Okay, so in this chapter Sawyer was just released on a $50,000 bond for his involvement in the meth lab explosion and will have to report for arraignment. Julianna, enticed by the money, had her first night at the club owned by Sid. She danced and then a man gave her $200 to have oral sex. They still owe Caine, they just got kicked out of hotel because the owner saw some of Sawyer’s drug making stuff and more charges seem to just keep piling up…this story is darker than I remember.
I put my items on the front of the counter, 1 bottle of pills, 1 tube of cream and a prepaid cellphone.
“178.87” The woman behind the counter said, feeling dejected I handed her the money She handed me back my receipt and a white piece of cardboard paper.
I looked at it.
A coupon for 3$ generic next time.
So in the last chapter, Sawyer has to get a 94$ cream prescription for his burns and then some morphine pills, so this number is too low.
I hoped there wouldn’t be a next time. I walked back to the front of the drugstore where Sawyer was standing.
Except for the scar across his cheek and that he was wearing a dark long sleeve shirt and jeans in 97 degree weather he looked back to his old self.
He is hiding the burns
But, I knew he wasn’t.
He mumbled something to me, I knew what it was even though I couldn’t comprehend his words.
“178,” I said.
We headed out the door and back to the bus stop. The bus stop was one of the newer stops and had a bench where we could sit and wait. When we sat down I started to tear into the plastic surrounding the cell phone I had just purchased. I got one of the ends torn apart and scraped my hand on the plastic.
“Ouch.”
Sawyer turned to look at me.
“I’ll do it,” he said, taking the still securely wrapped phone out of my hands.
I wanted there to be this animosity between them. I mean Sawyer, who usually does the right thing, really screws up.
I looked around the area, this was the closest drugstore the bus went to; it was the first time I had seen this place. We were in between a parkway and a shopping center with the CVS, a Goodwill and other tiny shops like cash checking offices and insurance salesman. On the other side of the parkway was an Inn advertising, daily rates.
I tried to set a scene.
“Look, there is a motel like the other one,” I said pointing across the street, “We should go look inside.”
Elisa’s landlady had knocked on the door to find us that morning. She told us Elisa was late on her rent and if she didn’t pay soon she was shutting off the power. We promised to relay the message.
So, in the last chapter, they went to Elisa’s place and stayed there after the hotel kicked them out. In retrospect, they should have just gone there in the first place.
“I guess we can,” He said, handing me the small pink cellphone.
My first cell phone I had bought all by myself
I think she gets a cellphone so they can communicate better when they are apart. I can’t remember when I made this decision as the phone doesn’t come up much.
We walked over to the building, The MockingBird Motel II , it wasn’t as nice as the Orange Blossom Inn.
This isn’t a real hotel, I’m not sure where the name comes from. I do know I once saw a hotel with Roman Numerals after the name and I thought it was funny for some reason and lifted it.
The man behind the front desk seemed very upfront when he saw us.
28.00$ a night.
We had to pay by the week
If we were to loud or even made too much noise we were out.
He made us pay for one week ahead of time, because we showed up with no luggage and he didn't trust us.
He showed us into the room. The carpet had holes in it, there was still only one bed.
The room was smaller but, this one at least had a mini refrigerator.
“This absolutely sucks,” Sawyer said as he opened the pill bottle and shook out some of the bright orange pills.
“It’s not so bad.” I said.
So, I guess when writing this I wasn’t worried about subtly and Sawyer just monologues some of the themes of this section for me.
“It’s not just this, I had everything I was on my way to the American Dream and suddenly this happens. If this is to prove that I’m not a strong person then fine, I’m not.” he said, I was sure he was talking to himself, “But I don’t see any recovering from this , there is no coming up from this.”
This had turned from a small bump in the road to an entire detour.
I opened the refrigerator door to see a left over Cola and sandwich. I quickly shut it.
“I think we need to talk,” Sawyer said.
