the cached page. You posted 'I am in shock and speechless. This is shameful.' and then linked to AnonymousBitchSlap's comment with a link to those videos”  

“Whatever,” Amber cuts in. “No one cares about that, anyway—“

“Apparently ya’ll care,” I tell her. “I heard J go kicked out of your dumbass story time singing class--”

“That wasn’t my call, other people complained,” she said. “And even if West accidentally posted it, he felt bad and deleted it.”

“He deleted it because he’s a pussy,” Cody says and he pulls his switchblade out of his pocket. He doesn’t raise it, he just turns it over in his hand.

“Is that a threat, Grady ?,” Amber says.

“Nah,” I said because I knew Cody would be a loose canon if he thought he was helping me. It was one of my favorite things about him. “He’s just about to put that away.”

Back in the day Cody and I were a couple of bastards. We would have threatened West with that knife, we would smashed his car windows, we would have gotten a few punches in but not too many because it wouldn’t be a fair fight. It would have been easy. I might have even forced Amber to kiss me just to rub it all in.

The only thing stopping me from doing any of that was the honor code I'd signed.

“You lied to everyone about her, Rhett," West said, finally finding some balls. “Where did you even meet her ?  How could you invite her into our family? It’s wrong and you know it. Even Nana knows about it now  and she’s too ashamed to come to her own church this--”

I step closer to him and I shove him into his own car. The alarm starts sounding.

“Shut the fuck up,” I growl at him.

“Back up--,” he says

“I said shut the fuck up. You can’t bullshit me, cousin.” I tell him getting close to his face.. “You don’t care about our family. If you did you wouldn't have made sure everyone saw the videos. You just wanted to humiliate me.. Well,  guess what ? Now, I'm going to humiliate you--”

“Rhett Clark I will call the police,” Amber says in her shrill voice. “Just go.”

“They don’t have to go,” West said shutting off the alarm and unlocking the car doors. “We’re leaving,”

“Let me guess, home to  cry to Daddy ?,”

I watch him opens Amber’s door and then get into the driver’s seat himself. Once the door is closed I take the switchblade from Cody and slash a line in the paint job as they drive away.

 

---

When I get back home Juliana is still locked in the bathroom and I just leave her. Cody and I  spend all night trying to find out who AnonymousBitchSlap is. We cross reference anyone who shows up in a picture with Cortland and if they went to Yale, we start looking through the Yale Facebook page but no one looks familiar so I give up on finding AnonymousBitchSlap for now. The damage was already done anyway.

The Topix page gets 300 more  comments. Most of it is people being disgusted, people arguing over if it makes her a bad wife/mother and then it devolves into creepy guys trading private videos of her. Then the entire comment section is taken down for too many vulgarities but it resurfaces later as a forum topic on the adults only page.

I don’t care what most people in town think, but I do care what my family thinks.

 I have to look my mother in the eye and watch her look of exasperation as I explain to her I knew my wife did porn. Deacon  makes me get blood tests and West’s dad actually comes to my house to preach at me about sins of the flesh and then tells me I have to pay for the slashing the paint on West’s car. Mama actually agrees with him.

I don’t tell anyone that Juliana locked herself in the bathroom and won’t come out. On the third day I finally take the bathroom door off the hinges because I needed a shower.  She’s sitting in the bathtub and when I tell her I need to take a shower she ignores me.

When he sees the door come off Mason comes in and tries to get in the tub with her but she pushes him away, so he stands at the edge of the tub repeating the word mama. His fever was gone and as long as I put cream on it every hour, his rash seemed to be hurting him less.

“Snap out of it, J,” I tell her. “Or talk to me. Or do something so I  know what I can do to help,”

She doesn’t respond, so I turn the shower water on her. She jumps and this makes Mason laugh. She steps out of the tub and walks out of the bathroom. I hear her get into our bed.

I shower and when I go into the bedroom they are both on the bed, he's asleep but she’s turned her back on him and her eyes are open.

She just stares at the wall for hours. I try and get her to eat by bringing her her favorite ice cream, I try making her laugh with stupid jokes, I try being the nice guy but it doesn’t work, so I try being an asshole. I throw cold water on her and it doesn’t work any better. I was running out of time. I had to go back to base.

