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 Bang Sesh Podcast Transcript

Episode #147

Originally Recorded: February 14^th 2012

The transcript was created and edited by Mistress Roxie

 

Intro Music

Maverick: Helloooo, loves and welcome to  Bang Sesh, a weekly podcast where we have fun and talk about sex, life, love, and culture. I’m your host Maverick !

You can see me on LiveCam.net every Monday, Wednesday and Friday from 6-8PM and 12AM – 2AM Pacific Standard Time. You can also check me out at CutieHouse.com where me, my cutie roommate Mistress Roxie and our cutie sub Violet have 24 hour  live web cams. AND  I’m now on YouTube under MavOnYouTube where I do clothing hauls, beauty tutorials, travel vlogs and general PG-13 silliness.

And don’t forget about the Love Club. For $35.99  a month you can become an official Maverick Love and get exclusive access to chatrooms, video versions of all podcast episodes,  discounts on my virtual Dom sessions and exclusive Love Club only livestream events.

And last but not least this episode is sponsored by Rotten Apple Toys. Use promo code MavLove M-A-V-L-O-V-E for 15% off a purchase of $50 or more. I fucking love Rotten Apple Toys. Mistress Roxie does product reviews on her YouTube channel for vagina products  and if you check into my cam show this week you’ll see me use the triple x silicone dildo. Plus I’ll give one away!

Okay, now on to the show. My guest today is someone lots of you in the Love Club have been asking for. I was in softcore porn for a while and my guest is the first person I ever did a scene with! Say hi to  Ms. Angel. Angel, say hi to the pod!

Angel: (unclear)

Maverick: Oh, no no, babe, (giggle) you have to talk into the microphone—Like this! 

Angel: Like this ? Hello ?…(unclear)

Maverick: Let me adjust your mic sooo…okay, just like that! Let’s start over. Mistress Roxie, edit that out when you hear this ! (laughter) she’s probably not going to edit that out but Rox is the only one of us who knows how to use the podcast editing software.So.

(Editor's note: He's right !)

Angel: Sorry. Hi, Maverick’s podcast. Um, (cute but clearly nervous laughter) (pause) You were talking very fast before (more adorable nervous laughter)

Maverick: Girl, I gotta do that promo and I get super excited to talk to my fans! This is your first podcast ri—

Angel: Your, um, shit I'm just looking at you and you skin looks amazing, seriously, like you’re glowing—

Maverick: Awww, well my girls at Ulta hook me up on the skincare regimen but you’re one to speak. You look even better than the day I met you—

Angel: Don’t you dare say my fucking age!

Maverick: Calm down, we don’t do that here. BUT I am going to expose you a little--

Angel: I’m sca--(nervous laughter)

(Editor's note: Maverick totally talking over his guest. Rude!)

Maverick: Before I hit record  we were talking and you didn’t know what a cam show was--

Angel: Oh, that ? I didn't but you taught me...I thought you were going to—

(sounds of microphone being covered) (muted conversation)

Maverick: Oh, no, I wouldn’t do that.  Just to clarify, Loves, we’re not going to share Angel’s real name for reasons. So, Angel, first of all I still can’t believe I got you to come on the pod--

Angel: Well, I finally had a day off and nothing better to do--

Maverick: Really ? Because we’re recording on Valentine’s Day and—and I know I promised I wouldn’t talk about your personal life too much—but you have a boy toy at home. And Loves, by boy I mean maaaaaan. Angel’s boyfriend is a RIDICULOUS silver foxie hottie.

Angel:  Oh, well I meant nothing to do during the day obviously. We have plans later…um, we don’t normally do Valentine’s Day stuff but—

Maverick: (hand clap)  I wish I’d thought to invite you two to the Valentine’s Day event at the club. I just—we haven't talked in forever—but I interrupted. Tell me about the V day plans with the beau!

Angel: (laughter) How much coffee have you had today ? You have so much ene-

Maverick: Phsaw. Uh-uh. I’m all about yerba mate these days.

Angel: Okay---well...hmm...my partner and I are…getting out of a rough patch and doing like…the stupid little couple-y, relationship-y shit so…yeah. (nervous laughter). I…I haven’t been to a club in forever, I would have loved to--

Maverick: Okay so, just to break this down for any new listeners we’re talking about a BDSM club. BDSM is a consensual sexual interest in Bondage, Discipline, Sadism and Masochism  and a club is a place for people interested to meet or play—

Angel: You have to explain that to this audience ?