“Okay,” I
“Okay, you sit her and I’ll sit here,” he said motioning to the bed. It was weird being in the same bed with him.
Sawyer is bossy. But, he needs to control situations. Also, he feels responsible for tangling Juliana into this.
“First things first math girl, what are we looking at money wise ?”
“Well, cash in my hand I have 76 dollars. And your bank accounts—
“Are frozen so, it’s irrelevant.”
“Oh, well then 76 dollars.”
“Is it bad that I am about to get charged for making drugs but . . . I want to do it again?”
“I think so.”
“It’s just the money is so easy and I would be more careful and then—no, this is stupid. So where did you go with Sid last night ?”
I didn’t say anything. Last night seemed like a dream.
“If you were at his sleazy club, it’s okay I know about it.”
“He let me work there,” I said, being honest.
“What the hell is wrong with you ? God, Juliana how could you do that ?”
“I just wanted to help. It’s legal right?” I was silently taking a jab at him.
“Yeah, but it’s degrading I mean you know those men see you as a thing, do you get that?”
“No” I said,” And don’t explain it to me because I don’t want to get it. They treat me nicely, they seem no different than you.”
“ They are very different from me. You can’t go back there, I won’t let you. Those guys are different they could kill you, you have no idea the shady guys Sid let’s in there. I mean if they lured you outside or something they could really hurt you.”
“ I don’t think that’s true.”
She know it isn’t
“You don’t know enough . . . you don’t know anything,” he said
“I went with this man into his car and he was nice, he even paid for my ride home.”
“I really want to shake you, you don’t get it,” Sawyer said, “He probably paid the cab driver to tell him where you lived so he could come back to find you. What did you do in his car ?”
I didn’t say anything.
“All I wanted was the money,” I said.
“You gave some random man your virginity, you let him use you for money, you don’t know how bad that is,”
,”I never even took my clothes off,” I told him
“Listen, you can’t go back. I refuse to see you like this.”
“Isn’t it if I’m 18 it’s legal.?”
“You aren’t real world 18, I mean you lived your whole life in books and in your room, you obviously have no conception of right and wrong.”
“You did something wrong too.”
“yeah,but the only mistake I made was getting caught or involving too many people.”
“So,you can do something wrong but, I can’t ?”
“I’m just concerned about you, okay ? I guess I need to know if I’m not here you will be okay.”
“Where are you going ?”
“This was what I want to tell you, I have to go to court tomorrow. I have an arraignment”
“What’s that ?”
“It’s where they ask me if I’m guilty of possession of crystal meth and I say guilty.”
“Then what ?”
“Then they give me a sentence like, probation or community service or some kind of program. Or most likely a huge fine”
“What does all that mean ?”
“We’ll worry about that when we get to it.”
“When is the arraignment ?”
“ Tomorrow afternoon.”
“Can I go ?”
“No you have to work I’ll be fine. Let’s go back to Elisa’s place and get our stuff and, I need to see if Sid has a suit I can borrow.”
I have no idea why that section is straight dialogue. However I noticed that when I was writing as Sawyer I did the ‘he said, she said, he asked, she asked’ thing a lot more.
We walked back to the bus stop and were back at the Diner in 15 minutes. The Mockingbird was the perfect distance between Miami and San Costa.
Sawyer went to Sid’s door while I went upstairs to get our stuff. The apartment was very cozy I hoped someone lived there again. I heard Sid and Sawyer having harsh words downstairs. I hurried downstairs Sawyer was holding a suit in his hand but, they both looked defensive
Sawyer borrows a suit from Sid for his arraignment, because he sold all his.
“You don’t know anything, we appreciate your help but, just leave us alone.”
“I am just worried, I can give her tomorrow off you can sleep on my couch,”
“You’ve done enough,” Sawyer said
“Don’t be such a bitch, man” Sid said, “Just take my help,”
“I don’t need your god damn help,” Sawyer said
Sawyer saw me coming behind him.
