http://shawnaharrison.blogspot.com/2009/09/still-trotting-along.html

Okay, so previously...Sawyer and Julianna owe Cane $50,000 dollars for Julianna's fredoom (or really more so her "innocence now that I think on it because he does try to rape her at one point *cringe*) and to get Sawyer's girlfriend Elisa out. Sawyer went to jail for selling meth and just got out. While he was in jail Julianna stole the money from her rich "friend" with an S&M fetish, Brad. Sawyer gets out and  they go back to the commune to get Elisa and Julianna fakes being pregnant so they can all leave the commune safely. They've returned to Florida and Elisa is getting her job back at the diner.

But Julianna is acting strange since they got back...she is delirious, sick, sensitive to light. While at the diner Sawyer looks up to see she has stumbled outside and right into traffic...

I couldn’t react fast enough. I felt myself moving before I even had the thoughts necessary to do it. I bolted out the door of the Diner just in time to hear a loud screech of brakes. My heart dropped, I knew there was no way I would be able to get to her fast enough.

I  was afraid I was going to see her body laying broken  on the black of the parkway. I looked behind me  and saw a black SUV at an irregular angle at the side of the road but, it didn’t look like the driver had ran into anything. I turned my attention back to the street where I saw Julie. I ran over to her, she looked unhurt and was kneeling, staring up, blankly into space. It almost looked like she was praying.

It's a personal thing, but the past tense first person in these sections has always bothered me. It sounds like someone giving a list. I just want to edit the crap out of these sentences.

“Juliana,” I said, shaking her a little to snap her out of it. She continued to stare into nothing, no responding. She must be in shock.

“Juliana,” I repeated but she didn’t respond.

Like this

We’re are in the middle of street so, I  picked her up and carryied her over to the Diner parking lot. I saw seeElisa was looking inside of the SUV, talking to the driver

“I’m called an ambulance!," Elisa shoutsed over to me.

“Okay. Are they okay ?”

She simply nodded and turned back to the person in the car. She was probably trying to comfort them, Elisa was always one to be good in a crisis.

I looked up to see everyone else was  coming outside of the diner watching curiously as the flashing lights of ambulance and police came.

I continued to call her name and  shake her but, she doesn't move. I knew I could feel a heartbeat. She had to be there I was almost convinced she was holding on to my shirt to hold herself up.

Finally a paramedic came and took her away from me.

I was about to follow but, the police told us not to leave until they took everyone’s statement, I told them the truth as far as I knew it.

 She just stood in the middle of the road.

I didn’t utter the word suicide but, I’m sure a few people did.

“Is the other guy hurt ?” I asked.  Hadn’t we hurt enough people ?

Oh, Past-Shawna you haven’t met Rhett, yet.

“I don’t think it’s too critical,” the officer informed me.

Elisa came up behind me.

“Hey, they took her to St. Vincent.” She said, “Let’s go.”

 I mean, it sounds like Sawyer is recounting a past story. I can’t unsee it.

I followed her to the car and sat in the passenger seat.

“I’m sorry, Elisa” I said

“It’s not the time,” Elisa responded

We pulled into a hospital.

I couldn’t get out of the car.

“Are you coming?” Elisa asked.

“Elisa, I am really scared, I think she is dead.”

“Don’t say that.”

“I’m being honest. Tell  me I’m crazy,”

“Sawyer there is only one way to find out.”

“Tell me I’m being crazy,”

She didn’t.

Elisa was always a great character I could never really write that much for.

She just  got out of the car and headed for the hospital doors. I did what she knew I would do.

 I followed behind her.

Elisa walked up to the front desk and motioned for me to talk.

“I’m looking for Juliana Miller, she came in on an ambulance,” I said

They told me I could find her in the Intensive Care Unit.

“That’s not good is it?” I said as we made our way down the hall.

“It’s better than the morgue,” Elisa said, leading the way.

So, this is what I put her through when  I called her with the burns. Hospitals were such scary places.

I looked around the room for her bed number

The first thing I saw were her eyes.

They were open. She was alive and that was good enough for me.

“How are you ?” I asked.

I  wanted to touch her, to comfort her but, I was caught between what was appropriate and what wasn’t with Elisa standing next to her.

What you can’t get from popping in the middle is how close they have gotten over time. Which is why they have this connection. I mean, Sawyer isn't a cheating jerk or anything.

“My head hurts, “ she said.

“You’re okay then ?”

“Am I ?”

“Excuse me ?,” a new voice said.

