-1-
Subject: (No Subject)
From: juliesheart@aol.com
To:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
I have an internet connection now.
I hope you fall out of your stupid helicopter and die and then you’ll feel bad for the way you treated me and where you and Dad put me.
------
Subject: (No Subject)
From: juliesheart@aol.com
To:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
Tell me where Mason is or I am never
speaking to you again. You know he misses me. He is probably so confused. I hate you so much Rhett.
------
Subject: Hey
From: HY65grgweg5GE53g1@anonymoussend.com
To: Juliesheart@aol.com
CC: Marty.Enlign@FreeportUsedCars.inc
Hello Juliana,
I don't know how to start this so I'll just say it. I've seen you around Freeport, I've actually always thought you were pretty and I actually really liked your videos. I love a woman with a secret wild side.
I know your technically out of the business but I'd be interested in getting some pics--no sex or anything (unless, you want...lol) You'd just have to send the pics to this e-mail and I can put money in a paypal accounts. I heard you don't work so you can have some spending money not controlled by your husband. I mostly like upskirt with panty clad ass, bare breasts and fully body. Maybe wet pussy, but I really like it when it's tight
I can send pics too. I've attached one, it's not great but it was nighttime.I can probably do better.
Did you ever do anal ? You probably have, naughty girl. If not let me tell you how good it can be for women. I'm also available for chat too if you want to go over more details.
Sincerely,
Your Local Friend
This e-mail was sent using Anonymous Send, a service that lets you send any e-mail anonymously !
------
Subject: (No subject)
From: juliesheart@aol.com
To:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
Why are you ignoring me, Rhett ? I want to talk to my son!!!!!!!!!!
I know you can see this because you always check your work e-mail on your days off. Are you even watching Mason ? Is he with your Mom all the time? She's so strict with him. He’s going to tell me everything you do. I hate you so much Rhett. Did you tell Mason you’re not legally his Dad ? Are you even sober right now ? I saw that Crown Royal when you were kicking me out of my house. I bet you’re not sober. Did you go to Wil’s last night ?
I talked about you in group therapy
today. I told everyone that you like to hit me and that you like to hit women.
------
Subject: (No subject)
From: juliesheart@aol.com
To:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
I didn’t really say any of that stuff about you in therapy, btw.
You aren’t picking up your phone and you aren’t responding to my e-mail so I’m assuming you fell into the sea and drowned which I am fine with. I’ll get all that money from your death.
------
Subject: (No subject)
From: juliesheart@aol.com
To:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
I know you’re still alive. I just called your station pretending to be your sister and they told me you were there. Then they said you were out. Did you know it was me ?
I want to talk to Mason. I told everyone here I have a son and they probably don’t believe me because I don’t even have a picture of him. And they don’t believe you exist either because you don’t call. I’m lonely. What are you even doing ?
Write to me like we used to.
It’s so boring here.
-----
Subject: Mail
From: rclark@uscga.mil.gov
Juliana,
I’m sending you something in the mail. Please sign it and return it and then we’ll talk about Mason.
Love,
Rhett
-----
Subject: (No subject)
From: juliesheart@aol.com
To:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
What are you sending me ? Please call me, Rhett !!!!!
-----
Subject: (No subject)
From: juliesheart@aol.com
To:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
Rhett,
Okay, I got your mail and signed all those papers. You could have mailed some photos of Msaon too. I go to therapy at 9AM, 1PM and 4:30. You can call me outside of those times.
I watched a movie last night about dancing penguins, I want to show it to Mason. The hospital had it on DVD, so maybe you can buy it for him ?
-----
Subject: (No subject)
From: juliesheart@aol.com
To:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
Rhett, I signed the papers and mailed them to you the same day. Why won’t you call me ????????
-----
Subject: (No subject)
From: juliesheart@aol.com
To:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
I hate you Rhett. CALL ME !
-----
Subject: (No subject)
From: juliesheart@aol.com
To:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
Call me or I’m never e-mailing you again. I did what you said, I mailed the papers, I want to talk to my son.