“Hey,” I call to her in the middle of the night when I hear her coming back from the bathroom.

She’s still wearing the same clothes I found her in. Her hair was oily and starting to mat.

“If you don’t talk to me, I’m calling your Daddy,” I warn her.

She just lies back in bed in the same position.

When she doesn’t get up in the morning I bite the bullet. I don’t even have Daniel Reese’s number so I have to take her phone to call him. I go outside so she can’t hear me call, Mason follows me outside and starts pulling out the grass in the front yard to show it to me.

“Hello ?” Mr. Reese answers.

“Hey, Mr. Reese it’s me Rhett Clark.”

He pauses.

“Where is my daughter ?”

“She’s fine--I mean. She’s alive,” I correct.

Mason toddles carelessly into the street, I go after him and pull him back into the yard. He starts pouting.

“What did you do ?,” Mr. Reese asks darkly.

“Nothing,” I say. “Some shit got out about Juliana’s past got out and she’s not taking it well. She hasn’t taken  her medicine, she’s not talking and she won’t get out of bed. She’s not even taking care of Mason. I have to go back to base and I think she should go up North for a little bit. Can you come get her ?”

 “You think I can just drop everything and come there ?,” he scolds me. “If she were here where she belonged--”

I don’t listen to what he says next because Mason runs back into the street. I run back after him. I kneel down to his level and I’m ready to scold him, but I let it go.

 Figuring he just wants to go somewhere  I take his hand and we start walking the neighborhood. I notice a few of the neighors we pass give me unsteady looks as I wave to them.

“You know Mr. Reese we both love her,” I tell him. “I’m scared to leave her by herself. Why can’t we just work together for once ?”

“You want me to come down there because you don’t feel like being around my daughter anymore ? That’s not how marriage works. Maybe you need to take some time off work., Mr. Clark.”

Mason starts pulling on the hem of my shirt and saying dada again. I pick him up and he just starts crying. I put him down and he starts pulling on my shirt again.

“I can’t take time off,” I tell Mr. Reese. “I’m still in a probation period as a rescue swimmer, I have to get in all the training I can. It’s literally life and death and there is nothing I can do for her here…I think she needs professional help.”

I pick Mason up again and he starts whining and if Mr. Reese can hear it he doesn’t acknowledge it.

"They actually let you become a rescue swimmer ? I'm surprised you had the discipline." he scoffs

I bite back a smartass retort.

"It's not that point. Look, I get it's bad but  I work 3 day shifts and I just think it's better if she were away from here--"

“What did you mean stories got out about her past?,” Mr. Reese cuts me off.

“The kind no Dad wants to hear about his daughter,” I explain. “I don’t want to leave her alone. Can you please catch a flight ? I’ll pay.”

He pauses.

“Is this some kind of trick ?,” he asks. “I know you took some of the money out of Juliana’s savings account to renovate your house.”

I didn’t know what the fuck was wrong him. All he could see was me as a villain. We’d made that decision together.

“Mr. Reese, have I ever called you for help ?,” I say. “I’m desperate and trying to do the right thing.”

“I’ll leave tonight,” he sighs. “What about the baby ?”

The baby was practically 2-years-old, but I’d never heard Mr. Reese call him anything else but the baby.

“I’m going to leave him with my Aunt while I'm at work,” I explain.

“All right,” Mr. Reese says and hangs up.

 

***

-3-

I wait until Mason is asleep for the night before I put him in the car and drive him to Southaven. The kid was fucking relentless. He went between following me around literally everywhere to just standing by the bed bothering Juliana all day. He must have seen me packing his stuff, but he didn’t put it together that he was leaving.

I pack enough for him to stay three days and I tell Aunt Macy I’ll come and get him when my shift is over. She gives me some books about prayer to give to Juliana. In her own special Aunt Macy  way she says she thinks it’s bullshit Juliana got kicked out of class at church and then tells me that one of the preachers at church was suddenly talking about porn addiction and how it ruins marriages.

When I get back to my house Deacon is sitting on the front steps, even though I know he has keys to the house. He has a bottle of  half empty Crown Royal sitting next to him and two plastic cups.

“Mace called and told me you just left her place and I should check on you,” he said. "Figured you needed a good drink, boy."