I turned around to see, a concerned looking man in his mid 40’s and judging by his badge a doctor.

“How badly was she hit?” I asked

“She wasn’t hit by the vehicle, Mr. Miller I presume?”

I shook my head.

“She had a seizure,” he explained

“No, she didn’t. She wasn’t shaking at all, she never has."

I regretted the she never has. I forgot I hadn't seen her in a month.

“Seizures come in many different forms, some people don’t even realize they are having them. They can be like losing time and look like a person is just spacing out.”

“Was the seizure . . . drug related?” I asked. I knew we were going to hear that diagnosis for the second time tonight only in a place that cost more.

So, earlier, in the chapter before this they went to a free clinic because Juliana was complaining and the nurse was rude to them and thought she was just a drug addict.

“No. She tested negative for any drugs,” the doctor said and turned to Julie, “Juliana you have a  condition called encephalitis.”

I feel like this happens on House a lot.

“What is that ?” I asked

“It’s basically an inflammation of the brain, it is very rare and it can be very serious sometimes fatal but we caught it  very early so you should be just fine. ”

“Can it make you act like you are on drugs ?” Elisa asked. I could tell she was feeling guilty about before, I put my arm around her.

“Well, it can be mostly flu-like symptoms but occasionally yes it can cause, personality changes, seizures, sensitivity to light headaches so yes, the same symptoms of drugs addiction”

“How did she get this ?” I asked

“Well, she has a version called herpes simplex encephalitis. So, it came from a rare complication with the the herpes virus.”

Elisa and I exchanged looks.

Okay, so I originally had Juliana as pregnant by Brad, but when I decided against it, I needed something that explained the symptoms, but was plausible. Hence this monstrosity.

“How did I get herpes ?”  Juliana asked,

“Well,  as I’m sure you know you can get it from just about any sexual activity,” the doctor said, although he didn’t know she most likely didn’t know "We will start her on an IV of drugs, she must stay here to be monitored and in a few days she can be released. The treatment is very straightforward Any questions ?”

She shook her head no and the doctor moved along.

What was his name ?

This was the end of my little jab at the American healthcare system.

I saw she had her head in her hands. For her this was the first time she was feeling the repercussions of her actions

“You’ll be fine. It’s over Juliana,” I told her

Elisa and I stayed as long as we could before we were kicked out and I promised to bring her needles and yarn to her.

I can’t remember when she starts knitting…bad writer.

Juliana

I felt like I had been missing for a long time and now I was back.

So, if you remember I hadn’t written in J’s POV in about 4-5 chapters. So, I went meta.

Also,  I notice a lot of the past tense stuff goes away too when I write in Julianna’s POV.

 Something was different. For the first time in a while I could concentrate again and for some reason the day seemed so much longer.

Or maybe it was because I was in a hospital room staring into space for most hours of the day.  The other people around me kept to themselves and slept mostly.

I looked around and surveyed the patients in the space with me, today. One of them was an older woamn asleep with a bed covered in Get Well Soon balloons, cards and stuffed animals. The woman across from me had a dresser filled with bright flowers arrangements,  even though I am sure she is in some kind of  coma. It was my second day in the hospital. It had been a lonely day and except for the questions from  nurses I hadn’t had much conversation.

I knew Sawyer was busy getting ready for his new job and trying to take care of getting his life back. He had stopped by earlier but, I was half asleep and barely remembered. He had said something about having  to get work clothes and filing paperwork.

Sawyer is working for the law firm that helped get him off.  One thing I notice is how scot-free Sawyer always comes off.

I didn't expect any company which and I was all to surprised when Sid walked in.

“Hey,” he said, approaching the foot of my bed.

“Hi,”

What could he possibly want from me ? I hadn’t spoken to him since I quit nearly 4 weeks ago. She quit to be with Brad.

“How are you ? Does it hurt ?”

“Fine,” I said, “No pain.”

“That’s good,”

I nodded.

“Look I know these bills must be outrageous and if you have to keep seeing a doctor it could cost you thousands of dollars -- I mean I saw Sicko — anyway the thing is  I want to offer you your job back.”

Odd reference

“At the Diner ?”

“uh, no— I can’t do that see Elisa is back and we can only afford 3 waitresses and to be honest I never got around to hiring another one after you left,” He explained, “ What I meant is I would offer you a job at the Penthouse.”

I thought back to the nights ago, all the temptation, the attention but, also to how in some extent in landed me here.  She got the STD from having oral sex outside the club…what happened to this story ?

“No thank you”  I said.