-----
Subject: BAD HUSBAND
From: juliesheart@aol.com
To:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
You’re such a fucking liar Rhett ! I signed the paper, why won’t you call or e-mail me and tell me where Mason is ? Why are you keeping me from him ? You are such a douchebag ! You shouldn’t treat me like this !!!!!!!!!
I found a book with this Bible verse from Ephesians 5:28. It goes like this: In the same way husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself.
If you hate me it means you hate yourself. We’re married, you can’t just ignore me, asshole.
-----
Subject: (No subject)
From: juliesheart@aol.com
To:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
I hate you Rhett.
I hate you Rhett.
I hate you Rhett.
I hate you Rhett.
I hate you Rhett.
I hate you Rhett.
I hate you Rhett.
I hate you Rhett.
I hate you Rhett.
I hate you Rhett.
I hate you Rhett.
CALL ME NOW !
-----
Subject: See Attachments
From: rclark@uscga.mil.gov
Juliana,
See the attached signed birth certificate, annulment and marriage license.
How fucking hard was that, baby?
Love,
Rhett
P.S The Bible also says wives should submit to their husbands. So….
-----
Subject: (No subject)
From: juliesheart@aol.com
To:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
You thought you could get rid of me by hanging up on me ? I know you hung up on purpose. Why aren’t you picking up your cell phone ? Did you see Mason on your last break ? How is he ? Does he remember me ? What did he eat ? Did he go to church ? You should take him to his Sing A Long Story time. They won't kick you out and he has to learn all the new songs or he’ll be behind in the songs and it’s hard for him to remember because he is already one of the youngest kids except for that 18 month old, but her mom is the teacher and I think she teaches her daughter all the songs so she looks smarter.
I know I’m being awful, but I am so mad at you.
I’m calling your office again you better pick up or I’m sending this e-mail to you and I know it’s going to make me look worse, but I am so lonely and I miss you.
You didn’t pick up. Okay, I’m calling again and this time if you don’t pick up I’m really going to send this e-mail.
-----
Subject: (No subject)
From: juliesheart@aol.com
To:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
I logged into the bank account, so now I know what you’ve been up to. I knew you were drinking. I knew it ! I saw you went to the liquor store and spent $127 then went to Baskin Robbins on Sunday. Did you take our baby into a liquor store ? Why didn’t you take him to church ? His friends are there ! You’re so mean to him, Rhett. He probably wants me.
Also, I see you bought some video downloads from Brad’s website. You're just like everyone else. I know the fake company name it shows up as so I know you paid for it. Is
this your way of telling me you miss me ? Why would you waste your money on
that ? You're disgusting, I thought we were on a budget. How can you spend money on liquor and porn ?
You're terrible. I hate you.
-----
Subject: Expensive Quitter
From:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
Rhett: juliesheart@aol.com
See the attached $200 withdrawal fee I had to pay since you dropped out of your class at the community college. Also see the receipt for money wasted on books and supplies you never used. And don't even think about blaming this on me making you leave because they told me you were missing class before this all happened.
Stop worrying about me and get better. If you make it through half of this week without harassing me with calls and e-mails I’ll call you and I’ll tell you where Mason is.
Love, Rhett.
-----
Subject: No Subject
From: juliesheart@aol.com
To:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
Did you change the passwords on the bank account ?
Did you know your Mom's neighbor Marty from down the
street sent me an e-mail and said if I send him a picture he would pay me for it. He
tried to send the e-mail anonymously, but his name still showed up as a cc.
Do you want me to take him up so I can pay back the bills for dropping out of school ? Because I will and it will be all your fault.
I hate you so much Rhett, I’m leaving another message and you better respond. And tell me why you paid for Brad’s website ?
