Rhett

I manage to keep the car accident a secret from everyone except Deacon for 3 days. It was the time I needed to make sure Amber and West were off on their Hawaiian honeymoon so they couldn’t accuse me of orchestrating a fucking accident to distract from their wedding. I’d only told Deacon because I needed him to give me a ride home from the hospital.

“Did you walk here, honey ?,” Mama asks when Mason and I walk into her salon. It was hot as fuck and I was dripping with sweat.

The salon is quiet, the only clients inside are a woman and her little girl.

“What happened ? What’s the matter ?,” Savannah coos to Mason taking him out of my aching arms. His face was red and tear-stained. His gray dinosaur t-shirt was wrinkled and covered in dirt.

He’d thought walking here with me was fun until it got to hot and he didn't want to drink out of my water bottle. He decided to throw a falling down tantrum when we were only a few streetlights away. I’d pretended I was going to leave him and that had only made it worse. When I finally picked him up he cried so hard I was afraid he was going to hyperventilate.

He’d only calmed down and drank the water when he realized going go the salon met he could play with Savannah.

“Did he fall ?,” Mama asks sliding her flatiron through the woman’s thick red hair.

“Nah, he just got upset. Can I talk to you in the back, Mama ?,” I ask her

“Just as soon as I’m done,” she tells me.

I walk into the back and drink one of the god awful zero calorie sodas she kept stocked in the mini-fridge. I was  exhausted and getting a headache and I have my head in my hands when I hear Mama walk into the tiny office.

“What’s going on, honey ?,” she says sitting in the seat across from me at the desk.

“I just need you to watch Mason today. I have a lot of shit I need to get done--,”

“Language,” she scorns me and I try not to laugh at that being her biggest problem. “Savannah can maybe watch him in the afternoon, but I have clients booked all day. What exactly is your wife up to today ?,”

She’d started casually referring to Juliana as ‘your wife’ since the porn site incident.

I’d come here to tell her the truth so I just do it.

“Promise you won’t get mad.” I tell her.

“Oh, god, what now ?,” Mama says rubbing her forehead. I wondered if headaches were contagious.

“So…J’s in jail,” I tell her.

Mama slams her hands on the table and I can’t even look her in the eye.

“Good Lord, Rhett,” she says shaking her heard. “I know she has issues and bless her heart, but I’ve had it up to here with that girl.”

“I…It was an accident,”

“ Accident ? Accident ? Is that the word we’re using now ? You know I defended her when people said she was...soliciting herself--,”

“No. God, Ma, It was an actual accident,” I explain and tell her about our crash. I don’t tell her I’d been the one driving.

When Officer Wright arrested Juliana I figured they were trying to scare her and she’d just get a slap on the wrist. Figuring I needed to find a way to pick her up from the police station I called Deacon to come and get me and pick Mason up.

What I hadn’t known was that while I was arranging a ride she was sent before a bitch of a judge who gave her 14 days in jail for child endangerment. I wanted to come clean then, but then Juliana would get in more trouble for lying to a judge.

She had to report for her sentence two days later and I’d never been more pussy whipped than I had been for those two days. She only talked to me long enough to tell me to sleep on the couch.

“Lord, Jesus,” Mama says rubbing her eyes with both her hand. “Okay, let me think…first things first let me call Marty about getting you another car--,”

“I ain’t going to him,” I tell her. “Besides I need to get a loan first. The insurance company won’t cover a new car since we’re at fault--”

“Okay. Fine. How much ?,” Mama sighs. 

I stare at her. The salon has just gotten in the black for the first time since she opened it. She was making a decent profit but not a very big one. 

“Too much,” I tell her thinking about the last $200 dollars in my checking account. “I’ll figure it out, I  just need you to watch Mason while I go to the bank--,”

“Honey, it’s clear you need more than that. I’m your mother, let me help you--,”

“I think you’ve done enough,” I tell her and despite my best efforts I can’t keep the attitude out my voice.

“Excuse me ?,” she says. “I’m your mother, Rhett I’m just trying to help--,”

“This is partially your fault,” I laugh. “We would have never left the wedding early  if Amber hadn’t told me you were telling her all of my business--,”

Mama crosses her arms.

“What are you talking about--,”

“You told her I was in United Light--,you won’t even tell Nana about that.”

“Well, she asked where you disappeared off to during senior year and I sure as hell wasn’t going to lie to her,” Mama said

“She said you think me joining UL fucked up our family--,”

“I--,” she starts. “That’s not exactly what I said. All I said is nothing good has come out of your association with that place. Think about it. It’s the reason you’re  out of work, it’s the reason you had to see that therapist and where you met--,”

She stutters on the last part of her sentence and swallows it. We have a staring contest because I don’t think either of us is ready to have the conversation where I have to choose a side between my wife and my mother.

“…It’s been a while since I had a sleepover with my grandson,” Mama says. “I’ll stop by your house and get his clothes.”

“Thanks,” I say cautiously. I wasn’t used to winning fights with Mama.

“Do you need a ride--,” she asks

“No, I think I need to walk.”

 I say goodbye to Mason and jog back to my empty house. I change into a shirt and tie and talk my neighbor Trevor into driving me to the bank for the loan.  It’s humiliating to have to ask someone for a ride and I suddenly feel like an asshole for all the times I didn’t give Cody a ride.

“Where’s your girl at ?,” Trevor asks as he drives us out the neighborhood.