“ Do you really want me to beg ?  I mean, okay how about this we could use a waitress, you could work some of the day shifts. I'll even give you Wednesdays off.  This comes up A LOT The thing is  you are really good for business, I mean if you want to make it in clubland you have to have the best people and well . . . come on  just waitressing, it’s a nice spot.”’

“Sawyer wouldn’t like it.”

“Okay you know what ? Fuck Sawyer, okay ? ,” he said in a hushed voice, “ I mean what did he tell you to go to college and get some lame-ass dead end  soul crushing job like him ?”

“Not really,”

“Okay, well  trust me he will. I mean,  you took the SAT thing, right ?”

“No”

I’d always know what an SAT was from it being mentioned in passing but, my parents told me it was something I never had to worry about. They always talked badly  about how they had to sit through tests and all the competition of living outside the United Light. They were sure Caine would find something better for me.

“ Me either, I mean shit, I went to like some prep course that cost more than my car and I realized that if I have to pass this stupid test to be considered successful  then I don’t want any part in it,” He told me “Look, you will have a lot more fun and make more money working for me than you will wasting thousands of dollars on education. I mean Sawyer needs unclench and  get off his education high horse. I have money and I’m happy and I didn’t get that by being bored out of my mind for 4 years.”

Um, wow I’m starting to find Sid really dynamic character. I never noticed that. he was so faceted. In fact, a part of him is in Jean in Veritas, um Vice...I think.

I couldn’t believe this was the same man, who less than 24 hours ago was applauding Sawyer’s new job and giving away free alcohol. I will never understand Sawyer and Sid’s relationship.

But, I knew I could waitress at least for now, I was sure I had been some what good at it.

“Okay, “I agreed.

***

I was more than happy to get out of the hospital 2 days later.Everything felt clearer and I wasn’t missing time anymore. Sawyer had told me when I saw him yesterday that he would pick me up so I told him I was being released at 6 PM but, when they let me out at 4PM -- with a bill just over 100 dollars in hand -- I asked the nurse at the desk if I could make a phone call.

I have no idea why her bill is so cheap … I think she is on Sawyer’s insurance since they are technically married and he works for the law firm…but it’s a pre-existing condition so….hmmm.

The bill was the least of my problems. I called a cab and went back to the familiar cul-de-sac. I had something else to get off my chest now, I had to at least tell him. The doctor said even though what I had was rare it can be very deadly.

I  planned on leaving a note but,  I saw the usual blue Mercedes out front so I took the key out of my pocket and went inside, leaving the key on the end table by the door.

She has a key to Brad’s place.

I wasn’t coming back here.

“Brad,” I called. I shut the door behind me and went upstairs to his bedroom calling his name.

There was nothing I could catch him doing that he would mind.  I peeked into his bedroom to find it empty. I went into his desk and pulled out a notebook and pen  and defaulted back to writing the note.

“What are you doing in here ?”

I turned around not to see Brad,

But, Patrick. I saw he had a few of Brad’s blank checks in his hand. Everyone steals from Brad

“Hi,” I said

“What are you doing ?,” he repeated

“I’m looking for Brad,” I said, “I saw the car and the door was open. . . sorry”

“ My dad and I have the same car. Hey,you’re the hooker who was here before, what is it with you and my dad ?”

As you all know, Patrick was originally her new love interest. You know there is a tiny bit of Patrick in a Vice character…I mean, um. I’m sorry to tease you guys. I’m getting there, I’m getting there…

“I’m not a hooker,”   I said

“Is escort more politically correct?,”

“I don’t know. I’ll just go.”

I knew I should have called.

I headed out but I heard him running up behind me.

“Hey, I’m used to waking up to strangers in the house, you know,” he said  “I mean I get it , I guess I didn’t know my dear old stepfather was into jailbait.”

I was trying to distance Brad and Patrick’s relationship.

“I’ve never been to jail,” I said

“Never mind, so you work at the Penthouse don’t you ?”

I nodded.

“So, I apologized about before, right ?”

You apologized for your friends , not yourself.

Oh, that’s right. So while Sawyer is in jail  (this is in a flashback) Julianna has oral sex with Patrick  outside the club in his Hummer while a group of  his friends are jerks to her. She falls trying to get out of the car when it is over and the boys laugh and drive away. That is the night she decides she doesn't want to do that anymore and decides to live with Brad, who she doesn't realize is related to Patrick at the time.

But, if you remember when she finds out, she steals Patrick's stereo....that is a whole book in itself isn't it ?

I just nodded and continued for the door.