Maverick: Mmhm. We had a little spot in Entertainment Weekly earlier this month and I get a lot of  new vanilla listeners and if I don’t explain how it works I get angry e-mails—

 (Editor's note: *I* get the e-mails...and the unsolicited dick pics 😔 )

Angel: Oh

Maverick: Yeah, Mistress Roxie and I do a segment where we read the funny ones. So, if you are new to the pod there are some links to an explainer episode I did about misconceptions in the podcast description. So, I’m a pro Dom--Dominant at a private club and  online which means people pay for my time, no sex involved. But Angel and his boyfriend have an actual Dominant/submissive relationship where it's a part of like your sex life and relationship. Is that right...

Angel: I mean, yes. But we’re getting out of a rough patch and focusing on our non-kink life so we're not really...um. (laughter) You know what, that’s all you get about him--

Maverick: Wait, wait, wait one more. Please ? Okay, last thing about stupid hot silver foxy hottie…you met him while doing porn, right ?....Babe, don’t nod it’s a podcast—

Angel: But the camera—

Maverick: That’s only for the Love Club. Most people are listening to just the audio when they work out or whatever. Oh! And if you’re on the treadmill right now I just want to say; YOU GO IT, BABE KEEP PUSHING, GO, GO, GO! (Editor's Note: Cut out Maverick laughing like a hyena at his own bit)  Back to my question; what was it like for silver foxie hottie to see you doing porn. I know it was another life for you but people always want me to ask about significant others ands sex work and that's not my ministry.

Angel: Oh. I don’t know…I guess he was fine with it. He has some trouble socially and was single for a long time and watched a lot of porn so he's basically living the dream (cute laugh). He used to watch my stuff and  probably still would if there was any of left on the internet. You know, I did my last shoot like 3 years ago for that Kinked.com website--

Maverick: Are you fucking kidding me ? How did I not know this ? God, that start up was such an epic failure. 

Angel: I can't find them. I think they all got deleted when the site went bankrupt. I know that student who made that movie had some but he didn't really put me in the movie.

Maverick: (pouting) Right ? I happen to be at a KinkCon where he premiered it...I think it was called something like Obscenity.  I didn't make the final cut either, damn it. But yay for our friends who did. Speaking of failed porn ideas—do you like my segue ?

Angel: Are we segueing ?

Maverick: Yep. Most of the guests on Bang Sesh are people I've worked with—

Angel: You’ve worked with 146 people--

Maverick: I can’t believe you’re fucking saying that to me! My bodycount from back in the day was like…nothing?  And some guests are  repeat regulars like Mistress Roxie and Master Gaige. Now…when I first asked you to come to the podcast you didn’t even remember we fooled around--

Angel: I—did but--okay, just to clarify I didn’t remember it because you got me completely shitfaced-”

Maverick: I didn’t mean to! I was a kid ! I didn’t know what the fuck I was doing--"

Angel: I—Do you know that country song Tequila Makes Her Clothes Fall Off—

Maverick: (Editor's note:  Maverick shrieking laughter and clapping like seal) No! What the fuck kind of rape-y song—

Angel: I don’t know. But apparently that’s me and vodka. I haven’t had cotton candy vodka in years-- 

Maverick: Okay, whoa, it was whipped cream vodka and I—

Angel: Whatever—

Maverick: And I  perfected that drink, babe. I perfected it. But let’s tell the whole story to the pod. You can start.

(silence)

Maverick: What ? Why do you have your hands over your mouth like that--

Angel: I’m just doing math—

Maverick: Uh oh—

Angel: You were not legal when this happened. You were like---

Maverick: Bitch, shut up! (laughter) I shouldn’t have been drinking but I’ve heard your underage stories so--

Angel: I know but it makes the Dad in me cringe--

Maverick: Yeah, we’ll talk about you having a kid later but first the the story. I’m telling it now.

Okay, for all you newbies Angel and I worked for this porn company called Virtue, pour some out, and a bunch of us would do like night club events. One night a bunch of us were at this club outside of Reno and a  flavored vodka company was doing promo. At the end of the night the dude from the vodka company had like 2 cases of whipped cream vodka samples they couldn’t give out cause of liquor laws or some shit.

So, he gave the entire case to our group and we were all  staying at like a chain hotel and decided to do like a little  sleepover  and I’m remembering we somehow got an entire thing of orange juice at two in the morning—

Angel: Well,  the Virtue girls were doing a gentlemen’s club appearance in the same city so we were all together and one of them convinced the front desk guy to give her an entire orange juice carafe from the breakfast bar--

Maverick: (hand clap) Yes, that’s right. Shit. Okay, anyway I was being a little shit show off cause I was the baby and needed attention and invented this creamsicle drink that everyone loved. It was orange juice, lots of whipped cream vodka and half and half ?It like, it didn’t taste like alcohol and you grown ass bitches got drunk of your mother (clap) fucking (clap) asses (clap)--

Angel: I…okay, the vodka--▬▬ vodka tastes like sugar—

Maverick: Yeah, I’m going to bleep that brand name. Bleep the name ▬▬ Mistress Roxie, we are not giving ▬▬ vodka free promo on this fucking podcast—

Angel: (laugh) You’ve gone full diva—

Maverick: I have to pay all these bills, honey--

(Editor's Note: I pay them too, Mav!)