-----
Subject: Enough is enough
From:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
I’m tired of this Juliana. Stop with the e-mails, stop with the long phone messages. You sound fucking crazy in all these e-mails. I am going to tell you why I’m not answering your calls or letting you talk to Mason and I want you to really read this and think about about it;
I listen to every message you leave
me and read through every nonsense e-mail and not once have you ever apologized or expressed
regret for for what you did to Mason. You're just mad I took him away from you. That is fucking scary to me.
You need to take some responsibility and show me that you understand that
you’re actions got him hurt and that if I hadn’t come home it could have been worse.
I can't be with you all the time. My schedule isn’t going to get any better and I need to know he’s safe when he’s with you.
You’re sick, I get that and now you're in a safe place to get better, just do that and we’ll be waiting for you when you get out. I promise.
Love,
Rhett
-----
Subject: (No Subject)
To:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
From: juliesheart@aol.com
I’m sorry, Rhett I really am. It wasn't me who did that. Why won’t you at least talk to me on the phone ? I just want to talk to you. I promise I’ll stay here and get better, but can’t we send nice letters like we used to ? Please ?
Juliana
-----
Subject: You're Invited: Swirl, Sniff and Sip
To:Juliesheart@aol.com
Swirl, Sniff and Sip !
You’re Invited to the
Sullivan-Cunningham Bridal Party
Wine Tasting & Dress Planning Day !
We’re going to support our girl Amber on her special day and we’ll do it in style ! Join us at Country Girls Winery for a wine (and cheese / sparkling juice) tasting to talk dress ideas. Bring your fave magazines and inspys !
And don’t worry, girls, the groomsman will be our chauffeurs so we can have some real fun !
Winery fee: $30
xoxoxo
Brooke Williams, Maid of Honor
-------
Subject: Happy Bride !
To: ContactGroup_Bridesmaids
From:amber.cunningham@gmail.comHi Lovelies,
I had so much fun on Saturday at Country Girls Winery, and I’m so glad we will be rocking it in burgundy on my special day. Brooke and Mama Cunningham are scheduling some dress fittings soon so do your crunches now !
I love you all, but for coordination purposes, if you miss two bridesmaids events you won’t be able to be in the bridal party. I’ve attached the calendar for future reference.
Have a blessed day!
Amber Cunningham, Bride
-----
Subject: Hi
To: Juliesheart@aol.com
From: Jocelyn@freeportcurlsandcuts.com
Rhett told me he's been e-mailing you and I'm on a quick break so I figured I would write something.
I know I haven't called but honestly we're all still trying to wrap our minds around all of this. If I'm being honest I am disappointed and disgusted with you for how you neglected my grandson. I wish I could say I can't believe you let that happen, but I'm not all that surprised. Your'e getting old enough that being scatterbrained isn't cute. I hope you learn to get a handle on yourself.
I don't know what to say about those videos. It's not who I thought you were and I completely dissaprove.
I just hope you are getting better. You should know Mason is doing fine, Rhett's asked me not to tell you where he is because he's afraid you'll start calling obsessively but I've seen Mason and he is doing well. Rhett tells me he intends to stay with you so hopefully when you get back it will be better. He's a good man to stand behind his promises to you.
I spoke with Amber about the wedding and hopefully she will still let you be in it when you return. I think you could learn so much from her and she'd be a wonderful friend for you.
Jocelyn Clark
----
To:Juliesheart@aol.com
From:amber.cunningham@gmail.comHi Juliana,
I was at Sunday Supper with Mrs. Sullivan (or do we call her Nana ?) and Mrs. Clark (Do I call her Aunt Joss ?!) told me you would be out of town for a while, but were very excited for the wedding. Of course you are still welcome to be in the bridal party, but I also understand if you don’t want to be in the bridal party. Either way you can still come the bachelorette party—we’re going to a lake house in Hilton Head and doing a slumber party theme.
Amber Cunningham
Subject: WTF
From:rclark@usgca.mil.gov
I'm trying to do the right thing, baby, but fuck you are hard to get legally married to ? I can deal with this shit right and it's not like where you are is covered by insurance so we'll worry about it when you get home.