“Can I ask you a favor, Julia ? See I remembered your name.”

I turned around

“Okay, so one of my friends is turning 19 but, some of his friends are like 17 or whatever, could you just help us get in ?”

“I don’t think I can do that,” I said. It was the truth.

“It’s not those same clowns from  that one night, I mean most of them are college guys, frat guys with girlfriends. Its just a few of them are younger. You get us in , I’ll even pay you.”

I thought I was at the point where I wouldn’t be motivated by money. After all Caine had been paid off but, all the money was in Sawyer’s account and I didn’t want to have to make him pay my hospital bill.

“I guess I can try,” I finally agreed.

“It’s easy,” Patrick said,”Just tell the guy at the front we are with  you, bat your eyelashes or something and then they let us in. This is really cool of you, we are going this Friday, can I get your number, so I can contact you.”

“Okay,”

I gave him the number to my cell phone

“What was the message for my dad ?” he asked.

“Nothing, it can wait,” I lied. I could just text Brad and then block his number

“Want me to give you a ride back ?” Patrick asked,”I mean you have no idea how much you are helping us,”

“No “I said, “There is a cab outside waiting for me.

I got inside the cab and wait back  at the hospital. 30 minutes later a car pulled up with not just Sawyer but, Elisa too. I wasn’t too surprised. I hadn’t seen them apart since their reunion.

I walked up to the car and got in the backseat.

“. . .  but you should also get the blue tie because it makes people feel calm and that’s important , I read that. That’s why I wear turquoise to interviews.”

Hm, I guess I forgot blue was UL colors.

“That’s great and all but, I mean who spends that much on a piece of fabric you put around your neck. It’s not like I’m going to court ,does anyone really care what I look like ? ”

“Welcome to the professional world, Mr.Miller please leave your humanity at the door”

“Shut up, it is not like that,”

We were halfway back to the apartment before either one of them acknowledged me.

“So, did they give you any medication ?,” Sawyer asked

“No. I have to come back next week. Blood tests”

“I can’t believe you had something so bad,”Elisa sympathized

I was barely paying attention to what Sawyer and Elisa were saying after that. When we got back to the apartment, I saw Sawyer had some folders in his hands.

“Hey, Julie we need to talk,” he said taking a seat at the table.

I took the cue and sat across from him.

Elisa disappeared off into the kitchen, even though I had never seen her cook before.

“So, Julie  these are some divorce papers, I mean it’s nothing personal but I think we should get it done.” He said.

“Okay,”

I didn’t like it. I didn’t like the word divorce, like he didn’t want anything to do with me.

“I mean it will be pretty straightforward and fast, maybe take a month to finalize seeing as we didn’t own anything together.”

I just nodded my head and signed the papers. In her numerous pre-wedding talks my mother had told me I had to be a good wife because it would be so easy for Sawyer to leave especially if there was no baby. She warned me I would be left with nothing. As I sat there I wondered why she didn’t tell me to simply have some things of my own.

“Great,” Sawyer said as I signed the last paper. “ I’ll drop these off on my way to work tomorrow now, on to better news . We stopped by Shoreline Community College, I thought maybe you might want to start thinking about what you want to do with your life. It’s way cheaper than Coastal and easy to get to.”

 “Sid gave me my job back at the Penthouse.” I told him

“Juliana you are not going back there,”

“I didn’t take the SAT and Sid said—“

“Juliana don’t listen to what Sid says, he’s an idiot.  I mean you see what his life is like, right ? Education is more important than money, trust me.”

“Sid said you  would that,”

“Yeah, well he was right. You aren’t going anywhere near Sid or his club. Look what happened last time. I mean you got an STD.”

“ I want to go,”

“Too bad. You’re not going,” Sawyer said in a harsher tone

He got up from the table and headed out the door. When the door closed Elisa came out of the kitchen

So, Sid lives in the apartment below Elisa. In my head they are garden style.

“Where did he go ?”

I shrugged my shoulders.

She followed after him and I followed after her.

Sawyer was outside of Sid’s apartment arguing. Again.

“ . . . The hell is your problem ? You can’t let her work at your cesspit, again.”

“Dude, it’s not a fucking  cesspit and Juliana’s an adult she can do whatever she wants, It’s a classy place—“

“Did you miss the part where she got an STD ?”

“Occupational Hazzard—oh come on she could have gotten it from you. That was not directly my fault. And I mean cess pit ?   Shit, You’re the guy living with a girlfriend and a wife.”