“Let’s go,” He said
“Wait!”, Sid called after me.
“Look if you want to work tonight at the club you can,” he said to me, “You were very popular.”
My break from reality been a short stint, how long could I keep it up ?
“Okay I-“
“No,” said Sawyer,” Didn’t we just talk about this ?No you can’t. She can't”
“I want to. I have to, “ I said to Sawyer,
“Right,” Said Sid, “Well, hey I mean you can come too Sawyer, on me . . . . I mean it’s cool.”
“No, it’s not.”
“It’s innocent man,”
“Thanks for the suit,”
“Yeah, hey good luck or . . . “
Sawyer headed down the steps and I followed.
When we got back to the Mockingbird Sawyer laid on the side of the bed and he took another of the bright orange morphine pills and started opening the jar of cream the pharmacist had given us.
“Does it hurt ?” I asked
“Yeah it does.” He said, “ You may want to look away,”
“It’s okay. I can help”
“You have to put these gloves in,” he said, “ You can’t get this on your skin, it’s Silvadene it’s a drug”
I had to Google a skin cream for burns…oh the pictures
As I put the rubber gloves on Sawyer unbuttoned his shirt and I saw the same patches of white gauze, he began to take the gauze off.
Sawyer, I should probably be a better writer and stop having you explain everything. But here you go…
“So, that guy who cut me, he knocked over some chemicals and they exploded,” he said. He was talking but, I was sure it was for his own benefit not mine, “And an electrical fire just sprang out and flames jumped onto my body. I would have been okay had I relaxed but . . . I freaked out and tried to get out of the burning building and when I was outside I remembered to stop drop and roll. I could feel my skin bubbling it—sorry I’m grossing you out aren’t I ?”
“A little bit,”
I saw the white blisters on the red skin but, they didn’t bother me as much as I thought they would and as I applied the cream I heard him grinding his teeth. I knew those scars weren’t going to go away. I felt so bad for him. I did the same thing on the scars on his arm and the one on his lower back.
“You’re a good nurse,” he said, “ You’d make a good nurse—no wait, doctor.”
“I don’t think so,”
He put his shirt back on and took another pill.
“Does it hurt, still ?”
“Yeah but, these help . . . a lot.” He said and twirling the pills in his hand.
He did that for 20 minutes while I layed against the bed.
“Julie, I think we should just break bad ? You know ?”
Okay, I wrote this before Breaking Bad really took off I’d like to say. I mean it was on, but it wasn’t this cultural milestone.
“What do you mean ?”
“I think we both have our vices and we can make a lot of money from them. Those men at Sid’s club—they are ignorant jerks. They put all their sins out on a Sunday before they have to go back to their real life on Monday. Let’s take advantage of that.”
“How ?”
“We set these men up with you and then you convince them to buy meth from me,”
“I don’t want to hurt anyone; I don’t want to do drugs”
“We won’t hurt anybody and you don’t actually have to do the drugs. Think about it let’s put all our vices out there.”
Hm, this is an ironic title drop for what I’m working on now
“How would we find these people”
“I can set up and ad online somewhere, where all the rich guys go when they want to be discreet. We both won’t do anything we haven’t already done. What do you say ?”
“Okay,” I agreed.
I agreed to make him happy but also because it seemed like for the first time we were working together.
So, I wrote this while watching a shameful amount of MSNBC docs. Some on crime, a lot on cults and a few on how cops catch drug dealers and prostitutes. In one of them they actually caught people by using a craigslist ad.
11.2
“This is the sleaziest thing I have ever seen in my life.” Sawyer said as we walked in The Penthouse. Sid was already sitting on one of the couches having a drink.
“You couldn’t stay away could you, man ?” Sid said slapping him on the shoulder
I was learning their disagreements didn’t last much more than 5 minutes after they were over.
“Can I get you a drink ?”
