_____

-1-

SH: *High fives CPShawna, but isn't sure why*

CPShawna:You'll see/You've seen

As weeks went by I became nothing more than a smaller version of Sgt. Maxwell’s shadow, no one really acknowledged me not even a slight glance. I was always just there with him. He went about his day most of the time like I was invisible to him as well, hardly uttering a word to me. I am sure he was going about his day the way he would whether I was accompanying him or not.

Sgt. Maxwell was up at 4:45 every morning  for a 30 minute run around the camp, at 6 AM he was in uniform to deal with the business of the prisoners or he gave the work to someone else and  just stayed in to watch News Watch, a political news show, he lifted weights at 7 AM and went into his office at County Hall to work from 8 to 5 PM or later.

I learned everyone had to walk on egg shells around him because of his notorious temper.  He would often just start to yell at soldiers for the tiniest infraction and then come up with some of the most awful punishments he could imagine.

Alex: Why am I doing all this exposition ? What happened to show don't tell ?

SH: I’m honestly surprised you’re still here.

Alex: *goes back to hiding spot*

The Republican Liberation Army decided to  allow the use of military corporal punishment—I was with Sgt.Maxwell when they wheeled in the wooden horses.  Sgt. Maxwell had yet to go that far in his punishments yet.

SH: Did you just bring corporal punishment into this ?

CrazyPastShawna:Well, we read about how they use it in the Phillipinnes’ Military, so why not ? It makes them seem more cruel.

SH: You should just make them read this.

CPShawna: Well, if it makes you feel any better this never comes up again in anything ever.

 

 More than anything I think, he was frustrated with all of the soldiers. Every day they did the same things, made the same mistakes and everyday he was harsher towards them.  Sgt. Maxwell was  supposed to be a mentor to them but all he ever did was yell.

 

 One day, I was following him to his office, after his gym workout when he paused and then diverted off his usual course and went towards the shooting range.  There was his newest platoon, the Harmony Platoon with the arms drill sergeant—they all had big weapons at their sides.  They were at a shooting practice but, no one was shooting.

They were all standing around a young bald cadet who  was on the ground doing pushups, the arms drill sergeant was counting down loudly  from 55. The drill sergeant told the soldier to pause when he saw Sgt. Maxwell coming towards the group.

“What is the meaning of this ?,” Sgt. Maxwell asked

SH: What is the meaning of this  ? Shouldn’t he say something like What the F is going on ?

“This boy was talking back.” The drill sergeant responded

“Explain yourself, Private Anderson ,” Sgt. Maxwell inquired

“Sir, Master Sergeant Dickson asks us to shoot with an 80% accuracy,” the private said, “A feat impossible from someone without special training or handling of the M17. We have been out here 2 hours with  no water, sir”

I detected a tone in the private’s voice that would set Sgt. Maxwell off. It was the tone that said ‘I am right and the rest of you are wrong’. I took a few steps back.

Sgt. Maxwell snatched  a gun from the private closest to him. I took an even bigger step back as did everyone else.

SH: Takes step back

 “Stay.” He commanded.

“Maxwell,” The drill sergeant, Sgt. Dickson said in a warning tone but, Sgt.Maxwell ignored him

Private Anderson’s knees where shaking.

Maxwell looked at the gun and after a second aimed at the targets in the distance. His hands fumbled at the levers for a second but then, he shot all the rounds into the field. He ordered Private Anderson to get the target and when he came back we saw the ten rounds   had hit through the center target each time.

“Did you say impossible ?,” Sgt. Maxwell asked him, a slight smile on his face.

Before anyone could answer, Sgt. Maxwell threw the gun down and we continued walking to his office.

Because Maxwell is not only book smart, physically fit and health conscious, he is also good with a weapon….like a villain in training.

Once we were in his office I had to comment on his feat.

“Sir, that was amazing, sir.” I said to him

“It wasn’t amazing . It is precision. Those men believe in what they cannot do and it is what hurts them.”

:"Of course, sir"

A few minutes later there was a loud knock on the door. I went up to open it and saw the Sgt. Dickson from earlier.  He looked angry.

“Maxwell, what the hell was that ?,” he said,” You are not permitted to handle weapons. You failed--,”

CPShawna: Ooh, look a plot twist ! Maxwell does fail at things.

“Yes,  I failed the Arms Exam, I know that, Dickson. But , then I got better.  It was a training session I merely participated. So skip the lecture. What were you going to do have me fired for doing your job better than you  ?,”

Sgt. Dickson was silent.

“ Is there anything else you want from me ?” Maxwell asked

Sgt. Dickson eased up his stance and relaxed, sitting at Sgt. Maxwell’s desk.

“ The Major General is getting antsy about possible attacks. He wants to start a sniper training program over at Fort Liberty,” Sgt. Dickson said,  “I need to pick the candidates and I think you could be a help in that. You seem to have a good grasp on these men.”

“ I see no promise in any of those boys  but, I will see what I can do.”

Awkward scene ending is awkward. There are a million of these actually.

 

--2--

Every  week there was  a weekend away for the soldiers. The camp provided transportation and lodging for them . They usually went to Fort Perch to stay and were allowed out into the city to have fun. I had never known Sgt. Maxwell to go with them but, this weekend was apparently going to be different.

When I woke up Friday morning Sgt. Maxwell was dressed in civilian clothes. He was wearing a pair of loose fitting white jeans and a red collared shirt. He was looking in his mirror adjusting his clothes and saw my reflection staring at him.

SH: What is this outfit ?

CPSHAWNA: I got nothing on this one.

“I have not let you out of my sight for 4 weeks,” he said, adjusting his hair,  “ That changes today. I am going away to Fort Perch for the weekend and as you are still a convict, you will remain here.”