Somehow it slips early on around Sid that Julianna and Sawyer are married.

“You really shouldn’t talk about stuff you don’t know anything about. You are such a selfish idiot, you know that ?  Your twisted views on education are wrong. Just because you couldn’t do it doesn’t mean other people can’t. You shouldn’t even talk to Julie,”

“I’ll talk to whoever I damn well please,  don’t get in my face Sawyer, or I will tell every fucking person  where you have really been the past month and what for.”

“That is none of your business—“

This fight goes on too long.

“Well, neither is what I do with my business and who I hire. Juliana’s 18 she can do whatever she wants and if it positively affects me, who gives a shit ? Dude, I can’t believe your over here trying to control someone life because you went from the golden boy to a motherfucking loser,”

“I’m trying to protect you. If she gets hurt, again it will be your fault, think about that.”

“You can’t get a fucking STD from serving overpriced food and booze,” Sid laughed,”You’re the college guy you should know that.”

"Why do I even bother talking to you ?"

Sawyer turned back to go upstairs he saw Elisa and I but chose to ignore. us 

“So,” said Sid, turning to Elisa and I “ Do you guys do it all together or take turns or—“

O: Sid might be Erik

“Not the time,Sid,” Elisa said and headed back upstairs.

“I’ll see you tomorrow, right ?” Sid said to me

“I don’t know.” I said and followed Elisa and Sawyer back upstairs.

When I got back into the apartment, I saw Sawyer was waiting for me.

“Juliana, please do not go back to that place. You are much better than that. I shouldn’t have to tell you that. Please don't go back or I swear I will lock you in a room somewhere.”

So, I may have made Sawyer out of character here and very controlling. But at the same time he is afraid she’ll be taken advantage of like Brad did. Although, Juliana did flip that situation and steal his money.

That lit something in me. I knew he was just saying that but, I didn’t leave the commune to go back to being told what to do and threatened to be locked in my room again.

“Okay,” I agreed.

* * *

On the Metro ride over to the Penthouse I looked through the Shoreline Community College brochure, for no other reason but to look busy.  I was pretty good with numbers but, I could barely make it through the paragraphs in the brochure. I knew what they said but, not what they meant.  The sounds of the Metro screeching made it impossible to read more than 2 lines before getting distracted.

 I could read pictures though.

It looked like it was a place where you could walk out as some kind of nurse, a mechanic, a firefighter even. Everyone in the pictures seemed happy in their field, smiling as they did their job. Each picture was filled with a random assortment of letters.

O.C,  C.C.C,  A.T.D, A.S.

These are actual certifications I looked up at Community Colleges in Florida. I can’t remember what they stand for.

None of activities in the pictures looked particularly interesting  to me.

Sawyer had left that morning for his first day of work, in a new suit and a smile on his face.  Before he left Sawyer told me to please look at the brochures and not to get into any trouble.

I had done 1 of the 2

Elisa hadn’t really directly acknowledged me since we had been back. Even though without me , her apartment and all the stuff in it would have been put up for auction. Not that she had any way of knowing that.

The Metro lurched into Violet Square. It looked so innocent during the daytime, there were even small families and tourist around taking pictures.

Violet Square is a real place, in case that is never stated.

When I had worked before I would always slip in through the back but, this time I went to the front where I saw a woman who looked to be in her 30’s behind the bar, taking inventory.

So, before Julianna was a freelance “dancer” now she is an official employee on payroll.

“Hi, are you Kennedy ?” I asked.

“Yes, you must be Juliana. I’m sorry I don’t know your face but, I usually deal with front of the house stuff.” She explained shaking my hand

Kennedy had been one of the “guys” Sid went in on the business with who had a degree.

She reached around and handed me a thick binder.

“So, this is going to be a feat but, you need to memorize most of these, which are all the food and drinks and the specials in our shorthand.  And then you need to learn the sections of the restaurant, so  when we tell you where you need to be you go there.”

This was much more challenging than at the diner where the only choices of beef were hamburger or chicken fried steak. I didn’t even know what the difference between chateaubriand and filet mignon and what exactly made beef Angus ? And Where there really so many ways to cook a steak?.”

“And here is your uniform,” she said giving me a hanger even though I had no recollection of giving her my size.

It was black and white with deep v-neck top that looked like a  vest, with the words Penthouse on the front  and black mini skirt with a glittery hem.

“Cute, huh ?” she said,” I did the glitter on the hem myself.”

I nodded while wondering what exactly gin and tonic was.

“Do you get it ?” she asked.

 I shook my head.