Rhett
-2-
“Jocelyn—I mean my husband’s mother went to rehab for pill addiction and then his Uncle—he was just in rehab for heroin and I think…I think his family just really likes sending people away,” I explain.
“Okay,” Dr. Lamb says. “That’s a thought, but is there anything about yourself more specifically you want to share or anything that has been on your mind ?”
I look around at the group of people gathered on the circle of fold out chairs, sipping coffee and fake orange juice, staring expectantly at me. I’d shared exactly what had been on my mind, but it apparently wasn’t good enough.
“I don’t think I’m ready today,” I smile and Dr. Lamb moves on to the next person.
I’d learned those were the magic words to get out of talking in a group therapy session. And I’d been told smiling a lot would get you out of a psychiatric ward faster.
I’d found out that Brad’s site had
been discovered from a text from Savannah. She’d just said people were
spreading rumors at her school. I didn’t think it was anything until I went to
church—the one place I thought I’d been fitting in—and I was asked to leave.
My mind always raced with thoughts and worries, but in that moment they suddenly got faster and more vivid. Everything that caused me anxiety just attacked me at once and I felt myself spiraling down. When I hit the bottom I couldn’t get out no matter how much I wanted to, it felt like there was a weight on me.
I’d woken up in bed to Rhett attacking me—he’d done exactly what everyone seemed to be afraid he’d eventually do. He’d grabbed me by my wrists so hard it left bruises and threw me against the wall. I’d been depressed before, but I think he was the reason I went catatonic.
And then he just took Mason from me.
I had this vivid image of him burying Mason in the backyard. Rhett could be so cold, he called it compartmentalizing but that wasn’t it. He was like a sociopath sometimes—he didn’t seem to care at all that we slept in the room his Dad killed himself. And if he did do something terrible to Mason his entire family would lie for him.
Rhett taking Mason away from made me more upset than I’d ever been in my life. It had hurt more than anything he’d ever done to me. It was a terrible thing to think, but Mason didn’t love Rhett like he loved me. Rhett spent too much time in the Coast Guard, he liked order and control and toddlers seemed to hate that.
I had been angry for Mason that he was being left without his mother and I got angrier the farther we got from Louisiana. I didn’t want to get off the plane and I just snapped. I screamed louder and louder and louder and I couldn't calm down and I was involuntarily hospitalized in Connecticut, given a tranquilizer and put in an actual padded room like a maniac.
When I calmed down the director of the Hartford Medical Center psych ward came to me and told me that if I voluntarily check myself in they’d help me feel better as quickly as I could. They said if I stayed and cooperated they’d make Rhett tell me where Mason was.
The HMC psych ward reminded me eerily of the halfway house. It was regimented; I had a roommate who seemed nice but apparently had suicide ideation, I was given pills everyday by nurses and had to go to three different therapy sessions. I did the minimum participation in group therapy, took my pills and made polite conversation at meals. I was friendly but I wasn’t trying to make friends.
After the group therapy session finally lets out I go to my bed to get my needles and yarn and then I go down to the visitation room.
Dad came to visit me every day. He brings me lunch from a drive thru and we sit in mostly silence. He brings a book of crossword puzzles and we work on them while I knit. I’d learned to knit and sew from my mother, it was all we did on the commune, but I hadn’t actually done it in years. I had so much free time in the psych ward that I’d picked it up again. I was making a pastel rainbow blanket for Mason.
At the end of our visitation hours I finally finish removing and re-knitting the green section of the blanket. Dad throws away the trash from lunch and hands me a sticky note.
“Mr. Clark asked me to give you this. It’s the number of where your son is staying,”
I look at the number and recognize the area code as Southaven. I should have known he was with Macy.
I quickly hug Dad goodbye and excitedly walk to the recreation area, where the phones were located. I’d been in the psych ward for 10 days and I was so worried he wouldn’t remember me.
