-1-

Stepping outside the house, nothing looks  different. The air  has a smell  of smoke and decay. The streetlights make an electric buzzing noise from the generators. I saw on The Daily Republic News  that when the bombs went off, the entire Sprawl went black for an hour. People were trampled to death in the chaos.

Despite the forbidding mood, I’m eager to get out and I seem to be the only one. The streets are empty, people are so afraid of another attack they are hiding in their homes. A few  have started to carry gas masks.  Not that those would be any help to you if you were unprotected in a nuclear blast, but we all need our crutches

I decide to take the blue sports car we still had since I can’t carry two cases of wine. I’m not even sure I’m supposed to be driving the car, but I don’t feel like asking.  Before the attacks, parking had been a nightmare, it’s why Sara and the Dories didn’t keep a car. But now, even  the most popular strip is only the occasional police officer and a few RLA  conscription post. I  drive through the strip twice before I spot the Luxor and find a park in the back of the building.

As I walk up to the door I can hear the sound of music and people dancing. I’m excited to be around some life again and hope I don’t do anything stupid to fuck it up.

Before I can even get to the door, a uniformed RLA Officer steps in front of me. Judging by his clean business cut uniform and the fact he was standing outside of the bar, I think he's a Conscricptor. He must have been waiting around the corner for me.

“Have you reported for draft ?,” he asks me.

“I’m 16,” I lie. It’s just easier that way. They aren’t supposed to hassle minors and if I try any other excuse they might try and scan me and figure out my implants been hacked.

“Then what are you doing visiting a bar ?,” he asks me

Shit, right.

“I work here cleaning tables,” I say. “Do you want to look me up ?”

I don’t know why I say it.

Luckily, he just shakes his head and moves out of my way.

I make an ass out of myself and push the pull door, but once I get it open I quickly slip inside. The bar is all  black  marble and silver accents.  It has an elegant ancient pyramid theme to it. There is a small dance floor with a few women drunkingly dancing on it, but mostly the place is dead.  I spot Jean sitting in a table in the corner, a blonde woman has her legs wrapped around his waist and his tongue is tracing the inside of her neck. He actually makes eye contact with me and  jerks his head to the right  before turning his attention back to the blonde.

I look over to where he gestured and see Minnie sitting at the bar, with 3 plain white coffee mugs  in front of her. She merely raises her manicured eyebrows when she sees me and then puts her forehead down on the bar.

“Fuck what they say,” she says when I sit down. “Caffeine is not a stimulant.”

The bartender is in his early thirties, he's a tall, muscular guy with black tattoos crawling over the elongated and strong features of his face. His skin is a healthy tanned bronze and when  he scratches his jaw and I notice he has the same diamond encrusted Shy Cartel ring I saw Sara and Jean wear at Rayne’s place in Mojave.

Fall down seven times, Stand up eight

“What do you want ?,” The bartender asks, his voice and facial expression are deeply serious.

“I need two cases of New Rose Hotel Noir,” I say  giving him Sara’s card.

“And who the fuck are you ? ,” he growls, reaching for what I’m sure is  a gun under the bar

“No-no-she sent me--”

“It’s fine.” Minnie interrupts. “This is Alan. The guy I told you about. Alan this is El.”

El lifts up a  large black revolver as a light of recognition goes in his eyes . He looks apologetic, but says nothing before going through a swinging door to the the back of the bar.

“You talk to him about me ?"  I ask

“Well, it’s all I do. Talk to fucking El. All day. Since no one wants to fuck me,” she says in a fake chipper voice.

“Slow night ?” I ask hesitantly

“Slow yesterday and slow tomorrow and  slow forever.  None of my usual or anyone for that matter, is coming out anymore ! They’re all like drafted or hiding or think the air is going to fry their lungs or…or…you know, they’re dead.

She nods her head over to her brother who is now pressing the blonde woman against the wall with his hands up her skirt while  whispering in her ear.

"But, of course Jean  has cornered the lonely woman market. As if I don’t know my way around the female body too, I mean I fucking have one," she scoffs.

She spins in the chair nervously until she is facing the bar and arches back before sitting up with her shoulders slumped.

“Pascal is dead,” she sighs, running fingers through her hair.

I don’t know how to respond. Minnie hooks her black heels around the base of the chair and leans over the bar to pick up the coffee pot from behind the bar.  She pours herself some more, takes a sip and passes the cup to me, but I shake my head.

“I’m sorry,” I say. And I mean it. Sure, I thought Pascal was a cheating asshole who fed Minnie’s addiction, but he also made her happy. He was a good guy, hell, I told him about me being kidnapped.