It takes me a minute to realize he means Aunt Macy and not Mason when he says Mace.

“What time did you start drinking ?,” I ask him. He looked like shit. I knew he liked to drink to help the withdrawl.

He shrugs.

“You know,” he laughs handing me a cup. “I knew you were popular with women and as much as I liked Juliana I never understood why you chose...I don't know...I guess all this time I thought you married some innocent little angel from that freaky commune--”

“I don’t want to talk about this,” I tell him and take a drink before putting the cup down. As much as I wanted to be drunk I had to be on my best behavior for Mr. Reese.

“Mace told me Juliana’s goin' up North. That’s good.” Deacon nodded. “Couple of guys at Rooster’s were asking for ya'lls address. I told 'em to fuck off.”

I let us into the house and Deacon paces the living room while I pack up myself to go back to base and pack Juliana’s bag. I know he won't come into the bedroom--and not just because it's where Juliana is passed out. Our bedroom closet was where he found my Dad hanging with a belt , and he hasn't been in the room since.

Deacon and I try and clean the house up a little bit, so it doesn’t look like shit when Mr. Reese comes but Deacon passes out after only a few hours and I finish cleaning.

Mr. Reese arrives in the morning in a rental car.  He brings Tess and Hallie with him, which I wasn’t expecting. Tess had always been so hospitable to me when I came to their house, but I had no idea how to return the favor.

I watch Deacon easily introduce himself to them, Mr. Reese introduces himself briskly, his eyes moving around the house. I suddenly realize I forgot to put the door back on the bathroom.

“So, are ya’ll stayin’ around here or--,” Deacon starts

“We have a hotel at the airport and are leaving tomorrow morning” Mr. Reese says and then looks at me. “Where is she ?”

I take him to our bedroom and I can feel him evaluating it. The room was sparse. We’d bought a new bed, but most of our stuff was still in clear plastic bins we hadn’t unpacked. My grandparents old nightstands and dresser was still in the room. Juliana had her mother's urn on her side of the bed and a framed picture of us from our wedding day on the dresser.

Mr. Reese pauses on the picture before turning to his daughter on the bed.

“Juliana, sweetheart,” her Dad calls. "Juliana, wake up, dear."

She turns her head at the sound of his voice and her eyes get big when she sees him.

“Juliana, sweetheart I came to take you home,” he says quietly “Let’s get you out of this place for a while. We can leave right now…Your bags are already packed.”

She sits up slowly.

“You came for me ?,” she says softly.

“Of course,” he said. “We have a hotel at the airport. I want you to come with us. Let’s go out to lunch.”

She nods.

“I should change clothes,” she says quietly and relief floods over me.

We all cram awkwardly in the small eat-in kitchen while she showers since you can see right into the bathroom from the living room without the bathroom door.  Deacon had made coffee and he was entertaining Tess and Hallie with stories about growing up in this house.

When Juliana  walks into the kitchen 20 minutes later her wet hair is in a bun at top of her head and she’s wearing tights and a sweater dress. She has a pink and blue J tote bag on her shoulder with Aunt Macy's books in it.

“Ready to go ?,” Mr. Reese asks.

She nods.

I walk over to her,  kiss her on her forehead and put my arm around her. I'm walking on egg shells--I'm scared I'll say or do the wrong thing and she'll retreat.

“I love you,” I tell her and she only nods.

She lets me hold her hand as we walk towards Mr. Reese’s rental car. When I get her bag inside, she breaks away from me  to walk to my truck. She looks through the truck window and then looks back at me.

“Where’s Mason’s car seat ?,” she asks walking back towards the house.

“We should go, sweetheart,” her Dad says.

“He has to be in his car seat, Dad,” she explains and then it seems to dawn on her. She shakily turns to me. “Rhett...where’s Mason  ?”

“He’s not going with you,” I tell her in what I hope is a calm tone.

“Where is he, Rhett ?,” she shouts at me. “You can’t just take him--”

“He’s fine--”

“No, he’s not ! Where is he ?”

“Juliana, let’s go,” Mr. Reese says and to his credit he tries to guide her to the car but she brushes him away.