When I get to the recreation room all 4 of the phones are taken, so I sit down in one of the computer chairs to wait. The computers blocked most websites and where rumored to heavily monitored so not many people used them, but based on my own e-mail habits I was sure that the monitoring was a lie.
I looked on the computer to see if Rhett has responded to any
of the e-mail I’d sent him. I’d pretended to be mad in them, but mostly I
missed him and was just baiting him. I have seven new e-mails, but they are all in a long chain about the bridesmaids sharing the best way to make a top bun.
I decide to visit the Freeport Topix page
and see what new things Freeport was saying about me. The original comment
section was gone but a new forum topic had been created about the article with
over 500 comments. It was mostly people moralizing and I see that Brad jumped into the comments.
FlowersandDancing65
This article is a beautiful tribute to the
images of Katrina and I think it is derailing and unethical for an adult film
stars photo to be shown in a photo. Those videos of her are deplorable and I feel for her
husband and her son’s future. Nobody wants to see their wife/mother like that.
RollTideMama
What bothers me most is that she is so clearly doing drugs in those videos. We have enough of that in this part of the country without her making it look sexy or fun. So dissapointed in this young woman. Women used to be the moral standard for America, what is wrong with all our girls these days ?! It looks like she was a stripper. I am so sickened by this.
SunroseFlower
Ooookay, I know this chick. She got arrested for this shit and we were in a halfway house program together. She was quiet, surly, dressed like she was amish and acted like she was better than us.I never understood why so many of the male staff messed with her, but now I see. They must have seen her videos /blogs since this is def local. She must still be fuck like a bitch in heat if that guy married her because she was dumb as hell. Couldn't hold a single conversation.
Hellifiknow
I knew Clark in high school. He
was popular even though he could be kind of a bully. I'm glad he accomplished so much because he did seem to blow off school completely towards the
end. He was kind of a player, and got lots of girls to blow him but didn’t talk about girls
like other guys.When I first met the wife I was surprised to see a guy like him had married such a plain looking girl, but I guess she was over correcting. I hope he gets a divorce and an AIDS test.Some of the cocks
that chick sucks look vile. He'll have girls lining up to take care of him and that cute kid !
GardenLady_45
I lived near the Clark family and
I’ve known Rhett Clark’s family a long time. I wish them the best and it seems like Juliana is learning to respect her body but I don’t
know how to explain to my son about the videos other kids have been
downloading and trading. I’m honestly sickened by it all. How could she ever
think this was okay ? I’ve only seen screenshots and am disturbed !
Dionysus_Risen
Hello, Freeport. I’m Dionysus the man who produced and directed these videos and I hoped to see something more here than a bunch of prudes judging my art. These videos are nothing more than a woman enjoying her tight young body. This is closer to art than most of the porn your fat husbands are downloading.
I asked Cybersmash for user analytics and it seems like a lot of men (and women?) in your town
are enjoying the show. They've seen an uptick in sales. Don’t make me post credit card info / IP addresses, folks. Some of them are for churches. Shhhhhhhh !
TheNewGreatest
@Dionysus_Risen - Gross. You don’t treat her like a woman in those videos. Get out of here with that pedobear!
Dionysus_Risen
Wow. That’s almost libel. It’s
called acting, TheNewGreatest. We blurred
the line between real and fake and that’s why it made me so much money. IT WAS
ALL FAKE YOU IDIOTS SHE’S NOT REALLY A WHORE ! SHE CAN ACT, MAYBE CAST HER IN SOME OF YOUR SHITTY SMALL TOWN PLAYS.
AnonymousBitchSlap
I'm back. Stop lying, Dionysus. You know it’s not fake. She's not acting. She’s a
real stupid cumslut whore who probably broke a condom to con some good ol’ boy in the military
into marrying her. Bitch stole from
Dionysus_Risen and she’s probably going to steal from this Rhett dude too. If u know him maybe tell him to watch his back.
Dionysus_Risen
How do u know she stole from me ?