“No, “ said Sawyer, “I want to stay close to Juliana,”
“Okay, hey lighten up. You stay here at the bar, I’ll force a drink out of you and I’ll walk Juliana to the back.”
Sid put his arm around my waist and led me to the back of The Penthouse
“So, like what do you think is going to happen to him ?” Sid asked as soon as we were out of Sawyer’s earshot. He is referring to the arraignment.
“I can’t talk to you about that,”
I knew I had let Sid in too far telling him about the marriage. He could easily find out more and he talked a lot and always needed money I would have to work on distancing myself.
As I had walked around during the first few hours of my first day , I noticed each of the rooms had a circular couch which had at most 6 men at a time watching.
But the one I was in today was different it had 7 men, one who was standing far from the couch sipping on beer.
I didn’t know what normal was but, I didn’t act different except I stole glances at Sawyer every now and then but he was very into his beer label.
I didn’t change anything I had done the day before. I was never a dancer I just leaned against the pole and I let them take control, this was their fantasy and Sid was right, they were happy to tip when I just looked at them.
I spent 3 hours with a number of faceless men.
At 10 PM When we were leaving I saw Sid was in his usual position, sleeping on a couch with a glass in his hand.
“And he wonders why he never got promoted in 8 years.” Sawyer muttered under his breath.
We had worked out a plan other wise
I walked out the back door like I usually did and Sawyer went out the front door.
“Um, excuse me.” I turned around to see a man in his 40’s coming towards me
“Hi,” I said,
“Hey, so – this guy told me about—“
“Yeah, okay,” I agreed and I took his hand, he gave out a soft laugh and then recomposed himself.
Sawyer had left to a cyber café for a few hours to create the online ‘ad’ but, he did not tell me what was in it. He just told me to be myself but, I was confused as to who myself was.
“Where are we going ?” I asked
“My car is that, I mean I though-“
“No, okay,” I agreed
He pointed to a white SUV.
“It’s an S class, brand new”
I wanted to show he was rich
As we almost reached it I saw Sawyer coming up to us. He looked at the man.
“Do you guys want to make your night a little more fun ?” he asked.
“No, thanks” the man said.
“No, we should, please?” I said never changing my tone.
In my head, Juliana is talking a lot like Kristen Stewart—mildly disinterested.
“Um, fine 60,I guess ?”
“100” I whispered
The man laughed and then pulled out his wallet
They made a transaction ; $100. The man stopped and studied the bag, taking one of the crystals out
“Nazi ?” He asked, Sawyer
“Red, white and blue .” Sawyer answered and walked away
These are methods of making meth. You know how writers joke that the CIA is putting them on a watch list for the things they Google….welll…this is mine. I went on so many drug making forums.
“That was nice of you,” I said
I went into his car, more screens more tacky things than a car needed.
“We can use a condom,” he said, “Can I tell you what to do ?”
I nodded my head.
He was just like 3rd guy.
“Do you want to smoke now, baby doll ?” he asked me when he was done, a big grin on his face as he stroked my hair.
Yes, I faded to black.
“No, I actually have to get home. Maybe next time.”
“Oh, a curfew ? Well, I’ll give you some of this shit then,” he said handing me a bag of the crystals along with a 100$
I added this to make the men look extra stupid, I guess. I mean he just gave her back meth she is going to sell again.
He offered me a ride back but I said I was getting a ride from somebody inside and walked out of the car.
I barely made it back to the entrance of the club when a pair of men walked up to me.
“You are too pretty to be doing this, pumpkin, ” one of them said
I didn’t respond.
“ You are . . . . just like I imagined. So, will you do everything ?” he asked
I shook my head.
These two looked younger than the other men I had seen around, but they weren’t exactly handsome. One was noticeably overweight and one was shorter and balding.
“I know a place,” The balding, shorter man said
“ Is it far ?”
“No, it’s this club next door, I have an in.”