 “What work will I do,sir ?,”

“I have none for you. All I demand is you stay away from any prisoners and stay out of trouble or it is my ass on the line. If you so much as try anything they will throw you into purgatory like they did your brother. Do you understand  ? ”

“Yes, sir,” I said

I was not even thinking about doing anything, there was nothing to do.

Maxwell picked up a suit case that was by the door and headed out without another word to me. I was a little hurt. Did I not matter enough for a good bye at least ? After all I had done ?

Alex: Do I have Stockholm syndrome too ?

SH: Probably more like Daddy issues and a need to please.

I laid back down in the bed and turned on the TV that was in the room. I had to search for the remote because Maxwell never turned the TV on. Within a few hours I was already bored with it. We did not have a television in my house and I usually spent the day working or keeping the little ones entertained.

I tried to start cleaning up Sgt. Maxwell’s room but, there was nothing to clean everything was already organized.  I began to finish covering the label on his food box from his family with more smiley faces.

Because Alex is also a bit of a manic pixie who does things like draw smiley faces. Or something.

I did not leave the confined of the room at all on Friday.  I didn’t feel comfortable just walking around camp by myself.  I did not want to accidentally run into Felix or Mitchell and cause a problem. I tried to go back to sleep but, sleep never came and I ended up staying up all Friday night just thinking.

Alex: So, we’ve been sharing a bed for four weeks ? Shouldn’t that be in my internal dialogue at some point ? Shouldn't I question that ?

CPSHAWNA: IDK, you grew up poor and you’re naïve. You’re used to sharing a bed and don’t think anything of it.

SH: You know in these POV's the characters never describe each other. How does Maxwell look to Alex and how does Alex look to Maxwell aside from the height thing.

CPShawna: Umm...hmmm...uh...well...a...uh...

On Saturday morning I sucked it up and left the quarters and went outside. Camp was empty because everyone had gone to Fort Perch for the weekend. I knew one kind face at the camp and decided to go and see hibm.

 I went to the infirmary to see  Major Channing. He was standing in deep thought , the infirmary  walls covered  with floating colorful holographic images.

CPShawna: In case you forgot it was the future !

Maj. Channing and Sgt. Maxwell often had lunch together and I listened closely as they talked. They always addressed each other by their first name and appeared to have been friends before the war even started. Their conversations tended to be about people and places I had never heard of. We had never had a real conversation but, Maj. Channing always acknowledged me and was kind.

“Major Channing,sir ?,” I said walking in, “I was just wondering . . . Is there anything I can do for you ?,”

He looked up from the images to see me.

“Hello there, Haley,” he said to me  “How kind of you but, no.”

I looked around to see one of the infirmary beds was occupied by Felix—Harlow’sbest friend. He looked awful.  His eyes were closed, he was coughing and sweating, there was an IV line going into him.

“Sir, what is wrong with Felix  ?,” I asked

“ He has some kind of bacterial infection,  I’m afraid. I’m thinking it’s from those god awful prisoner latrines. They are just rotting with diseases I am sure. He will be fine. He is just on a bunch of antibiotics.”

I stood at the door and Maj. Channing glanced at me occasionally as he looked at his holographs.

“You must have something better to do than hang around an infirmary with me,” he said

“I don’t,” I admitted, “Are you very busy ?,”

“I am working on a proposal—that means I am formally asking permission from an organization.  I want to ask the Eastern Militiary to let me help with the Life Project. That is the name of the  treatment and research team who are working on  the Life Summit incident. ”

CPShawna: See, I’m doing continuity stuff. Oooh !

“Wow.” I said

“Wow, indeed. It is a little iffy because I am a military doctor for the Liberation Army but, I have a calling you know ? How about I let you proofread my proposal. How is your grammar ?,”

“Good.” I said,” My job at home was to create printed back ups of all of the digital files for Tempus Corporation. I sat at a computer and typed all day.”

“I never knew that. Well, that is a job we need in this world. All right then,”

He pushed one of the images over to me and I saw it was a text file. I did not understand everything that was in the files but, I knew enough about what to fix. Channing seemed to be just as smart as Maxwell , no wonder they got along so well.

 

“Tell me Haley,where are you from ?,” he asked

“We have lived in Sun Valley--,”

“Sounds lovely,”

“It is a nice name.” I agreed,” My grandmother worked for Tempus Corporation for 25 years and when she retired they let her stay in the house the company owned and gave her money to live of off.  My mother and all of us kids moved in with her a while back. Before that we lived a bunch of places but, I like Sun Valley the most.”

“I must remember to visit there,” he smiled.

Alex: I get that he's old and stuff, but I’d much rather have him have a creepy crush on me.

SH: That does make sense. You have had an actual conversation—

CPShawna: SILENCE !

Channing continued to work on his proposal and attended to Felix who was too sick to recognize I was there. Channing gave me other tasks to do around the infirmary and I became a bit familiar with the area.

In the afternoon, I fell asleep in one of the hospital beds only to be awoken by him telling me he was closing up shop and it was time to go.

It was Sunday morning.

CPSHAWNA: Title drop !

SH: I don’t remember much, but I do know this thing didn’t have a title when you wrote that. So, it’s not really a title drop.

CPShawna: You mean when “we” wrote that.

SH: Moving on.

________

I only held the title of Sergeant for a little more than a month but, it was something I embodied to the fullest.  I went straight to the rank because of my education, experiences and of course a stellar recommendation.

It was odd going back home at Fort Perch and having the title stripped away from me. I normally never left Camp Independence but, I  needed to get away from that place.  From him.

I made my way to the courthouse and to Judge Brady’s chambers. There was a security guard at the door, I showed him my ID, he knocked on the door and opened it to let me in.