I should have said it was a striped shirt, it’s a referre costume.

“You have to watch the news.  This weekend is not only the start of the collegiate football training camps but also a High School Football Expo is downtown. I  figure the coaches are going to have to blow off steam and we should welcome them. And the best part, the drink special  this weekend is a Touchdown,  it’s 8.75 but, 3 dollars goes to Pop Glover football league for kids. So, try and sell that drink the most it will make great press.”

I nodded.

Why would someone want a blackened catfish? Isn’t that burnt?

“Any questions ?”

“If I had . . . people coming by would I be able to let them in ?” I asked.

“Sure, but only if you pass the test and memorize everything you need to by tonight.,” she laughed and went back to taking inventory.

After looking at the list for 4 hours, I went into the back to change clothes. Kennedy had also supplied me with a pair of black heels, that I was already clumsily trying to walk in.  One of the older women, who worked as a dancer offered to do my makeup.

“What happened to your neck, honey ?” she asked dabbing on the concealer I still kept.

In a flashback Brad buys her Estee Lauder concealer from a Macy's counter to conceal hickies. Did I mention there is a True Life Sugar Daddies ?

“Nothing,” I said.

“Come on, you can tell me. I’ve been there. If we have to tell someone why not each other ?”

I was hesitant, I hadn’t talked about Brad much with anyone.

“They were from this man,” I admitted.

“Oh, you poor thing. Did he hit you ?”

“No, he . . . uh, he  kissed my neck.”

“Ahh, love-bites . . . adorable,” she giggled and dabbed some pink eye shadow on my lids.

“Julia, there you are !” I turned around, smearing the eyeshadow to see  Belle, I had met her my first day but hadn’t talked to her enough for her to miss me.

I reuse the name Belle in Veritas.

“Hi,”

“I’ve been looking all over for you,” she said. She went over to her bag and showed me a ring.

My wedding ring.

“I found it on the floor a few weeks ago. I was waiting for you to come back, this looks expensive.”

“It’s not,” I lied and put it in my own bag, “Thank you,”

I wondered if having the ring back was a sign of something ? Maybe Elisa wanted it. Maybe I could just pawn it. I don’t think any of us wanted it.

By 9 PM I had been yelled at 3 different times. The customers here were not the easy-going people at the diner. I had barely caught any of the short hand and most of the orders came out wrong for every table. Every time I brought a plate over I hoped no one would notice but, they always did. I was reprimanded  by both customers and the people in the kitchens most of the night. I tried to move faster but, I was still adjusting to life in heels that were more than 1 inch tall.

The other waitresses were also shooting mean glares in my directions, apparently I wasn’t helping with tips. Kennedy had warned me their might be a bit of animosity because they knew what I used to do and didn't like that I had changed. No amount of me being nice to anyone made them any nicer.

So, I guess in the club I created some kind of stripper-waitress hierarchy.

I felt my phone buzz

I expected it to be another message from Sawyer. Since he had got off work at 7 he had called me 12 times and left 5 text messages. I chose not to pick up because I was sure he was upset with me but,  I had texted him  the first time I was fine and being safe.

This text was different. It was from Patrick’s number.

Wats up ? Were outside, its crzy out here.

We were allowed one smoke break so, I asked Kennedy and went outside. I was shocked by the lines outside, I saw there were lines everywhere. I recognized Patrick but none of the people he was with but, they seemed more reserved than the bunch he had been with last time.  One of the boys,  was wearing a fake plastic crown on top of his neatly cropped brown hair. I waved Patrick over and the front gate man let them in.

“This is so cool of you, thanks if you ever need anything.” Patrick said,

“It’s nothing,” I said.

I nodded my head and went off back to the table I was dreading. It was a group of men and one of them – a large man with a shaved --had questions about everything. He shot every question at me like an accusation and frowned at me when I didn’t know the answer or had to leave to get an answer.

“So, are the baked potatoes fries baked or fried  ?” he asked never looking up from the phone, he was texting on.

I wasn’t about to go back and ask another question to Kennedy so, I went with the obvious.

Baked potato fries.

“Baked.”

 “And what’s on tap ?”

I repeated to him the beers on tap for the 3^rd time. When they finally ordered I walked off and Kennedy caught me.

“Get table P-98,” she said.

It was a private table.

I looked around, to see it was Patrick’s table. I walked over.

“Hi, guys my name is Juliana how is your night going?”

“Do they make you say that ?”one of the boys asked me.