“His girlfriend told me about it--”

“I thought he was married…”

“Wife, girlfriend. Whatever,” she says dismissively. “ He and Audrina were only married for like maybe 5 months. Anyway, she said some RLA son of bitch brought him to her in a fucking  jar. A fucking jar. And she was all like, she would have wanted his body and they were like, there wasn’t much left. And so this dick overhead her telling me this  and was like, ‘it’s probably not his ashes anyway. They just take whatever human remains are near the dog tags’.”

“That’s fucked up,” I volunteer

“Right?,” she agrees. "El broke the dick's jaw and banned him from the bar."

We both turn when the kitchen doors swing open and El rolls a small dolly out from behind the bar with the two plastic cases. He has a friendly look on his face but I make a mental note to never piss him off.

“Lead the way,” he says.

I hop of the barstool and  he follows me out back to the car where the RLA Conscriptor eyes me suspiciously but still doesn’t say anything.  Minnie follows behind as El puts the cases in the trunk.

“You wanna give me a ride ?,” she asks.

“Of course,” I say.

El closes the trunk and gives Minnie a hug while eyeing the Conscriptor.

“That motherfucker scans me every morning,” El says. “They haven’t called my number yet, but I’m fucked if they do.  Rayne better come through for me and make sure I’m not in the lottery.”

“God, I hope this is all over soon,” Minnie sighs.

“Me too,” I agree.

El shakes my hand before heading back inside.

 Minnie slides into the car and puts her black sandals on the dashboard as I pull back to the main road. She's silent for the whole ride and listens to music on her Sydnicate. When we  pull up the house, I see we have visitors. There are 4 large silver cars sitting outside with tinted windows along with a large white moving truck.

 The front door is ajar

“Who is that ?,” I ask

“I don’t know….”

She reaches into her gaping silver handbag and takes out the small pink pistol. She frantically looks around the car, opening hatches and banging the side doors until she finds the glock in the glove box and gives it to me.

The gun is heavy in my hand I don’t know how to shoot with it, but I figure now isn’t the time to mention that.

Minnie is stealthily quiet and I’m having  dejavu as she leads the way up to front door. Once we are up the steps she crouches down with her ear on the door and then drops her weapon.

“What ?,” I whisper.

“It’s fine,” she says, pocketing the weapon and walking inside.

Sara is standing in the middle of the living room and Rayne is standing in front of her. They are surrounded by six large men, Rayne's guard probably,  who have  their heads averted from Rayne and Sara. One of them winks at Minnie and she gives him a half smile.

 “Sara, I need you,” Rayne is saying. “Think of what we can do together. Think of the opportunity. I can get enough money to send you to the East to finish your research.”

“I just want some space. I told you," she responds

“I’ve given you time. This is not the time for you to be selfish. The cartel needs you.”

When they hear us enter the room they pause. Rayne looks at us with a smile.

“Alan, Minnow ! Good news,” he greets us. “I’ve got a new property for you all. You move today.”

“No, we aren’t.” Sara says. “Get out, Rayne. “

“Sara, be reasonable. Luce shouldn’t be sleeping on a couch in a drafty basement--”

“Please don’t act like you care about him now.”

“Sara, I understand I got out of hand. He’s a child and for a second....we---I--forgot that. This is my gesture of apology. I have the trucks and the men outside, I can have you all moved in by the end of the day.”

“No, Rayne. Not today. And if any of your men touch my shit it will be the last thing they ever touch.”

He looks at her exasperated, but Sara’s stern expression doesn’t falter. They seem to be in the middle of a stare-off, but her intent stare wins out.

 “We will reschedule.  Everyone out.” He commands and the men begin to move outside.

Rayne turns to leave with them.

“Wait,” Sara chokes out and he turns back to her immediately.

“Yes ?,” he asks

“ I need to see Blackbird,” she says. Her voice is softer. “ I can’t get in  contact with him and Luce is getting worse. Can one of your people make sure Blackbird survived and tell him to call me ?”

Rayne simply nods before walking out of the house.

***
    -2-

Jean doesn’t come back that night and I’d be worried if it weren’t a more common occurrence.  While Minnie’s core audience is leaving her to die, Jean is gaining a whole new one who don’t mind waking up with him the next morning.

I sleep a lot during the day now, so I’ve taken to catching up on the news at night. This whole war or conflict, whatever they want to call it  is  horrific as fuck....and I can’t get enough of it. I tell myself I am staying informed in case I hear something that may help me get home. But it's not true. I Just have this urge to know.