Judge Brady was at her desk, where I always remembered her—she was scrolling through files.

CPShawna: Ha! See there is a woman in this. And she's a judge. Face.

“Look at you , Ken.” She said

I reached across her desk and we hugged

“Good to see you, Judge.”  I said

“You know, my undergrads loved the guest lecture you gave last semester.”

“Really ? I didn’t know  Republican limited penal code was so fascinating.”

“Well, I should say the girls in class loved it.”

“Funny.” I replied dryly.

I waved my hand through the holographic name plate on her desk.

CHShawna: Friendly reminder #2 that we’re in the future !

“What is wrong ?,” she asked

“Why do you think something is wrong ? I can’t just come to see my former professor ?,”

“No,” Judge Brady smiled, “How is the new career move ?,”

“It feels more like martyrdom. I feel like I made a mistake taking the position. The soldiers are weak and the prisoners are even worse. These prisoners are all just angry and bitter—one of them committed suicide.”

“Dear, lord. What happened ?,”

“I have no clue. He was fine one minute and the next he is hanging from the fucking raptors . . .I don’t know. The military doctor, my old friend Robert Channing thinks he was just depressed.”

“Well, it wasn’t your fault. You are young you will make mistakes.”

“I’m almost 33, I’m not young anymore. Do you know how much Captain Roemer accomplished when he was my age ? A lot more.”

“You aren’t running for president,”

“No, but  still.”

“Do you want me to get rid of the program and stop sending prisoners your way ?”

“No,” I said,” We need the labor and I feel like there may be one rehab opportunity in each batch. I’m just frustrated.”

We reminisced about the old days for a while, we talked about politics for a bit before I left. She was the only person I really wanted to see while I was here and I still had the whole weekend ahead of me.

I have no idea why he doesn’t see his mother.

I was sure all of the other boys were off trying to find the nearest strip club,I was in no mood to run into them. I went to the most expensive  bar in town and found a stool where  I stayed until last call.

After that, I was feeling adventurous and I took the train and went to the underbelly of the LOLA sprawl and into one of the notorious strip clubs, The Palace.

 Looking at what was available  I had no affinity for any of the girls there so, I went into one of the stimsim casts. Taking a seat in the white pod, I felt cramped---they clearly weren’t made for men my size.

CPShawna:*If you know what I mean.*

SH: No. I remember this line. It does not mean that.

Pretty soon the whiteness of the pod vanished and replaced with a location of my choosing---a reconstruction of my old condo.

 The image quality was impeccable and the women were voluptuous and  beautiful but, I left early and ultimately unsatisfied .

On the train ride back to Fort Perch I considered calling an ex for a one night stand but, none of their names or faces rang a bell.

I went back to the hotel as the sun came up and passed out on the floor.

Is it just me or the characters more interesting when they are separate ? Maxwell is so arrogant and mean tempered that he alienates people. So, when he gets a day off he has to spend  it with a virtual prostiture and drinking until he passes out.

---3--

I headed out of the infirmary to see the bus had come back in to town. I stood  by the side of County Hall  and watched as all of the soldiers came out. They all looked happier and were talking among themselves excitedly.

The line of soldiers ended and Sgt. Maxwell was not among them. I was concerned but, it was none of my business and I had no one to ask so, I just sat on the front steps of the officer’s quarters and people watched.

CPShawna: See ? They're both lonely, they need each other.

Shawna: Or they have an odd, unhealthy co-dependent relationship.

CPShawna: Believe in love, you muggle.

I had been sitting for an hour when I heard gun shots in the distance. They kept going off in intervals of 10 and it reminded me of Sgt. Maxwell so I went over to see if I had missed him. I went in the directions of the gunshots to see 2 privates from the Harmony Platoon at the shooting range, each with a weapon in their hand.

They would shoot, look into the distance, comment or heckle to each other and then start over.

I watched them practice until one of them noticed me and beckoned me to come closer. I approached slowly. Privates never acknowledged me and I was cautious of everyone these days. As  I got closer I recognized one soldier as Private Rogers but, my memory failed me on the name of the other soldier. I knew I had seen him on the first day  and he had looked familiar and I had said his name.

“Want to go and get those targets for us,kid ?,” Private Rogers said

SH: I feel like this "kid" thing was totally not done on purpose.

CPShawna: See, this is Cleo. He is in Hidden. And in Hidden he wants to be in the Sniper program that was mentioned earlier in this chapter. Which is why he goes to the Luxor to get a surgey to give him an advantage in Hidden. Quick, SH give me a Continuity high five. *High fives*

SH: This joke is going to fall flat.

“Oh, um –Yes, sir” I said and went off to get them.

When I came back they examined the targets.

“Fuck, Collins You suck.” Rogers said.

“Shut up,” He said, ”The sun is just really bright. I got way more than you.”

Suddenly the name and face clicked

“Shiloh Collins,” I said, “You’re from Sun Valley, you we—,”

Yeah, Shiloh was another one from bottom of the barrel of that name file Harlow came from.

“Yeah, whatever. Let it go,” Collins cut me off. His tone was cold and distant.

“What ?,” Rogers asked, “Sounds like you are hiding something.”

“Nothing.” Collins said, picking the weapon up,” I was just in the local mediastream in our town a few times.”

Collins was in the media stream more than a few time. He was the star football player in Sun Valley and was drafted last year for a professional team. His face had always been all over  the local media stream for days after that.  Most of the women in town had a crush on him. We hadn’t heard about him in a while, I wondered where he had been.

 “So, kid” Rogers said to me, “Do you know what Maxwell is looking for in the sniper school candidates ?”

I have no idea where this kid stuff is coming from.