Who the fuck are you ? Why are you hiding behind a screenname ? She didn’t con
me, Tell me who you are and I'll set the record straight over the phone. I got mine and she got her last fuck for what she did.
AnonymousBitchSlap
How you gonna call me out for having a
screenname when you’re wearing a pube wig and sunglasses in the videos and you
come on here using your fake name ?? Don’t make me leak your real name,
Dionysus_Risen. I know it Mr. B******* J****** . Come at me again and I'll post ur phone number.
And you know she had her own side hustle. I got pics. See link.
I was surprised I could even open AnonymousBitchsSlap''s link on this computer, but it works. The link went to a web gallery of old photos of me. One is of me lying on a couch in a bikini top and a micro skirt, with my legs at an angle to show off my underwear.
I recognized those pictures.
I know who took them.
I was about to create an account and call out AnonymousBitchSlap by name but then I see a phone go free. I abandon the computer and run to the phones
“Howell residence,” she answers her phone. She still used her married name
“It’s me Juliana,” I said and Macy makes an excited sound.
“How are you ? ,” Macy says. “Oh, Rhett just dropped Mason off this morning and he’s playing with the kids outside. Let me get him.”
I hear her walking the house and then I hear his giggling and it makes my chest tight.
“Hi,” I say into the phone. “Hi, it’s me. Mason, it’s me. Do you miss me ? Mason ? Do you miss me ? Guess what ? I’m making you a present.”
He says some yeas and makes some of his toddler talk, but he’s clearly far more interested in playing. Macy’s youngest was 6 and I wondered if they were playing nicely.
“Come talk to Mama,” I hear Macy trying to corral him back to the phone. “Come say hi”
“Mason, Mommy is so sorry, okay ?,” I tell him. “Tell Daddy, mommy says she sorry to you. Okay ?”
He says yes, but then he drops the phone. I don’t think he even knows it’s me.
“How is he ?,” I ask when Macy picks the phone back up.
“He’s actually doing really well,” Macy says and then sighs. “Well, I mean except he just gets so upset when his daddy has to go to leave him.”
“He does ?,” I ask trying not sound jealous.
“Yes. Apparently every time Rhett puts him in the car to being him here he starts crying and saying ‘dada’ until I can console or distract him.”
My stomach rolls over. Rhett is a terrible father.
“He’s not saying daddy,” I tell her. “He wants his pacifier, he takes it everywhere with him. It has ducks on it, he’s saying ducky. He loves it , can you give it to him ?”
“Oh…Rhett didn’t pack it--,”
Of course he didn’t. I put together a scolding e-mail in my head.
“Rhett’s an idio—I mean, can you got back to the house and get it ? It helps him nap--”
“Well, he napped without it last time,” she tells me. “It’s probably good to wean him off it anyway. How are you doing ?”
“I’m fine,” I tell her.
She tries to get Mason on the phone but he doesn’t want to talk to me. I still have 15 minutes left so I call Rhett’s office phone. He has caller ID , so I know he won’t pick up but I leave a message.
I talk for 15 minutes just to fill his voicemail and then I hang up.
***
-3-
The doctors in the psychiatric ward agree to let me leave after three weeks. I walk out of the hospital with a weekly therapist appointments and a new dosage of a trial drug.The new dosage isn’t perfect, it made me feel numb sometimes but I could manage it. And I had a feeling it would come in handy when I had to confront AnonymousBitchSlap.
I waited until Dad and Tess were
both off volunteering at Hallie’s school fundraiser before I snuck out to pay a visit to
AnonymousBitchSlap. I was supposed to go
with them to Hallie’s school , but I pretended like I wasn’t ready to go out.
I'd
heard Cody tell Rhett AnonymousBitchSlap went to Yale and after confirming he was in
the student directory I knew I had guessed the right person.
I print my directions at the library and walk to the Hartford Megabus station. I’d never taken a charter bus, but I follow the crowd and join the line for the New Haven bus. I find myself staring at other mothers with their strollers. It was so strange not having Mason next to me or running off to touch something.