It’s well past midnight and I’m using one of Jean's screens with headphones so I don’t wake up Minnie. There is this nightly feature that plays at the end of the The Daily Republic News that highlights the military style funerals some of the Border Patrol members were given.  The televised  funerals are  really just more propaganda to inspire people into joining the RLA. To give meaning to the deaths. The media is still thinking of a name for the night all those people were killed by the drones. The Silent Thousand. Night of 1000 Massacre.

Whatever they call it, it was murder.

It feels like a betrayal thinking that because after all it was my government. But, it’s not like they would have consulted me before doing any of this anyway so I don’t bear any real loyalty.

The Daily Republic cuts out and there is a commercial on now for the draft. It’s showing quick shots of men in boot camp with smiles on their face talking about how important freedom is to them. It pans across the top notch facilities, expansive gyms and green training fields  There is a short clip at the end of the men being kissed by these hot women and then the screen ends reminding them to report to the drafting center to see if their number has been called so they can have a chance of a lifetime.

Just as The Daily Republic  is about to come back on I feel a hand on my chest, I jump and my heart gives out,  but then I see Minnie’s face.  For a second I’m embarrassed I let her scare me. She doesn’t laugh at my expense like I'd expect, but sits next to me wordlessly.  Her watery brown eyes are calm and slightly glassy. She puts her hand between my legs and presses her glossy lips to mine.

There is a small trace of alcohol on her breath, she is buzzed but not drunk. And even though I think kissing me means nothing to her….I don’t know how to deny her.

She pulls me up and leads me over to  the oversized bed she and Jean share. She eases me down and  her legs straddle my waist as she leans down to deepen the kiss and finger my waistband.

Kissing her is exactly like I’ve imagined it.

But, only because I’ve imagined it in every possible way.

I feel like I’m radiating heat and suddenly the t-shirt and boxers I’m wearing feel like too many clothes.

Her eyes are locked on me in this lustful stare and she is smiling as she  feels me with her hands. I want to somehow reciprocate, but I’ve never gotten this far with a girl before. I put one hand inside her parted thighs and run my thumb along her skin until she laughs.

“You’ve never done this before, have you ?,” she laughs, tossing back her hair.

I reluctantly nod my head.

“That’s okay,” she says.

She pulls me up so I am sitting and wraps her legs over my waist while continuing to kiss me, her hands focusing on my neck and back and I'm electric.  Her own body is rubbing against my leg and I start to think we are going to keep our clothes on when she finally pulls away and in one motion whips her lace white night dress over her head.

 I drink in her appearance. Minnie’s body is tanned and covered in curved lines and flat planes and I can see and feel the  scars that made it that way.

She guides my hands over her body, her breasts are slightly goosebumped, but feel soft and warm against my fingertips. There are no scars there and I wonder if they are real.  I press my face to her chest and her skin is incredibly soft and has a freshly showered scent; I want to kiss every inch of it. She manipulates my fingers delicately into her body until I hear her soft moans.

Minnow takes my shirt off and I remember my still healing bruises and caved in body, but she seems oblivious. She kisses my chest and her hands run through my hair and I am aching and so desperate to be with her.

As if she can read my mind she lowers herself to me.

And it last 30 seconds.

Maybe less.

"Sorry," I mumble breathlessly.

I think she’ll want to try again, but she rolls off me with a pensive look on her face. She runs her hands under my hair and over my face.

I want to ask her why, but I know that is stupid. I don’t think I want to even know the answer.  I just want to do it again.

“Can I show you something ?,” she asks.

“You can show me anything after that,” I say, attempting to be clever.

She laughs—a little too hard—and playfully smacks my chest. She stands up and I get hard again just looking at her naked body from behind. I turn away  from her and get up to get dressed again. I peek over to see she is just putting on a pink cotton night dress and robe, so I put on a pair of running pants and my white shirt.

She takes my hand and leads me through the basement and up the stairs and to the kitchen.  We don’t have to be quiet since Sara has been sleeping in her old bedroom because she figures the looters weren’t coming back. I can't help but notice how she's been keeping her distance from me lately. 

Minnow rummages through one of the kitchen cabinets and takes out a bottle of champagne and a package of cookies. Setting them on the kitchen island, she jumps on top of it and pulls at a small latch I never noticed from the ceiling A small step ladder comes down and she hoists herself in to the attic. I hop on to the counter and follow after her, it takes me a few attempts to get up.

-3-

The attic is small and in the moonlight all I can only make out is boxes of paper files and piles of men’s clothes carefully folded. Minnow is crouching at another panel above the attic ceiling and when it opens she throws the champagne and cookies up and then pulls herself through to the roof. Once she is up, she kneels over to help me up.