“I don’ t know anything about that, sir.” I said

“Hey, c’mon don’t ‘sir’ us.” Collins said, “I mean we are all in this shit together, right ?,”

“I-I don’t know,” I said

Private Rogers began to shoot again and the  sound distracted Collins.

“I can tell from here you are off,” Collins shouted.

I took the opportunity to leave them alone and I walked away.

SH: What was the point of that scene ?

CPShawna: Did you miss the continuity piece. Also Sniper School Auditions ! The plot thickens !

SH: This stuff literally never comes up again. Ever.

I didn’t have anywhere to go so, I went back to sitting on the front stoop of the officer’s quarters.

***

Sgt. Maxwell came back later that night in a  car with some of the other officers.  I turned his television to the news as he came into his room.

“How was your visit to Fort Perch, sir ?,”

“God awful. All those Eastern bureaucrats walking around,” he said,” Nothing like being away to tell you how good you have it.”

He pulled out two shot glasses from his suitcase and pulled out a bottle of whiskey. He   filled the pair of shot glasses with whiskey and handed one to me. I let it rest in my hand and watched nervously to see if he was going to drink it.

SH: What did he think Maxwell was going to do with the two whiskey shots he just poured  besides drink them ?

Alcohol was 100% against the policy here. I had watched Sgt. Maxwell punish and demote a soldier for sneaking in a tiny bottle of champagne just last week.

Harlow, I'm sure you know I have never had alcohol. Between grandma's horror stories about it and Momma's addictions I am afraid of any controlled substance.

Alex: What the heck, Shawna ? When did I start addressing my dead brother in this ? This is such a weird transition.

SH: I have no recollection of this. I mean it literally just starts randomly. *turns to CPShawna*

CPShawna: IDK, can I just write the smexy times, belt ripping times.

SH: Belt ripping ?

CPShawna: It's the mail equivalent to corset ripping.

I didn’t want to drink it but I didn’t want to be rude  so, I sipped it.

SH: As you all know, I am on a cruise and you really DON’T sip shots when you are with a drinker. So, I justify this next bit of scene.

CPShawna: You just justified something I did—

SH: You are still never coming back

This bothered Sgt. Maxwell and  he took the glass and forced it down my throat.  The alcohol burned as it went down  and the taste made me gag.

Erik: That’ s what she said ! Or he...depending on how you go. This is an all inclusive burn.

“That is how a man takes a drink,” he said and poured me another one and poured another one for himself.  He placed his full glass between his lips and tilted his head back, draining the shot in seconds.

“You do it.” He commanded.

I copied him unsuccessfully. The glass slipped and fell, spilling whiskey all over my face. He glared at me and poured another.

“I-I’m sorry, sir.”

I tried again, this time I only drank half of it before getting repulsed by the taste and spitting it out.

He poured another. I wanted to protest at the thought of having to drink it again.

This time I did it right.

 It seemed to make him happy, but the alcohol was still foul in my mouth.

He stood up and removed his collared shirt and I saw his bare back for the first time, there was a large tattoo of the military insignia on it. It was beautiful in it’s symmetry. Right in the middle of the crease in his back. It did not look like a regular tattoo it seemed to be part of his skin.

He saw me staring at his back in the mirror.

“It’s a brand,” he said, is voice pensive “A symbol of pride and my commitment to the forces and the people who are in it. Including those dumb fuck-ups of privates. When I die people will always know who I was and what I stood for.”

SH: Huh, that sounds like a scene in Divergent

CPShawna: What’s that ?

SH:….you know I’m still not entirely sure.

 

 

____

I took the bottle of whiskey into the bathroom with me. It was expensive and the best stuff but I knew I had way too many enemies here. If one of them even reported so much as suspicion I could easily be dismissed.  I poured the  last of the alcohol down the toilet and flushed it a couple of times. I rinsed the bottle out in the shower and put it underneath the bag in the trashcan

 When I came back out Alex was standing  in front of the bed with his hands outstretched to the sides, he was stepping from side to side and he stumbled.

Shit, he was buzzed.

No, dip Sherlock. A character who literally weighs 100  pounds just when shot for shot with someone who is over 6 feet tall.

CPShawna: Well, he only had two shots

I hated kids like him, they gave this country a bad name—even worse than all the hackers and chrome dealers.

CPShawna: ha,ha look ! More continuity. Cause Alan and Sara are hackers and chrome dealers . Get it ?

Ignorant bastards, I loathed them, the people like his brother. I had not killed his brother but, I thought about it.

Fuck. I could not rehabilitate anyone. I was a failure.

You’re also drunk

Alex had managed to finally sit down and was staring dreamily at the pretty news anchor on MNN.

“Stand up.” I said to him

He stood up awkwardly holding on to something invisible in the air to keep himself upright, the tiniest  mischievous smile across his face. I went and stood in front of him. Face to face he barely came up to my chest.  I leaned down to see if I could smell the alcohol on him.

Luckily,I couldn’t –he had to be just barely buzzed. I took the sides of his face and looked into his watery eyes.

I pushed my lips slowly onto his.

He didn’t react. He just stood completely still.  I pulled away, scathing his lip as I broke the kiss

SH: What does this mean ? Scathing his lips ?

CPShawna: Who cares ! Whose ready for some substance fueled smexy times ?

SH: No one. Literally no one.

I broke it  only for a few seconds before I parted his lips with my fingers and, moved my tongue into his mouth and  continued kissing him. I put my hands on his sides and pushed him backwards so we both fell over and on to the bed. I felt him pulling his lips away from mine and that was the last thing I wanted, I impulsively forced my lips harder on to his until he gave up and reciprocated my advances, letting  my tongue dance in and out of his small mouth.

Shawna: Okay, what is wrong with you CPShawna ? What does this sound like to you ?

CPShawna: Huh, I guess I should have re-read this before I called it smexy times. But it’s totally consensual.