“Can we get some metha-uh, glass first,” I said, “For fun”
“You are harder than you look, littlel girl”
“I know a person.”
As we walked down the street I introduced him to Sawyer and when they each had 80 dollars less in their wallets we walked into a club, The 10th Circle, there was a list to get in. The club had shades and small corners everywhere
10th circle…dante...hell..see what I did there…
“Me first than,Frank,” said the overweight one as they went into one of the corners
So, the balding short one was Frank
This time was different, the overweight man said things to me I had to ignore. I let them go in one ear and out the other.
Frank was like 3rd guy.
“How about for another 100 or so, you just hang out with us, here. We can take your meth for a test drive.”
100 dollars just to sit ?
I followed them to the bar area and sat at one of the tables.
I watched as he sat at a table and crushed the crystals into a powder with a salt shaker, I looked around no one seemed to care. They were staring at me and the men I was sitting in between more than the illegal drugs.
He took a straw and cut it, putting it in his nose, he sucked up the powder and them blinked his eyes like he was in pain.
I looked around for a way out in case I had to run.
“Woo, that is good,” he said smiling
He passed the straw to me.
“No thanks,” I said.
“Right, a lady, You have lip stuff or something”
I gave him the tube of sparkly pink lipstick Sid had given me the other day. He put the crystals in it like Sid had day before and when he lit it, the same curious white smoke floated out,”
“Just, relax and breathe honey,”
There is a whole section on these forums of how to smoke drugs using different things.
I pretended to but, they were both already addicted and lost their patience and ended up smoking it all At the end of an hour of sitting and touching them under the table he slipped a card and $200 in my hand.
I went out to the front door, the man with list said he would be more than happy to add me to the list and asked my name but I declined.
As I made my way outside I saw Sawyer pacing outside, a beer bottle in his hand
“The hell were you in there for so long ?”
I was about to answer when someone who had followed me out of The 10th Circle put his hand on my shoulder.
It amazed me how late people prowled the street.
“You trying to sell this sweet girl, drugs ?” the man asked Sawyer.
“she isn’t customer,” Sawyer said,”She doesn’t have any money”
“I can fix that,” said the man
He gave Sawyer 50 dollars and whispered in my ear to follow him.
It amazed me how these people prowled the streets.
The man told me his name was Bradley and that he owned a lot of businesses in the area.
Oh, god Brad. I love and hate you at the same time. I’m not even sure I intended to bring him back, so I’m not sure why he gets a name.
He was talkative.
I had completely detached myself the rest of the night. I was approached by many other older gentlemen who seemed to be too good to do something so looked down upon on. The only time I felt it was when I was in a car and the man had to put a car seat in the trunk.
I never went past my limits but , I was also asked to do things that I couldn’t see the appeal in or what made it worth so much money to the men but I felt happy and it was fun, if only for the moment.
11.3
When I saw it was getting to be past 1, I found Sawyer and we headed for the Metro and caught the last bus. When we got to the hotel room I saw even Sawyer was letting out the smile I had seen him stifling the whole trip back.
“This is crazy we made like-“
“over 2500 dollars in cash tonight.” I said, I was smiling too.
“You and your math. I can’t believe those douches would pay so much just for a blow job—I mean not that you aren’t pretty.”
So, close he almost complemented me.
“I mean I hated seeing you in that club like that but, well you should know you were way better looking than those other women.”
Good enough.
“Thanks,” I said,”I feel really really good, is that weird ?”
“You may have inhaled a little too much smoke.” He said
“I didn’t, I only pretended to,”
“I know but, I mean it is smoke. Anyway what do you think those sons of bitches see in you to pay so much for you to be with them ?,” he asked
Sawyer is drunk. I realize now this is the rudest question ever.
“I have no idea, is having someone do that to you really fun ?”
“You are very chatty tonight,” he observed, “ I don’t know, I guess any kind of intimacy is worth a lot.”