When I finally get my bearing and hoist myself up, I get a view I wasn’t expecting. Looking north I can see over the roofs of the entire neighborhood and most of the Sprawl until some of the smaller buildings dot it out. But, when I turn south all I can see the desert and somehow the stars look bigger. Like there is a mirror that distorts them the minute they are away from the city. I can even make out the barest recognition of The Valley and organ donation building, I had no idea The Valley was so close to us.

The house itself is square, so the roof is flat and has a lip on it. Minnie sits down right on  it. She tears open the cookies and gives me the champagne to open. I put it between the tiles in the roof to pop the lid off when she snatches it from me.

“If Sara hears this she will shoot up the whole neighborhood, dumbass.” She whispers as she puts the bottle under her robe and puts her body over it as she opens it with a small pop.

The bubbly liquid flows over her robe and down her legs.

“Now who's a dumbass ?,” I say and she laughs

I’m amazed I can say the right things to her because Minnie is someone who can be unstable. While she's always been playful and even patient with me, I'm waiting for the moment when her kindness runs out.

She takes a drink from the bottle and hands it to me. I’m thirsty and  I know you aren’t supposed to chug champagne,but I do.  My Dad would definitely disprove.

And just like that I remember where I am and why I haven't seen Dad in weeks.  I remember I'm trapped in a crumbling country against my will, living with people who kill for a cartel.  It hits me hard.

“What are you thinking about ?,” she asks

“I just fucked a minor,” I lie without thinking.

She nearly chokes on her champagne.

“That does not count as fucking,” she says

“That bad ?,” I ask trying to turn it into a joke, but I feel like a joke.

“Not bad…just not what I’d call fucking.”

She gives me the bottle back to me and kisses me in the process. I’m getting better at kissing her, or maybe it’s my own buzz. She pulls away from me and looks at the view.  I think she is just as transfixed by the stars as I am.

In the silence I mess with the label. I notice it’s Dom Perignon.

“What was your first time like ?,” I ask her. I think I’m drunk, but I really want to know.

She sighs.

“I don’t know,” she says. “But I remember the first time I had someone pay me big. It was with this guy, who was like Julian Walker’s deputy or something if you can believe that.”

I’m not sure I want to hear her story, but instead of telling her to stop I take another drink

“Dakota set me up, because Jean didn't like to set me up. It was back when he was against me being here. Anyway, I was really high on this new shit that turns your brain off, because this guy was just not attractive and I didn’t want to remember much. I do remember that it lasted a while.  Anyway, when I woke up in the back of the club I had $100 more dollars to my name. Of course that was bullshit, because later I found at Dakota skimmed a $300 finder's fee.”

“How do you do that ?,” I ask. “Let them have your body, without you there ?”

She shrugs.

“It’s easy. I mean, most of them aren’t dangerous or anything. They just think I’m some foolish little beautiful girl, whose way over her head and likes to spread her legs…and maybe I am”

“I don’t think that--,” I begin.

“It’s fine, Alan. Sometimes that’s the best thing a girl can be... in this world, anyway. And I've done pretty well for myself, right ?”

I don’t know how respond to her and she just twists the top of one of the cookies off and gives it to me.  That’s how we eat them until one of the sleeves is gone. Then Minnie stands up and brushes the crumbs  off her robe. She reaches into the pocket and sitting back down carefully extracts two syringes.

Each filled with the dark metallic liquid. The Chrome she got from Pascal.

“I thought those were for a rainy day ?,” I ask, the nervousness creeping into my voice.

“Ever day since those damn bombs  has been a rainy day.  People are going to keep dying, the government is like, sacrificing them. God, Alan the world has gone fucking homicidal. There may not be a tomorrow and I've tried everything and just need to feel good, you know ?”

I do know. But, I have my limits and I am not doing Chrome with her. Not when I’m so close to going home. Not that I've told her or Jean about the deal Sara made with me about going home. Sara never told me not to tell them, but I kind of got the impression it was something that was supposed to be between me and her.

“ I’ll just watch you,” I say.

“C’mon,” she sings rolling the syringes in her hand. “I don’t like going solo when I have a partner. We ate something, that will make it go down easier.”

I just shake my head. I realize this is probably going to be the thing that makes her hate me.

She frowns.

“Oh, what ?  Don’t want to break the rules of the perfect world you can’t wait to get back to you. God, wake up !," she chastises me.  " You're not home, you're here. And this is how people cope here.”

“I’d just like to go a day without breaking a law, okay ? ," I say. " Is it so bad I'd like to do the right thing for a while ?”

“Yes.” She says tersely.

“What ?,”

“People who always do the right thing are always miserable assholes.”

“Really ?,” I say sarcastically.