Shawna: don’t even get me started on the bad sex writing.

CPShawna: Moving on !

The kiss went on longer than I wanted. This was all precursory. I wanted to fuck him, that was all I wanted. All I had ever really wanted.

Present2014Shawna: Actually, remember this. It comes back up.

SH and CPShawn: Wait who are you ?

Present2014Shawna: The version of you who knows how this TDOSH ends.

I was getting excited already and I took his hands and let him feel my erection through my pants—he jumped in his skin and  immediately moved his hands far away.

Shawna: I’d like to apologize for whatever happens next.

I closed my eyes and started kissing the sides of his face, sucking hard on the skin near the corners of his lips---I could taste the alcohol he had wasted on his face.  After a while I moved my tounge back to his mouth but, his lips would not open for me this time.

 I opened my eyes to look at him and saw his pale eyes were hanging half open. I gently pushed him away from me and let him rest on the bed, where he began to snore quietly within minutes.

Alex: Do I really snore in my sleep?

SH: Yes, actually. This happens a lot.

I looked at the clock, it had been nearly half and hour.  Curious I rolled him over on his back and undid his belt--- he was completely flaccid.

Shawna: Oh, I forgot this happened.

CPShawna: haha ! See ? Maxwell is now  feeling so rejected and unattractive.

Alex: Um, isn’t this sexual assault ? I’m passed out and he unzipped my pants !

Shawna: I am SO surprised you’re still around.

CPShawna: Well, okay, yes it is.  It totally is. I see that now.  But, Maxwell just  wanted to check if you were into him, not to look at what you were packing or anything.

Shawna: Also, this isn’t necessarily a sign that Alex isn’t into Maxwell. If  Maxwell was so smart he’d know that alcohol makes men less likely to get erect.

Alex: Um, can we stop talking about my private parts ?

CPShawna: That is the exact opposite of what’s going to happen so…

Alex: *disappears.*

 

 

----4---

 

At some point, Maxwell became something of my idol, my dream, my imaginary father figure although I imagine we are in fact closer in age but,still. I wanted him to love me . . .  like a son, to be like him would became my goal. Everyone respects him.

Alex: I have Stockholm syndrome, don’t I ?

SH: Sure.

CPShawna: No! Look let me break this down; Maxwell’s life is your life. You spend a ridiculous amount of time with him and it’s not until he is gone for a weekend do you realized how much you depend on him to regulate your life at camp.. Then there is the half hour makeout session. Look, you don’t want him to love you like a son…you  are  just too afraid to let him love you as something more.  Hence  your epilepsies

Alex: Well, fine. Why didn’t I just say love me like a brother ?

CPShawna: You’re brother just died. It’s be awkaward

Alex: And this isn’t ?

CPShawna: I though you dissapeared after last section.

Alex: *disappears again*

I was not sure he knew how I felt because he had  still yet to utter a kind word to me and now I craved it. I wanted his affirmation more than anything. I tried to do everything he asked and be the best worker hoping for a compliment or any kind of acknowledgment.

The other prisoners had taken a hatred towards me because I worked with Sgt.Maxwell—the person they hated most.  Whenever  I was in proximity they barked and threw bones from their food at me.

Which is why I was happy when the day finally came and last of them were released (including Mitchell and Felix) and a new set of prisoners were going to be brought in.

Prisoners left early on Sundays mornings and new prisoners always came in on Monday afternoons. They came off the bus together and the Corporals made them gather in front of the barracks

 “Look at them,” Maxwell said to me as we headed to the prisoner’s first line up.

I did. 

There were 16 men this time, more than when when we came to Camp Independence  and they now looked the part of soldiers with the close haircuts and gray uniforms. They were all surly and none of them standing straight.

So, Alex has long blonde hair in Hidden and it is never really explained why it wasn't cut when he was a prisoner. So, I made it seem like they were the first prisoner group and no one knew what to do with them, but by the time they get to Alan they are making them shave their heads.

“Look at the folded arms, the brow creases, the anger, the rebellion in their hearts. Can't  you see it ?,”

“Yes, sir.”

“That look, the contempt, that  is what I did not see in you. This is how I knew you were not like the others. Do you understand ?”

I did understand.

Maxwell and I were in front of the group now and Sgt. Maxwell walked up to them.

“You men are very unlucky,” he said,” The ones before you had it a lot easier than you ever will. Today is the start of a new day. You will all be held to the same standards of the soldiers with none of the respect.”

“I hope you all make it on your best behavior,” Corp. Franz said,” Because last time a prisoner tried to break the rules he killed himself.”

Sgt. Maxwell smiled at the comment. It made me feel uncomfortable.

I was sure Sgt. Maxwell had all but forgotten Harlow was my brother. I knew Sgt. Maxwell  had  siblings—they called him occasionally, but he did not seem as close to them. Perhaps the laugh was an act, another scare tactic he was using.

I still missed you, Harlow and thinkt about you everyday. You are  my eldest brother and you  taught me a lot. We have been together through all of the changes in our lives. I thought about how back home we  had to share a bed so, in a way we began each day and ended each night together. At least before you thought you were to to cool to hang out with me.

I would always get made fun of in school for being small or something and you would stand up for me. You were brave, Harlow. You were the one who finally called Grandma for help when we were all afraid of hurting Momma’s feelings. You  only started making mistakes when you were laid off of your job and then Grandma died. But, I think you were on the way to getting better.

Everybody now: Break the cutie !

 I started thinking about if I had properly mourned you ? I should visit your grave site and talk to you there, I think you  would like that. I will ask to visit your grave and leave a real flower and maybe one day the whole family can all come there and talk about you. We will only say good things of cour-

“HALEY !,” Maxwell  shouted at me.