“I’m excited,” I said “ I can’t believe all the money we made. I mean if we did this from the beginning we would have made Cain’s money in a month.”
“Yeah, but I’d be risking life and limb to cook meth,”
“And I’d have to be called baby and cupcake by strangers.”
“It wouldn’t kill you though,” Sawyer said jokingly, he seemed looser.
He laid down on the bed and lined up the pillows next to him
I let out a short laugh. What was he doing ?
“I think we can keep to our sides, right?” Sawyer said
“I can.” I agreed
Sawyer picked up one of the 100 dollar bills out of his bag, and held it between his fingers, twirling it around
Hm, it’s about to get awkward, but it was sexy in my head.
“Is this how it’s done ?” he said, “ Those pathetic douchebags at the club, when they want you to pay attention to them. I mean how do they learn this ? Does holding this--money-- really make a girl suddenly interested in climbing in someone’s grandfather’s lap”
“I don’t know,” I said. “ I think they hold it higher and fold it like this-- let the number show and then—“
I sat on to his lap and started unbuttoning his shirt
“You’re supposed to take your clothes off, I’m the one who has the money” he said, amused
“Right,” I said, I took off my sweater and tied it around his eyes (something I never actually did in the club) , I pulled of my shirt and slipped out of the tiny skirt, easily.
“Do I get my money, now ?” I asked, smiling
He was laughing
“No,” he laughed “I want the whole deal so what um, and then you what do that fake kiss thing ?”
“Yeah,” I said, “ And what I do is I make it more real for the most money,”
He put a 20 in my face, just like the men in the club; he had been watching.
I caressed his cheek with mine.
He pulled out a fifty I let my lips rest on his face.
He pulled out a hundred, I licked my lips and grazed his face for a little while longer.
He took the rest of the money out of the bag and it spilled all over the bed, it fluttered around the bag and to the ground
I laughed.
“You ‘d laugh ?” he said, amused “If I were that guy I’d just walk out, taking my money with me,”
Okay, so Sawyer is kind of making me mad, because he is openly flirting with her now.
I rolled my eyes.
What would I do for that much money ?
I kissed his cheek.
“You’re a slut aren’t you ?” he joked
His tone changed to his more usual serious one,
“Okay get of me, I have to be downtown for the arraignment in the morning.”
I didn’t, I kissed his lips, they weren’t perfectly soft and I could smell the beer on his breath. I was still teasing him but he pushed his face in mine and his tongue forcefully pushed itself into my mouth. He put his hands around his waist and fell over so he was lying on the bed and I was lying next to him---on the pillow barrier he had just made earlier.
He pulled away and laughed. He was trying to turn this back into us playing but, I wasn’t convinced it was.
He picked up the morphine bottle and took two more pills out before turning over in the bed.
I watched him wondering if he was going to turn back around to look at me.
I was woken up by the sounds of the busy park way, I looked at the clock.
6:45.
I turned around to see Sawyer asleep he arms outreached he was fully dressed.
I looked to see I had fallen asleep wearing the ridiculous pink under wear set, I quickly got up and took a shower washing all the mixed colognes from last night off me. I went back into the room and put my work clothes on as quietly as possible. As I looked around for where I had left my sneaker I saw Sawyer’s eyes were open.
“You drooled,” I said.
I expected to laugh but he wasn’t in a playful mood anymore.
“Sawyer?”
He lay there, I went over to shake him but, he pushed me away.
“I’m sorry,” he said, he wasn’t talking about the push.
“Are you okay ?”
“Yeah, I’m just trying to figure out what happened.”
“I have to go to work.”
“You should, we can talk about this later.”
I headed out of to the bus and made it to work by 7:35.
“What are you doing here ?” Sid asked me.
“Was I not supposed to come in today ?”
“Juliana, I know about--” He looked over a Caylen who was putting the specials up and he lowered his tone, “Sawyer’s thing, today you can have the day off.”