“Yeah,” she breathes. “Everyone needs something  about them that is just….fucked up. That’s why I like the Sprawl, everyone displays the worse thing about themselves and their flaws and that just feels honest. Because when people act like they are perfect, they are usually hiding something.”

“Well, just because you use your vices as a crutch doesn't mean everyone does.” 

“Really ?  Sara and her drinking, Jean and his biofixes, Rayne and his control issues, Luce and being a douchebag ? Tell me you don't feel like this place isn't swallowing you whole. If you want to survive here you need to be a little fucked up, you need a vice too."

I didn’t need one though. I’d survived this long without doing anything that was technically illegal. I hadn’t officially killed anyone, I’d never knowingly did illegal drugs and I never stopped caring. 

But I was fucked up too, because if I needed a vice to survive the rest of my sentence here; I wanted it to be her.

Minnie has been the focal point of my time here. She'd been like a friend to me  when I thought I had no one on my side and I didn't want to lose her until I absolutely had to.

I put my arm in her lap and she runs up and down the veins of my arms with her fingers. If this is what I have to do to keep her then I will.

“Let’s split one, okay ?,” I say as a last attempt a compromise

She rolls her eyes and nods as she gently pushes the syringe into my arm. It hits my veins cold and flushes through my body in a welcoming warmth. I close my eyes to take it all in and when I open them the syringe in her hands in empty.

My body is shaking and I want to curse her for not listening to me , I want to call her a name, but I can’t remember which one. I feel myself fading and I can only really follow her voice telling me to  hold her arm steady while she injects herself.

I watch and it seems to hit her differently, but I’m sure she has a higher tolerance than I do. She has a cool smile and then her hands are moving up my arms. My skin is prickly now and only her touch seems to be able to soothe it.

Every sensation I've ever had feels electrocuted and I'm on fire. She’s beautiful  and there and so I kiss her. pressing my lips on to hers she laughs

I think...

She fades away instantly. For a second she is her avatar from the Grand Theft Auto Arcade game and still lying dead on the beach waiting for me to get to her.

I think we have sex again on the roof.

She’s sitting up and making a sound and she’s saying something about Pascal and she’s thanking him

And calling him her Angel

It doesn’t matter it all just feels so good and so right

I’m lying down 10 minutes or 10 hours or 10 days but most likely an hour later or more because it's still dark outside when she finally gets from on top of me and says she wants to go inside and I have to come inside too. She’s kneeling by the roof door and I don’t get up to join her.

Because I can’t. I just can't. But, I'm fine because it feels so good, I can't put it into words or thoughts or explanation. I feel good.

“Alan!,” she slurs, exasperated. “Come on !”

She walks back  over to me and when she stands infront of me she disappears. She just turns Invisible.

But I can hear her voice and feel her hands pulling me up.

“God, you’re fucked,” the invisible Minnie laughs

I remember how to stand up and she’s no longer invisible, but she wavers.  Her hands trace all over her body as she goes back to the door and opens it.

“You go in  first. I can’t leave you up here alone, you’ll do something stupid--,”

“You're not my babysitter, you’re younger than me, remember ?,” I tell her.

She laughs and as I walk what feels like going towards her and she looks horrified and gets farther and farther and farther and farther away.

“Alan!,” she shouts.

Vibrations ripple through my body and it is like another bomb, only it’s not. It’s just me. And my vision is flashing with white light before it goes out and I can’t see a thing.

Then I can’t breathe.

Oh, fuck. I’m dying.

No. I'm flying.

There is ground is beneath me greedily snatching me down and I’m falling,

Only I don’t land on my feet.

I don’t know where my feet are.

All I see, feel and know is a cool, calm liquid blackness.

Everything is beautiful 

Everything is beautiful

Everything is beautiful

and nothing hurts....

And it’s nice

----

A/N

You: Wow, Shawna, Bruno Mars' Gorilla for a sex scene  ? That's so original.

Me: I know, I know. I was going to take it out (and use something super original like What U Want by Lady Gaga and R. Kelly), but then I thought 'a body full of liquor with  cocaine kicker' is something Minnie would be down with.

You: Didn't you say no more love scenes ?

Me: Hmm, oops.

- My Fault by Imagine Dragons was my new favorite song for a while. It sort of inspired the scene. I think I may have listened to it too much though.

Did you all catch the trope Minnie used ? It's a Title Drop !

I think this is my first real Title Drop. This scene isn't super pivotal that it needed a title drop, but I always knew if I had one I wanted Minnie to say it to Alan when they were alone. Incidentally enough, the word Vice appears (unbeknownst to me until recently) in Veritas. It's said by Sara in Chapter 11. It's when Minnie is detoxing and Sara says she picked the right vice.