I looked  up and saw the prisoners were gone, I had completely zoned out thinking about you. All of the corporals were staring at me and whispering to each other, something everyone did before Sgt. Maxwell chewed a soldier out.

“Ye-,”

“Tell me you took a record of every assignment I just gave out.”

I had not been paying attention at all. I could not even guess what he had told them.

“Answer me.” He said

“ No, sir. Um, I mean yes, sir I-I wasn’t listening, sir I--,”

“ I don’t want to hear it. You are here because of my own goodwill not to stand around like a fucking idiot, ,” He yelled at me, his face was red, “ Do you think you are special  ? Because I will be the first to tell you that you aren’t , you will lick the dirt of my boots if I tell you to because the only special person in this vicinity right now is me,”

Alex: Can’t I threaten to expose his contraband alcohol or that he kissed me or something. I can get him fired.

CPShawna: Stop acting out of character ! You are too nice and naive !

With each word he got closer and louder. I had never been spoken to like that before by anyone.

“I want you to find a way to figure out everything I said or I am having you locked up until you die,”

With the last word he walked off.

I spend the entire day tracking down every prisoner and recreating everything Maxwell had said.

There was an understood secret, I suppose.

He treated me normally during the day, and in the times when I messed up I felt I was treated  worse than he treated everyone else. His verbal lashings were something I never got used to. Some could just brush it off but, I could not.

And then there was other times. Right after he got off work.

He would force his lips on to mine. He wanted me, if I leaned away he would lean back in. He was rough more than anything, his teeth would make contact with my flesh often biting me or scraping my skin.

He would always try to undress me but I had my limits. I would back away and he would retreat, it went the same way every time.

I knew I was testing his patience but,  I had no sexual inclinations or desires whatsoever

I suppose I have been programmed against sex the same way I have been programmed against drugs and alcohol. When we moved in with Grandma she was so against any of us ever having sex and after a while the thought of it just  scared me. So, I've stayed away from anything sexual and it never came up. Our  house was so cramped it was impossible to get away with anything anyway. It was the same with most of our brothers and sisters who were old enough to know what sex was.

 Momma joked with Grandma that if she made us have that attitude than  Momma would never get to be a grandmother. Granda commented that wouldn’t be the worst thing in the world.

SH: You should have just made him asexual instead of having all this backstory.

CPShawna: Everybody now: BREAK. THE. CUTIE.

You were the exception to all of this, I know that you had gone from girl to girl since you were 15. I remember covering for you when you would sneak out or sleeping on the sofa so you could be alone.

Awkward Section Ending is Awkward

--------

The night  the new prisoners came in Sgt. Maxwell pulled at my collar as usual and I put my hand on his arm to stop him, he kept forcing my collar,  I pulled a way a bit and he finally stopped trying to undress me.

“My sentence was up with the others, yesterday, sir” I said

Alex: Yay ! I’m going home.

CPShawna: You must be new here

“And ?,” he growled

His teeth ran against the side of my neck.

“What ?  You want to leave ?,” he asked

“No, sir. Not at all,sir.  I was just thinking . . .well  . . .  I want to be a soldier  . . . like you. I want to enlist.”

“No.” he said,” That will never work.”

I was surprised how quickly he came to his answer.

“But, why ?”

____

If you are a soldier, Alex you may get killed.  Something I cannot handle.  If you are a prisoner I can keep you close.

SH:Ugh, this sounds creepy in context. But what he is really saying is he can keep Alex off the front lines if he stays working for him. Not keep him close so he can creep on him.

“There are better things for you,” I said, standing up to change clothes.

The minute he opened his ignorant mouth he, officially  killed my drive to continue.

Ms. 3: I’ve stayed quiet long enough ! Shawna Harrison what in the--

SH: It’s not me it’s her, CPShawna

CPShawna:um….

Ms. 3: Okay, CP Shawna, WTF ? These kinds of abusive ideas work on both genders. Alex is heavily infantilized and Maxwell  has no respect for Alex as a person and is objectifying and Alex happily and obediently puts up with it  Not to mention how rough and forceful Maxwell is and how Alex has to constantly tell Maxwell to stop undressing him. Maxwell is forcing Alex into a position he isn't comfortable with and yet Maxwell is kind of glorified as a character. Shawna this could almost be glorifying ra--,”

SH: I know, I know. But let’s not go there.  Not yet anyway. Moving on .

“Like what ?,” Alex asked

“Well, I am making your position permanent. And  then you will get a stipend, I am thinking 1200$ a month. You can send it to your family.”

“That is not much, sir,” Alex said

"It's better than nothing," I reminded him," Besides you will leave here with no expenses"

He rolled his eyes upward as he thought about it for a second before staring at me

Alex: Do I get an eye color ? Does anyone ?

SH: IDK, probably not, can we move on ?

Alex: Yes, sorry Mrs. Harrison

SH: No, don’t be—

CPShawna: Shut up both of you! We’re close to sexy times.

“If I may, sir.  The others . . .the soldiers make almost double that. I want to be a  part of the military, I want to be committed like you. ”

Alex got on his knees on the bed , reached up and touched my  back where my brand was, it was the first time he had ever touched me.  My brand was covered by my shirt had he really remembered what I had said. I turned around to face him and took his hands in mine.

" Do you want to be me or like me ?," I asked

"I-I don't know,sir" he said. He couldn't even look me in the eye for more than a few seconds.

"You want to be like me." I told him.

" Yes. I want to be committed and proud like you," he said

Fine.

SH: Okay, I actually like that part of the scene.

CPShawna: Meh, it’s a little too fully  clothed for me.

I could give him what he wanted.