“No, it’s fine. I don’t want to see some boring court thing anyway.”
“Well, I’m your boss and I am telling you to take the day and go. Even if he won’t say it he wants someone there and well he’s less likely to kick your ass so . . .”
As I walked out I saw my worlds colliding. One of the men from last night was coming towards the diner. I couldn’t remember his name or what he had done but, he was coming right at me and I was frozen.
“Julie ?” he asked
“Um, yes ?” I said.
“Hey, I was looking for you, Sid told me you worked here.”
Oh right, Bradley he had told me he knew Sid, because they both worked in some of the same circles
“Listen, I was going to offer you a more permanent position, it’s just you are very popular they like them young.”
They ?
“I can’t I work here.”
“So, split your time. You’ll make good money with the late night weekday crowd. There’s a senator’s convention blowing through town.”
“I don’t think so, “ I said, I saw the bus pulling into the stop
“I have to go,” I said walking past him but, he took my hand
“Just think about it, Monday, Thursday and Friday in addition to Saturday Nights. Unless you like waking up at the crack of dawn to serve heart attacks to bratty kids and truckers ?”
I tried not to be mesmerized by his offer as I watched my bus leave without me.
11.4
I like this picture, so I’m keeping it in.
I caught the next bus 20 minutes later and I went back to the Mockingbird and went across to the Goodwill, I saw a knee length khaki skirt and polo shirt for 5 dollars each and put them on in the apartment with my sandals and headed downtown. This outfit comes back.
I had always passed the stop Judicial Center but, never gotten out. When I got there I was surprised at how nice these buildings looked, all of them were white with black writing on them
So this is law ?
I walked inside and after making it through security I peered into rooms but, realized I had no idea where I was supposed to be going. I saw a man sitting at a desk and I asked him where I would find someone who had an arraignment. He directed me to a judge’s secretary where I was directed to a court room but, they said I was late.
I quietly went inside, no one looked back at me. I sat in the very back and could not see much but, I could make out the back of Sawyer’s head, I tried to get into what was being said.
“ Your actions caused the pain and suffering of a family and I am sick of the illicit activities of people taking away our city’s good offerings, there needs to be a higher bar set and for that I am giving you 8 months in jail, You will be held custody until intake with possibility of parole. I hate to see a good man like yourself go down but, hopefully you will learn.”
I heard murmuring of the people up front and the judges saying more and then I saw it. Sawyer in handcuffs.
They led him past me and out the courtroom door he caught my eye and I followed. When I got outside they were taking the handcuff off and Saywer grabbed me in a tight hug.
“What’s going on ?’
“I am so sorry, honey” he said
“What is going on ? “ I repeated
“That judge, he is kind of a hard ass, he gave me the maximum, this is bull shit. I can’t explain it all to you now but, I have to leave for a while. Go to a correctional facility”
“What ? When ?”
“Now. They think I’m a flight risk because I don’t have a permanent address but, it’s okay I’ll just go, it will be okay.”
“Where are they taking you ?”
“Dade County. It’s a little outside of here,”
“Put you didn’t do anything wrong”
“Yes, I did. I just never thought I’d have to pay for it”
“What are we supposed to do ?”
“You go back to the Diner and just the diner and work, and when I can I’ll call you and we will figure everything else out. You can go back and get the money back from the bonds,so that’s good.”
“This is happening really fast.”
“I know, If I knew this could happen I would have . . . I don’t know.”
“Alright let’s go,” the officer said and put the handcuffs back on. I watched as they led him away.
I saw a woman in a suit clacking towards me
“Mrs. Miller!” she called to me.
She stopped just short of me
“Hi, I’m Helen I’m one of the legal consultants, how are you holding up ?”
“I’m confused, is this normal ? Can they just take him away. Sawyer didn’t do anything wrong, he’s a good person he—he had a good reason, he really did”
“Well, there were a few people who got hurt ,a fireman got injured pretty badly because of what Sawyer did--”
Phil and Miriam.