The trip is only 45 minutes to New Haven Union Station. I study the local bus map during ride and when I get to the New Haven station I walk around the station until I find the local bus line and look at the driver.
“Will this take me to Yale ?,” I ask him.
He nods and I get in.
The Yale campus is large and intimidating;
it looks like something out of a movie with it’s old buildings and big green
lawns. I’d only been to a college campus twice; Once to visit Cortland to
officially end things and once to see a Coast Guard vs. Navy game with Rhett but I'd barely seen the campus.
I knew Yale was supposed to be a prestigious school and I was hoping there wouldn’t be that many people on the campus, but there are students everywhere.
I used information on Facebook to figure out where he lived and I find my way to his dorm and sit on a bench outside hoping to see him, but I don’t. After an hour of waiting I start asking people going in and out of the dorms until I finally get someone who knows him.
“He’s supposed to meet me—I don’t have a cell phone,” I explain to the smiling dark haired guy who just wanted to help me.
“I’ll go get him, what’s your name ?,”
“Amber Cunningham,” I lie. “Oh, and I had red hair when we met, that’s how he’ll remember me. We met at a party last weekend,”
I figure if he suspects it’s me waiting for him he won’t come out.
The dark haired boy nods and walks into the dorm.
When the AnonymousBitchSlap finally comes out of the dorm door he freezes when he sees me.
Hunter Day was never as handsome as his older brother and he still wasn’t. His eyes were a dull brown, his skin was pale and his acne scarred face was still babyishly round.
When he sees me he actually starts
speed walking in the opposite direction. I run after him and snatch the iPod
out of his hand so he won’t run away from me.
“Give that back,” he says
“Not until you tell me why,” I demand. I wasn’t even that angry with him, the drugs were numbing most of it.
“You’re trespassing,” he tells me. “I can call the campus police on you,”
“Fine,” I said calling his bluff. Judging by the way he ran when he saw me I knew he was more afraid of me.
“What do you want ?,” he asks.
I think about what Rhett would do. How he intimidated people. He didn’t always yell. Sometimes he’d just get close to people and keep answering questions with more questions.
“Why did you post all those comments about me on that article?,” I demand stepping closer to Hunter. He takes a step back.
“How do you know it was me ?”
“You practically just admitted it,” I tell him. “Also, you linked to some pictures that I know Cortland made you take of us. Did you really think I wasn’t going to notice you took Cortland out of all the photos ? Now tell me why you did it ? ”
“It was just a joke,” he says in an exasperated tone. “I just thought it was funny how you went from… what you were before--”
“You ruined my life!,” I shout at him. “Why didn’t you take it down when multiple people asked you to ?”
He shrugged.
“You were always so public at the beach house walking… you never seemed to care before--,”
“You are so lucky I’m not going to send my husband after you,” I cut him off. “He doesn’t know who you are, but if he did he would get on a plane right now and he would come kill you.”
“Okay, I’m sorry--,” he says but he laughs either out of nerves or because he thinks this is funny. Either way he doesn’t get it.
“No, you’re not,” I tell him. “ Do you want to hear something funny ? I had a mental breakdown and my husband took my baby away and I’ve been in a psych ward. Isn’t that so funny ? Your joke is so funny, Hunter. It’s so funny to me,”
I was getting too loud and he looks terrified of me, but I liked how scared he was. I stepped closer to him and he stepped back until he nearly ran into the dorm building wall.
“My 16-year-old sister-in-law is being made fun of by the boys in her class, strangers on the internet are calling me names and swapping what were supposed to be private videos and I bet my neighbors are—are jerking off to pictures of me. It’s really funny, Hunter. It’s so funny how you posted that. Is that what you study, here ? How to be so funny ?”
“Okay, calm down—look I’m sorry. Maybe I can buy you a meal--”
“I should have known it was you,” I cut him off. “You were always so jealous of Cortland and you were right to be. You’re both—you’re both privileged assholes but at least he was handsome.”