“You fucking spying on me ?,” I throwback at him, a little shaken he even noticed she’s been gone.

“Nah, just an observation,” he says and then laughs to himself. “Erik thought she got a gig working at Lipstixx,"

“Fuck you,” I say shaking my head. Lipstixx was a trashy strip club off the freeway. The only person who I knew went there was Cody and that was only because he used to buy coke there.

“You got her buried in the backyard then ?,” he laughs.

“You have a dark sense of humor,” I tell him.

“Is everything okay ?,” he finally asks in a genuine tone.

I try to figure out how to tell him what happened, but I’m saved by my cell phone ringing. I look down and see the number is blocked out as classified and a rush of anxiety comes over me. The only numbers that came up on my phone as classified were from my job.

 

***

Juliana

The Jefferson Parish Detention Center was nothing compared to the federal facilities I’d been bounced around in for three years in Florida but I use the same tactics to keep me sane.

There was no order and the jail was mostly a room of bunk beds, a common room and a cafeteria. Most of the women were drug offenders and  were too busy going through withdrawal to bother me. I’d never seen heroin withdrawal before and I’d heard one woman describe the pain as if her entire body was trying to flip inside out. I didn’t think I’d go through withdrawal since I took so little, but I e-mailed Brad before I left to hide the heroin in a pen and mail it to the  jail with a notebook.

On the first day I found a table in the common room and sat there the entire day pretending like I was mute and not talking to anyone. On the second day I bring my  notebook and pen, sit in the same chair and write. I didn’t know if I was good writer but I wanted to get everything out so I could type it and send it to Rocket to see if she could use any of it in her book about United Light.

I wrote everyday of my 10 day sentence as a distraction. Sometimes I wrote about UL, other times I wrote letters to people I’d never send and sometimes I just made random doodles. I  had to push Rhett and Mason out of my mind.

I  was furious at Rhett at first for making me take the fall for his mistake, but I also knew he felt bad about it and it was better I be here than him. He couldn't have a felony on his record and I shouldn't have let him drive. He’d actually cried when I told him I had to go to jail.

 I didn’t want much from Rhett anymore. I just wanted him to stop drinking and I wanted to write.  I wanted to explain  United Light from my perspective with my own words and Rocket had promised me that.

I’m released after 8 days and I have five spiral notebooks filled with my own UL memories and random doodles.  Rhett is standing in the jail’s parking lot in jeans and a gray t-shirt leaning against Jocelyn’s Camry. He has a big bouquet of expensive looking flowers in his arms. I’m still angry with him, but  my instincts get the better of me and I hug him. He silently gives me a small box, I open it so see a brown leather watch. The watch that fits easily over my wrist and covers the brand.

“Hey,” he says, kissing my cheek

“Hi,” I respond and peek into the backseat of the car. “Where’s Mason ?,”

“I left him with .Aubrey. I thought we could go and get a car today,” he says.

“Why didn’t you get a new car already ?,” I ask.

“Figured I’d let you pick it out,” he tells me with a weak smile

“Why ? I don’t have a license anymore,” I say and I realize it sounds childish. His smile fades.

“Sorry-,” I start.

“Stop apologizing,” he cuts me off.

We drive in silence to a used car lot in the New Orleans city limits. Our salesman  is a sullen, graying, middle aged man who never answers my questions. He’s not immune to Rhett’s charm and by the time we schedule a time for Rhett to come pick the car up they are laughing like old friends. In the end I pick a truck almost exactly like the one we had

On the way back I make Rhett stop at the diner where I’d gone after Amber's dress fitting and peer pressured myself into ordering a salad. This time I order the  hushpuppies.

“I guess we should really talk about this ?,” he says. "About us."

“I don’t want to talk about it. All I want is for you to stop drinking and you to let me work with Rocket,”

I can tell it makes him angry but he is backed into a corner.

“I like Olsen," Rhett says, which surprises me. "But she’s still a journalist. She needs to make money and she’ll want all the dirty details,”

“Rhett, there is nothing dirty," I assure him.  "I told her I'd talk about UL not about what I did in Florida.

He looks up.

“Will you send me everything you send her ?,” he asks.

“Fine,” I agree

We’re silent as our food comes. I order a slice of cake to take to Mason.

“What did you tell everyone ?,” I ask.

“About what ?,” Rhett asks.

“About where I was,” I say.

He looks confused and it’s alarming.

“I told them the truth,” he says slowly

Suddenly I’m furious.

“Why would you do that ?,” I ask.

“Are you fucking kidding me ?  I thought that is what you would have wanted. Jesus Christ, Juliana, you've been arguing with me over wanting to be more honest--,”

“This is different--,”

“Not really--,"

“In what world would I want your family to know I was in jail--,”

"What the hell was I supposed to say--,"

"Anything--,"

“Make up your mind, J. You’re driving me fucking insane," he shouts

I hear footsteps and look up to see a man in a clean polo shirt and khakis coming up to us. He has a manager badge on. Right behind him I can see the hostess staring at me.

Rhett reaches across the table and takes my hand.

“Are we about to get kicked out ?,” Rhett asks the manager jokingly.

“Ya’ll  just need to keep it down,” the manager tells us.

“Guess, we get a little impassioned,” Rhett admits and gives the manager a reassuring smile.

 When the manager leaves I walk to the hostess stand and ask her to make our order to go.

“Everything good ?,” the hostess asks

“Everything’s fine," I say, forcing a smile

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