I nodded.  It was my best attempt at flirting, they encouraged the waitresses to be “friendly.” Most of the other waitresses were better at it than I was, I noticed they competed for who could get the most numbers at the end of the night even though they threw them all in the trash.

“I can’t believe you have the table with Flag Morton,” the  boy with the crown, the birthday boy I assumed said, “I mean he is like the best quarterback Coastal has ever had, he is going pro. Is he a jerk ?”

I’m pretty sure I got the name Flagg from Kim Possible and Morton because I was writing about steak earlier.

So, the picky guy was famous

“Kind of,” I said,” Is it your birthday ?”

My second best attempt at flirting.

“Yeah, how did you guess ?” he laughed, “I would kill to get Flag’s autograph. Hey can you give me a copy of his check when he pays ?”

I nodded.

And it's never bought up again after she gets it.

 As the night went on I became in a way grateful for Patrick's table because they weren't as demanding as the others and whenever I came over they always had a joke to tell me.

When I gave Patrick’s table their check, I was sure to slip Flag Morton’s copy in with it. I was about to leave their table when Patrick stopped me.

“Hey--hey, we want you to give Cortland his birthday lap dance,” Patrick said,” The birthday king,”

I looked around the table to see he wasn’t sitting at the table.

I got Cortland’s name because I needed  preppy names for Patrick’s sidekicks and I went to a preppy baby name website. It’s where I got Cort’s friends names (West, Pax, Hunter…) I liked the name Cortland so much and he had some line I liked and hence Cortland became the  new love interest and Patrick slowly disappears....

I wonder if I can dig up the original draft w/Patrick as the love interest.

“I can’t,” I said, “It’s not my job.”

It was the truth.

“Come on, you are the prettiest and youngest girl here. The rest of these women are fucking horses, come on, agree before he gets back. I know from experience you are really good,” he said.

Patrick is just a horrible character

“Okay,” I agreed

“You should sit in his chair,” one of the boys suggested.

So, they all just want to give Cortland a hard time.

Just as I sat down, Cortland was walking up to the table, he came up to me sitting in his chair and a nervous smile crept across his face.

“Guys . . . “ he said, turning to them but his friends were already laughing and clapping, he rolled his eyes ans showed them his middle finger.

I got out of the chair and stood infront of him. He was tall.

I  reached for the top of his head and took of his crown putting on my own head and I gestured for him to take his seat back.

He sat down, he seemed unsure and blushed a bit . . .  it was very human. I sat in his lap and looked up at his face and I noticed something.

He was handsome.

Despite the look of pleasure and embarrassment on his face, his features were oddly aligned, his cheekbones were overly prominent and his eyes were a shade of brown so bright there was no way he could be seeing the world the same way I did,  he reminded me of the pictures of soldiers in history books.

There is actually an old picture (which I will try and find) of a soldier that Cortland is based on which is why he is described like this.

He was too nice, too handsome to be in a place like this.

I snapped back to where I was, I realized my body had been moving but, I wasn't paying attention. I saw he had a smile on his face.

“That was really great” Cortland laughed, "You didn't have to do that,"

“Happy Birthday,” I said, I moved so I was just sitting in his lap and not straddling it.

"Can I take a picture with you ?"

I nodded.

He put his face next to mine cheek to cheek  and I saw his friends had their phones pointed in our direction.  I turned my face and let my lips touch the side of his.

He laughed.

“I have to go back to work,”I told them.

“Hey, we’re probably going to a party later on, you want to come ?” Patrick asked,” I mean you’ve been real cool tonight.”

I nodded.

Not because I wanted to go but, I knew I needed time and space before I went back to Sawyer. I had never seen him really angry and I was almost afraid of what that may be like.

***

It was odd being in a car with all of these strangers. Especially with Patrick who I didn’t trust sitting in the driver’s seat.

 “So, how much did you make ? If you don’t mind,” Cortland asked

“105$ in tips,”

“Damn,” said Patrick,”Sorry—that’s a lot”

“ Not really.”

When I was working before I made atleast 400$ in tips each night. I was still impressed with making 105$ but judging by the "accidental" trip from one of the other waitresses--that landed me face down on the floor-- on my way out, it wasn't that great.

I knew Patrick had told them I used to work as a dancer but, I wasn’t sure if he told them about my other illicit activities. I doubted he did.

We drove away from the city and towards the shore, into a neighborhood of identical white apartment complexes and houses. Patrick pulled into one of the apartment complexes where I could see an assortment of vehicles outside.