I realize I have gone too far and he is angry now.
“You should watch it and watch how you talk to me. I have other videos I can post. From the parties at the house, you know ?” he says. “You were a fucking stuck up bitch to me. I was nice to you and you never even looked me in the eye--”
“Yes, I did--,”
“No you didn't. Not like you did the other guys. You would dance with them, you would flirt with them and let them do everything but stick it in but you were never like that to me even though I was closer to your age. But no, I was too nice and we could have been good but you humiliated me at every party. You laughed when I asked for a kiss, but you let Patrick’s old ass Dad take your virgin---”
“That video was fake,” I tell him.
“Like there isn’t a real one,” he
spat back
I was sure there was one. Somewhere. My first time had been with Brad, but I’d been drugged so I didn’t remember much but I did know Brad liked to record things.
“You treated me like I was nothing and you clearly still think that with that attitude,” Hunter continued. “Girls always date the jerks and now it sounds like you married one too.”
We were attracting a crowd. I throw his iPod back at him and he misses it, it cracks satisfyingly on the pavement.
“If you post anymore videos, you’ll get to meet my husband and his friends and judge for yourself if he’s a jerk.” I say and walk away.
I feel a rush from the encounter and I wonder if I did enough as I wait for the bus to take me back. I feel too high on my confidence and end up getting on the wrong bus. I accidentally go to New London and have to wait 2 hours before I can go back to New Haven and then finally back to Hartford.
When I finally find my way back to
the townhouse, it’s nightfall and I see Dad and Tess are back from the fundraiser. When I walk into the house it’s quiet. I formulate a story in my head about going to get something to eat when I walk in on Dad and Tess in my room; Looking through my suitcase and totebag.
Dad is sitting on my bed and has a stack of Rhett’s old letters in his hands. Whenever we were apart I always like to re-read some of Rhett old letters, I’d even printed some of the e-mails so I could read them in bed. I’d put them in my suitcase right before I left.
“Dad--,”
“Where have you been ?,” he asks me.
“I left a note,” I tell him referring to a note on the fridge that said ‘be back soon’. “Why are you reading those--those are private--”
“We’re sorry,” Tess starts. "We didn't know where--,"
“We were looking for clues for where you may have gone. You can't just disappear like that.” Dad cuts her off. “Now, sweetheart, why do you have these filthy letters and e-mails ? This isn’t healthy…”
“What do you mean ?,” I ask. Rhett and I's letters were always PG except for his occasional crude joke. They were mostly about music.We never even talked about as much as kissing.
Dad pulls out a handwritten letter that was 12 sheets of notebook paper stapled together written in Rhett’s boy-ish blocky handwriting.
“In this letter Mr. Clark admits to
sitting back and watching you get beaten and that he says he was planning on raping
you… among other things,” Dad frowns. "Juliana this--"
“Dad that letter is so old,” I say taking it back.
“Why would you keep this ?,”
I shrug
It was one of the first letters Rhett ever sent me. He wasn't even supposed to send it to me. He had to write out a confession about everything that led to him to UL and what he’d done there for a therapy project. He was supposed to burn it, but he'd sent it to me. And as ugly as it was I I was glad he did sent it. It put everything out there and started our relationship.
Our first few letters were raw and tough, it wasn’t until I went to jail that we started writing about fun things.
“You’ve made so much progress,” Dad
said. "I called your doctor and they said holding on to something like this it isn't good for you. We need to get rid of them."
I take the letter from him. The boy who sent that letter to me had seemed so infinitely interesting. I’d wanted to know everything about him.
And now I did. I knew so much about him.
I don't want to give up the letter, but I practically had it memorized by now anyway, so I give it back to Dad and he destroys it.
And I don’t think anything of it.
---
A/N
I never realized Cortland didn't have a last name so I had to make one up...unless he did have one and I just couldn't find a mention of it.
You: Juliana knits now ?
SHV: So, she actually does this A LOT in UL but I completely forgot about it and I decided to add it back in.