“We can arrange that,” I said

------

The next weekend Sgt. Maxwell took me on leave with him, even though I was still technically a prisoner/ He borrowed a car and we went into the Northern District of the  LOLA sprawl. Our hometown, Sun Valley,  was only a  few hours away but, I did not say anything.

 

It was the first time I had been out of camp since I had been taken there 3 months ago. I did not know what to expect from being out of the camp. The other soldiers seemed to enjoy their time away so much but, all Maxwell did was sit on a bench in a nice area of the city and we people watched.

The war had only been going on for less than a month when you and I were taken to Camp Independence. 2 months later the talk of war was more intense but, you could not tell by how people were walking along the streets. They were all so carefree and busy with their own individual lives.

“I come here because I can not stand Fort Perch, it is full of money hungry people and Easterners who think they are being foreign or exotic for living there,” Maxwell said “If you meet someone from the East you will notice they talk different—they talk very slowly I can’t explain it. It’s all the machines they hang out with. The philosophies of that place are a disgrace, I don’t know how we have let them control us for so long.”

I sat and listened for hours as he talked about the East. He said some of the things he liked but, mostly what he hated and what confused him.

CPShawna: This is progress. Maxwell is talking about what confuses him. He’s adminiting he doesn’t understand everything.

SH: Fine. I’ll give you that.

When night began to fall he got off the bench and we began to walk around the same city block a few times before he walked into a tattoo shop. He told me to wait outside while he had a brief conversation with the man inside and then beckoned me to come in.

I followed Sgt. Maxwell to the back of the store where he told me to sit down and gave my wrist to the tattoo artist.

“I-,” I began

“Like me, right ?,” Maxwell said,”You want to be like me, right ? Commitment , right ?”

I didn’t say anything

The tattoo technician took my wrist and taking out a small blank holographic screen he began to draw on it with a pen and showed it to Sgt. Maxwell, who nodded his heard.

The tattoo artist then put my hand in a clear box with metal hinges and I watched as red lasers danced around the thin skin of my wrist. I felt a slight  burn all over the area, and looking at it was not helping.

Friendly reminder #3: It’s the future !

“Don’t look at it,” Sgt. Maxwell said

I looked at him but, he was looking away at the stores across the street.

“I  will be right back,” he said.

CPShawna: Time to buy the condoms!

SH: Are you getting progressively drunker ?

CPShawna: How else do you explain any of this ?

I wanted to say don’t go , don’t leave me but, I remained silent.

The lasers went on for an hour until I saw a military insignia forming on my wrist in deep black. Sgt. Maxwell  came back soon after, paid and took me back to the car.  We drove back to the mostly deserted military camp.

 It was well after midnight when we made it back. As I exited the car I saw Maxwell was holding a brown paper bag.

I felt inclined to hold my wrist the whole time, I could not believe what was there. It was going to be there forever. If my grandmother were alive she would have thrown a fit.

“Does it hurt ?,” he asked as we headed inside the quarters

“No, sir.” I answered

It was just  a little tingling, I sat down on the bed and held my wrist up to the light.

Sgt. Maxwell sat next to me and looked at it, not touching my wrist.

"It's very much like mine." he said,"Except the process was a hell of a lot more painless for you."

"How did you get yours ?," I asked.

"It's a long story but, something happened during my first few weeks at boot camp. The other men and I bonded over something we had to do so, we branded each other."

"What happened,sir ?," I asked

He shook his head like he couldn't remember.

"I don't think it's a story any of us will be telling." he said," It doesn't matter anyway."

SH: Wait, what happened ?

CPShawna: IDk, who cares. Let’s see what’s in the brown paper bag---which..... they somehow... still have.... even though....it’s the future.

Sgt. Maxwell's fingers glided up my wrist to my face down my neck and he put his hands in my shirt, I compulsively backed away. He removed his hand ignoring my reaction and changed the subject.

“You know, In the Eastern State, they mark all of their people with tattoos to keep track of them or some shit. All their information is inscribed into them like that mark.”

CPShawna: Continuity ! See it connects, cause Alan has one of those.

Alan: Hey speaking of me, shouldn’t you be finishing up MY story ?

SH: Moving on ! I heard something about a brown paper bag ?

He took my wrist and traced over the fresh tattoo with his finger.

“What kinds of information, sir ?,”

“What do you mean what kinds? Everything ! Their ids, money, hell maybe even their likes and dislikes. They just scan you like something at the store. Can you imagine ?,.”

I couldn’t. To me it seemed illogical and creepy.

Alan: You little—

CPShawna: Hey! You are not in this—

SH: Yet, anyway.

Maxwell opened the bag he had brought in and took out another bottle of whiskey. He opened it and poured two shots.

CPShawna: Aw, sookey, sookey now ! We know what whiskey does to them.

SH: Not as bad as what whiskey does to us.

 

----5---

I was grand standing, I had been all day , going on about the East. I did it because  I knew Alex was not like my co-workers or family, he would not tell me to ‘shut the hell up’. Once I got started on talking politics I could not stop.

It’s not as if I had other plans tonight, anyway.

  After 5 shots I could visibly see him losing it. His “yes, sirs” and “really,sirs ?” were becoming slurred.

He was getting drunk, and a piece of me was worried others would find out but I didn’t care. I was not throwing away that much alcohol again and I couldn’t finish it on my own.

SH: Why not ? You’re like a giant ? Also, notice how no one is ever hungover.

CPShawna: Except us when we edit this. Because we edit this for some reason.

Besides, no one who mattered would be in camp tomorrow, it’s a Sunday--they’d all still be on leave.

Before anything else could happen I made sure that most of the bottle was empty.

When it was partially empty I moved my face close to his  and he began to kiss me. Soon, he was sitting in my lap, his head twisted upward to meet mine, his legs were straddling my left thigh, his back arching against my chest—we had never been this close in proximity to each other before. It had only been a few minutes and I was already hard.