Okay, you all. So in the midst of my trenches I may have watched a lot of True Life about Beach Life/Jersey Shore/Spring Break and that is where a lot of this stuff comes from.

Inside the apartment on the 5th floor there were groups of people standing around all looking bored. I had no idea where I fit into any of this. Why had I come ? I was ready to turn around and leave but, Patrick was guiding me around the room greeting people every now and then. He settled on the patio with the rest of his friends  with a beer and offered me one.

I shook my head no.

“Diet coke, right ?” said Cortland, who took the seat on the couch next to me.

“That’s fine.”

 “It must be every guys dream to take you home, right ? I mean I bet you get asked out a lot," Cortland said.

“Not really,” I said.

He left and came back with a bottled water and what looked like a tiny cigarette in his hand.

It’s weed.

“All they had is water,” he said, taking a drag and offering it to me.

I shook my head no and concentrated on not breathing in his smoke.

“Water is fine, thank you.”

“What did you say ?” he asked, getting closer to me.

“Water is fine.”

He smiled and blew more smoke into the air.

“Where are you from ?," he asked

“Louisiana.”

“Oh, it's nothing it's just --It’s weird the way you say water—I mean it’s not  bad, kind of cute—you have a little accent. I mean you didn’t talk much before. You know ?”

He is high.

“No,” I said, honestly.

“Okay, like I say wa-TER like,like .  . . turkey and you said Wat-Uh, like umbrella  . . . does that make sense ?” He laughed, clearly embarrassed he had even started this conversation or maybe it was the drugs.

I nodded.

My parents had lived in Louisiana their whole lives and I had grown up speaking as they had, I never noticed if it sounded any different than anyone else. No one else had told me I spoke differently but, then again they weren’t listening to what I was saying. Brad hated it when I spoke and to the men at the club it made me to human.

I sat back quietly as he had short conversations with all the people who came up to him to wish him a happy birthday while I listened to the music thinking of a way to get out of this. Then I heard something behind the music. A noise.

I looked to see we were really just feet away from where the beach was, I could see the ocean from our place on the balcony.

 “You want to go closer ?”

I turned around to see Cortland addressing me again. I realized I had been staring at it.

“That’s okay,”

“Nah, come on it’s no big deal, it’s kind of lame here.”

"Isn't this your party ?" I asked

"No. Just a place to get beer, you know ? Come on."

He headed back through the apartment and down the stairs , I followed  him through the backyard and  as we got closer the rushing became louder, I couldn’t help from smiling. I took off my sandals when we got to the sand, it was a strange feeling, the sand around my feet.

We were 3 feet away from the waves when  I stopped.

“Are you coming ?” Cortland asked turning around to notice I was standing far away.

I was scared.

 The waves were coming up on big groups and crashing so loudly into  darkness I was afraid of being swept away and no one would be able to see me.

“Come on, you have to feel this.” He called out to me.

I  hesitantly walked over to where he was standing, the wet sand felt smooth like I was steeping into wet clay.

Suddenly I felt a warm water rush at my feet and I felt the ground moving beneath me, tickling the balls of me feet. I let out a little giggle.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve seen you really smile tonight,” Cortland pointed out," And you got to give me a lap dance"

“It feels really good, “ I said as another rush of waves flowed over my feet.

Cortland rolled up his pant legs and went closer to the water.

“You want to get in ? ”

“No,” I said, “I can’t get my clothes wet.”

I was wearing the Goodwill outfit I had worn to Sawyer’s arraignment, It was the only nice thing I had if I ever had to go anywhere besides work.

“It’s fun.” He said as he stepped closer so his knees were in the water.

“No, these are my best clothes” I said even though I was tempted. I wanted to feel the soothing waves over my whole body, I wanted to get my hair wet.

“Is this your first time ?” he shouted to me from his spot, trying to talk over the crashing of the waves.

Okay, I like this scene. Time to edit it to make it better.

I nodded.

“WHAT?” he shoutsed

They are shouting over the waves.

“YES!” I shouted scream as loud as I could can

He walksed back up towards me and pointsed in the distance behind me.

"I have a share over there for the summer," he said, "Right on the beach. You should come by tomorrow and we can go to the beach during the day,Old sport( ....lol, jk)"

"Sounds nice," I said

“How are you getting home ?” he asked.

“I don’t know,”

“You want me to take you ?”

“Okay, “I agreed

“Want to go now?”

“In a few minutes,” I said.

I wanted to feel the water for a little while longer. It was so beautiful. How could I have gone so long without experiencing this ?

I put my hands into the water and let them run over.