(laughter)

Angel:  Okay, well that brand of vodka tasted like sugar and I never drank, I still don’t but you made me—

Maverick: I didn’t—you were like—

Angel: I—

Maverick: Anyway, we were like just high off the night, having a good time, you were buzzed and you started  humping—

Angel: I was not--we were dancing to that song  and then I guess we hooked up...a little--

Maverick: No, babe we fucked fucked. You like wanted to show me something in your closet in your hotel room and then you asked if I had a crush on you which I did and then asked if you could top me--

Angel: I have totally blocked this out. I cannot believe we are talking about this

Maverick: No, no, no it was good. It really good but you got total liquor dick  and didn’t come which whatever and I fucked you and then you passed out so I had to babysit your ass. Which is crazy because you were always like waaaay more responsible--”

Angel: I get horny when I drink and hmm—this was the year before I officially got with Lu—my partner so I was in a dry spell….You had this like…long bang situation and the black makeup…you were like a little sexy Panic At The Disco—”

Maverick: (Maveick does his about-to-make-a-corny-joke giggle ) No, wait, wait, wait I’m totally PAN-ic at the Disco. Because I’m pansexual—which (deadpan) does not mean I want to fuck your Calphalon.

Angel: What ?

Maverick: That’s my joke...You really do not  listen to this podcast do you ?

Angel: I'm still not completely sure what a podcast is--Oh! I actually have some pictures of you from back then in this album I made--

Maverick: I can already here my loves demanding those. I’ll put them exclusively on the Love Club back channel. I went through an emo phase, ya’ll. So, do you think we’re bad stereotypes that all sex workers fuck each other or all same sex attracted people are slutty—

Angel: I think If everyone is having fun I don't see it as bad...but you’re the only person I remember ever doing that with--

Maverick: I’ve definitely seen you eat pussy--

Angel:  I did a lot of oral sex on camera. But I didn’t …like fuck a lot of people. I couldn't have a slutty phase because for me, well, and for you too I guess since—um, do you talk about…

(microphone being covered. Muted conversation.) (pause)

Maverick: Oh, yeah, yeah.  I’m public about being HIV positive to my audience. We celebrate and validate that here.

Angel: Right, so… I’m also…positive and it’s not always an option for us to fuck around. Oh! We should say we used protection that time we...anyway I’m older than you and…. HIV wasn’t a thing I celebrated and…it’s still hard. Because it’s like I have a partner and the condom thing is still a sticking point.

Maverick: Yeah, I get that. Like, people in your beau’s age range are more afraid because HIV used to be death sentence in his day--

Angel: He is not that old. And well… it’s not him. It’s me. I’m afraid--

Maverick: Oh, okay. I mean me and my regular partners  don’t use condoms—

Angel: You don’t ?

Maverick:  Well, my cell count is undetectable and like Rox  takes PReP so--

Angel: And you know she takes it everyday ?

Maverick: I mean…she’s an adult so I assume yes. She knows she’s the one at risk is how I see it. It’s not on me--

Angel: Maybe it’s because I work in the healthcare industry. I’m always seeing that like .001% chance of everything and it's terrifying—

Maverick: We had an HIV researcher on an episode. Super eye-opening. You should listen to it—

Angel: What did the doctor think of you having unprotected sex ?

Maverick: PrEp isn't unprotected. It’s complicated and individual…you look like you want to lecture me.

Angel: I’m not, it’s just....Can we do another one of your cute segues ?

Maverick: Sure! Can we talk about your baby a little ?

Angel: Not a baby anymore  but sure.

Maverick:  And again, this is a thing people are always curious about.  Does baby know what you used to do ?

Angel: Oh. (short laugh) not really. They think I was a model when I was younger—

Maverick: Awwww—

Angel: I mean they've come across some compromising but, I mean also still tasteful photos  so…that’s what we told them. (laughter) I mean it's mostly the truth (pause) is someone coming in here ?

Maverick: Oh, that’s Violet. Come here, girl.

(off mic sounds)

Maverick: If this is your first pod, Violet is Mistress Roxie and I’s house sub. You can see her in some of my Dom sessions and on CutieHouse.com. Her Instagram is @turningviolet, she’s always posting pictures in the outfits we put her in. Say hi to the pod.