“Rhett, what did you do with my son ? I want to see him!” she shouts. “WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HIM, RHETT ? WHAT DID YOU DO WITH HIM ?”

She sounded insane. I’m at a loss for words, I open my mouth but nothing comes out.

She makes a run for the house and I instinctively know she’s going for the car keys on the table by the door. I’m faster and beat her to the car keys.

She starts crying and stamping her foot on the small wooden porch like a child as I put the keys in my pocket.

“You can’t take him away from me ! You can't take my baby away from me !” she cries and pushes me down the steps of the porch. I stumble backwards but catch my balance before I fall on my ass. “I’m his mother, you don’t know how to take care of him!”

She starts punching me in my chest and I can’t believe she is acting like this in front of her family. I grab her arm and pull her close to me.

“Juliana Reese Clark, just get in the damn car,” I say quietly to her and try and walk her towards the rental car.

“Tell me where he is !,” she shouts and scratches my face. It hurts like a bitch. “He needs me !  You can’t just take him away from me--,”

She goes to scratch me again and I snap. I grab her forearms and push her away.

“Yes, I fucking can take him away from you !” I yell at her. “You neglected him, you’re lucky I didn’t let you ass sit in jail--”

“You can’t do this! Give him to me now,” she says, spitting on me. She starts talking so fast I can barely understand her. “No.You’renotevenhisfather,you can'tkeephim--”

“What ? What the hell does that mean---,”

“You never signed the birth certificate because you’re so god damn busy all the time Ensign Clark.,” she says in a tone that is downright evil. “Oh and also, we’re not even married so everything you’re doing is illegal. Mason is mine, not yours. I'm not yours either, Rhett--

"What the fuck are you talking about--,"

"My first marriage wasn't annulled, so we're not married and Mason isn't legally yours so you need to bring him to me now. I am the only one who knows how to take care of him--"

“Really, J ?"

"Yes--"

"Cause last time I checked you left him in that playpen  alone, starving and sitting in his own filth because someone hurt your fucking feelings.” I scream at her and suddenly I’m out for blood. “That’s fucking child abuse. You didn’t call anyone, you didn’t ask for help, you just let him suffer. I don’t care about a damn signature on a damn piece paper. You don’t get fucking anything after that, Juliana. So, you’re going to get in the fucking car with your father or I’m going to put your crazy ass in it.”

I feel Mr. Reese coming up behind me and I can feel his disapproval at my threats but I don’t care.

“NO ! TELL ME WHERE HE IS--,” she starts but I don’t let her finish. I pick her up by her waist and carry her to the car. She kicks me in the face with her boots, my nose starts dripping blood and I drop her in the grass in a messy tangle, but I don’t let go of her and she starts kicking me.

“Alright, alright,” I hear Deacon say in a soothing tone.

He takes her wildly kicking legs and I take her arms and we half drag and half carry her screaming into the car. Mr. Reese doesn’t say a god damn thing but when we throw her into the car he locks the doors. She bangs on the car window until Tess pulls her away from the car window and lets her cry into her lap.

“I don’t ever want to see you manhandle her like that ever again,” Mr. Reese says in a clipped tone and then his tone shifts. “Let me know if the baby needs anything.”

“Yes, sir,” Is all I can say.

Mr. Reese gets in the car and drives away. I’d been trained to handle a lot of stressful situations, I’d pulled bodies out of a flooded city but everything about what I just did breaks me. When the car is out of sight it all comes out. I just start bawling like a little bitch.  I can’t catch my breath,. Hot tears just pours out of me. When I wipe my face blood stains my arm.

I feel a weight on my shoulder and remember Deacon is still there.

“I’m sorry,” I say trying to get the tears to stop.

“It’s alright, nephew.” He says “It wasn’t pretty but you did the right thing for your kid. You should be proud.”

“Nah,” I tell him. "I ain't proud of that."

And I wasn’t.

And the worst part was it was only the beginning of shit I wasn't proud of.

----

A/N
Oooh, foreshadowing. Let the angst begin....

I also want to make a few other notes:

- There are  a lot of stories of people in small towns suing the website Topix for ruining their lives. It's.....interesting and sad.

- Pretty much all of this and the next few chapter was written before pussygate. As we go along you may start to see some similiatieis in narrative...