“—and they made a compelling case to the judge but, I know we will get him out early. The problem came with your addresses not checking out, so it’s important you stay at your current address, it will help. And you have every legal right to see him, so you can have plenty of visitation, I will e-mail you all the information do you have an e-mail address ?”
I didn’t. I never had.
She gets on for Rhett though!
I shook my head no
“Okay well, I’ll send it to your address,”
She explained to me how to get to the jail and everything that went with it but, I wasn’t listening, it was all lost on me. All I knew was I was going to be alone again.
I went back to the apartment and the silence was already bothering me. The sheets on the bed had already been changed by the staff, like last night never happened.
It hadn’t and if it did it didn’t matter.
I turned the television to MTV, the loudest channel I could find.
I watched the girls in the music videos wearing suggestive clothing, covered in diamonds, throwing themselves at these men for the world to see. How was what I was doing any worse than that ?
I think at some point I wanted to make comment on media’s idea of sexuality and stuff, but it never materialized.
I went to the Diner the next morning and after Sid asked me for 3 hours straight I told him what happened with Sawyer. Sid got a little laugh out of it but, he was to self-involved to truly care.
I saw Bradley sitting at the counter drinking coffee.
“Hi,” I said
“Hey, pumpkin, you look tired. Early morning ?” he asked.
Brad’s a creeper. I was also watching To Catch A Predator a lot. I mean A LOT.
“I want to take you up on your offer,”I said
“That’s great, I just came in here to settle some business with Sid but, this is a double treat.”
“Can I get anything else for you ?”
“Yeah, maybe some orange juice. This latte sucks.”
“I think that’s decaf coffee” I pointed out
After my shift I saw my phone had a message from Sawyer. He wanted me to come and see him as soon as I got off work and to bring his prescriptions.
It took a 50 minute bus ride to finally get to the Dade county jail. It was an ugly building in the middle of nowhere but, there was a bus stop right in front. I went in and told the officer at the front who I wanted to see.
“You’re late,” the officer told me.
“I took the bus, I got lost,” he said
“That’s no excuse. Don’t let it happen again.”
“I’m sorry,” I said.
He led me into a room where there were tables and chairs set up, no glass panes. I took a seat at the chair and I saw Sawyer. It was weird seeing him dressed like that like all the other criminals. Real Criminals.
I have no idea why the C is capitalized.
“Is this is really happening ?”he said to me.
I nodded my head.
“How are you feeling ?”He asked
“Angry and selfish.”
“You want to talk about it?”he asked
“I’m mad that this had to happen. All of it. I want to do what I want all day, I hate waiting tables I want all my stuff back, I want a home, I want my own room, I want my clothes, all my gifts-“
“Well, actually those were our gifts.”
“I thought I hated being sheltered and I did but, it’s better than whatever this is.” I said
“Are you going to do something, big ?” he asked
“No. Helen says staying in one place will help you get out so, I will just see where we are at the end of the month.” I said
“Anything else ?”
“I’m going to work at the diner and doing other things.”
“ I wish you wouldn’t do other things. Why do you have to tell me stuff like that ?”
“I didn’t like when you lied to me so I’m trying not to do the same thing. We need the money—I want the money, the attention. I won’t do anything I don’t want to.”
“Okay, I can’t stop you. I just don’t want you to regret this.”
“I won’t. “ I said
“I don’t have much money for phone calls but, I can call you when I can so, can you try to pick up. So, I know something hasn’t happened to you,”
“I will.”
Okay, so you guys at this point I had written myself into a corner. I had no idea where I was going from here. It took me forever to come up with switching the POV. This was my second worst case of being stuck. I had a worse one later on.
11.5
*** 1 Month Later***
It was the hottest day in Florida.
Even the grass looked thirsty.