SH: Okay, wait. If he is kissing him, how can his back be to his chest.

CPShawna: I think he’s like facing away from Maxwell, and twisting his head to kiss him. It’s sexy…or that’s a typo

SH: Nope, it's just an awkward position.

 

Using my foot I opened the bottom drawer on the desk and I reached over and  pulled out lavender body oil that hadn’t been used in months. I had not had the time to sleep with anyone since the start of this war.

SH: Which begs the question; who else in the camp has he been sleeping with ? Why have body oil just lying around ?

CPShawna: I think he just carries it around with him. Or something. IDK, the point it it's been a few months for him.

Alex was too drunk to even notice I had just taken something out of the drawer. I unbuttoned his pants  reached into feel him---he had the smallest dick I had ever felt. He didn’t fight me as I slipped his pants off, applied some of the oil to my hand and started gently fondling him.

SH: Well, Maxwell is rude. Also, you used the D word ? Really ? Really ?

CPShawna: NO! Maxwell did, duh.

SH: Fondling ? Really ? What about caressing, touching, feeling ? Anything else. This is horrible word choice.

CPShawna: Shut up.

He immediately felt the effects of what I was doing, he was beginning to  flush a deep shade of pink. His head was now leaning on my chest, he was no longer kissing me, his mouth was just hanging slightly  open.   He was  so overtaken by the little bit of pleasure I gave him he was not even swallowing, he was drooling a bit as he panted and moaned into my ear.

 It was as if all he could think about was how I was making him feel. He reminded me of the women I dated with each sound that came from his throat. He was weak and literally melting in my hand.

Alex: I …remind him…of…a woman ?

CPShawna: Well, this is awkward.

I considered how this would end.

SH; Can’t this literally only end in one way ?

I placed his arms around my neck so, I was not supporting all his weight (not that there was much to support) on my chest and grazed my lips over his.  He made a noise like was about to tell me something but he didn’t say anything. I could feel every single muscle in his body as I peeled more layers of his clothes off.

His moans and whimpers got louder and I could feel he was close to the edge. He came faster than I anticipated and I could not catch him as his arms slipped from my neck  (probably the body oil...it's a hazard)he collapsed on his knees in front of me making a dry heaving noise as a puddle of semen formed on the floor in front of him.

SH: Really ? Really ? You used Semen ? Really ? Also, if this is Maxwell who uses the D work would he really say semen ?

CPshawna: Hey, even I have my vulgarity limits. Also admit, it’s fun to say/type semen.

SH: It’s really not.

CPShawna: I’m so drunk.

SH: I'm not even going to get into how it's odd anything would be on the floor if he technically finished on the bed.

CPShawna: You ruin everything.

 

I couldn’t have planned it better.

As Alex caught his breath and started swallowing again I took his chin and tilted his head up so we were looking eye to eye. I opened his mouth, which was wet with salivia  bringing him closer I put my erection inside. 

SH: Erection ? Erection ? Okay, I think I used that one….I’ll allow it. I guess

CPShawna: You are really ruining this scene!

SH: Oh and saliva isn’t

CPShawna: Moving on.

SH:ITA.

I opened my own mouth and nonverbally instructed him to copy the movements of my tounge.

 “This is lesson number 50,”I said

CPShawna: Oh no I didn’t ! Oh yes I did ! See this is a reference to the 50 lessons. See ? It’s a call back.

SH: Giving your subordinates lessons in….not sure what word to use here…those types of sexual activity is so illegal !  Also, I looked at the playlist, why the heck is Lost by Anouk playing in this scene ? It does not fit.

CPShawna: Do you want to speculate on how Maxwell knows how to do a Lesson Number 50 ?

Shawna: No.

CPShawna: We can call it Wedensdays--

Shawna: Moving on !

 

***

I was feeling extra motivated the next day when I awoke so I prepared to go and do some extra work, maybe spend an extra hour at the gym. 

SH: Cause that’s how sex works, kids. *sarcasm*

As I adjusted my tie I heard a rustling in my bed. I turned and  watched Alex wake. He had passed out only a couple of hours ago. I only hoped he was not going to be a sloppy drunk.  He look down at himself and back at me. His eyes were red and he was clearly hungover.  I fixed my tie and kissed him before going back to the mirror.

Through the mirror I watched him lie there and fully wake himself up.

I reuse this convention in Teenage Dream I think. Where characters are talking to each other, but looking in a mirror. I think it’s in Blessed Hearts too.

“Do you remember last night ?,” I asked

He nodded his head a small smile came over your face. I was now on an ego high. The prisoners were going to hate me today.

“Was it your best ?,” I asked, feeding my ego some more

“Eh . . .my only.” He said.

I fumbled the gold cuff links in my hand and they fell to the floor.

*spit take*

I had to clarify this.

“We didn’t have sex, you know. ”

“I-I . . .I know that.” He said.

I secured the cuff links into place.

“I am going  to work today on the prisoner’s detail.  If you aren’t throwing up, meet me in the prison line up at 8,” I said walking out.

 

SH: Okay, time to be super delicate. This last scene implies that Alex has never in 21 years had a “happy ending” which is just really kind of implausible. I think I took this “innocence” thing a little too far.

CPShawna: Well, okay I think  Alex just has a hard time getting hard and ejaculating—

SH: DELICATE !

CPSHAWNA: Okay, okay. I think Alex just has a little bit of erectile dysfunction or something so he can't masturbate.

SH: Either way, I’ve got to stop taking my characters v-cards in kind of odd substance fueled ways.

Alex: For the love of fiction, Ms. Harrison and Mrs. Harrison can we please stop talking about this?

SH: Yeah, you’re right. Let’s end this.