Violet: Hi

(ice hitting glass)

Angel: What are those—

Maverick: I had her make some vodka creamscicles for us to toast—

Angel: I can’t drink! I have to drive myself back to the city, I barely got out here sober—

Maverick: Chill out, babe. You can have one sip (ice clinking in glass)

Angel: (ice clinking in glass)…What are we toasting to ?

Maverick: To us ? To Valentine’s Day. To love.

(Glass clink) (sipping, drinking noise)

Angel: Mmmm. This is good--Okay, get this away from me now.

(glass hitting table)

Maverick: Alright Loves, we’re going to take a quick ad break and then Angel and I are going to lighten this up  and talk hits and misses of Ms. Britney’s Femme Fatale album and see what other naughty stories we can tell.

 

***

 -2-

Out of the corner of his eye Haley catches a glimpse of scissors. “Grayson, please put those down.”

“I was just joking, Daddy,” Grayson grins, putting the scissors on the makeshift vanity Haley created for himself out of his old desk, string lights, a large thrifted mirror and two good coats of white paint

Haley looks back down to finish applying clear polish to his bare nails when he hears a snip right next to  his ear.

“GRAYSON!” He jumps out of his chair, clutching his hair and turns to see Grayson giggling. “What did I  just say ?”

“I didn’t actually do it, Daddy, it was a joke—"

“It’s not a joke. You don’t put scissors near my face. Put those down and get out of my room—"

“But you said I could help you get ready for your date—"

“You aren’t helping me—"

“Cause you didn’t let me do anything."

“Fine. You can pick my cologne,” he says, giving him the tray of cologne bottles and perfume samples. “Just smell the bottles. Look at me, Grayson. Do.not.spray.it.”

Haley sits back at the vanity and brushes his hair into a knot at the back of his head, leaving two causal  stray strands in front  and holding it down with hair spray. He stands,  smoothing out his pink button up before rolling up the sleeves to the elbow and securing them with the silver heart cufflinks he'd found at the flea market.

“Daddy,  I want you to wear your hair down—”

“I can’t. It’s not sanitary--”

“Says who ? Can I open one of these ? I just want to see what’s inside,” Grayson asks, having abandoned the cologne tray for the  pile of Valentine’s Day gifts on the bed.

“No, you may not,” Haley tells him. “Those are not yours to open.”

Worst of all, they weren’t his to open either.

Haley was a little surprised to come home from Maverick's podcast to find Luce taking a nap next to a pile of  bakery boxes, candy, cards, and carnations.

Grayson had informed him they were all Valentine’s Day gifts to Luce from his students. Some of whom must have come by his class on their day off. It wasn’t totally unexpected. On Rate A Professor,  Luce had achieved the highest hot tamale rating at the community college despite teaching only two sections.  Haley’s current favorite review read:

I failed Mr. Grace’s calculus for non-majors class. To be fair, I  had no idea what he was talking about most of them time and only stayed because I liked the way he looked saying it. 5 stars. Would recommend.

Haley stares dimly at Grayson now as he ignores the response Haley gave him to his question about opening the gifts. He pulls the twine off a pink bakery box to reveal six mini cupcakes decorated with fondant hearts.

Luce rolls out of their attached bathroom, his pants and shirt buttons undone and shaving cream covering his face.

“I’m fucking over this shit...Can't get this razor.”

“You didn’t have to shave,” Haley sighs, following Luce into the bathroom.

He finishes getting him dressed and cradles Luce’s chin in his palm as he shaves his stubble.There was something soothing in creating clean lines in the shaving cream

“How was the Maverick thing ?,” Luce asks.

“Interesting. Maverick has this whole mini studio in his basement. He does everything himself. I think the people in that little town he lives in would riot if they knew what he and his roommates were up to in that house...but it was fun...felt like the old days a little bit.”

“Shit like that is why we can't get any interest in Fallwater. Everyone is making their own shit for cheaper. Did you fuck around ?”

“No. He asked if I'd suck his dick on camera but I needed to get back.”

“Would you have ?”

“I don’t know...He’s kind of hot now.  He’s a member of a private club...They’re having a Valentine’s Night  event tonight. He said we could stop by. It’s near--”

“I thought we weren't doing that right now--”

“Well, yeah but--”

“If it’s in the city I doubt it’s even accessible. None of the clubs are...not that I feel like going to a fucking club.”

“Okay,” Haley sighs.

“You can go. You should go. Take a cab--”

“Maybe,” he shrugs

Haley takes advantage of having Luce's face literally in the palm of his hands and also cleans up his eyebrows with his safety razor and pats brightening serum under his eye. He dabs concealer on the red spot on Luce's jaw where the doctor put a botox shot so he wouldn't drool. They went every eight weeks for the injection and Haley always joked with the doctor she could put any leftover she had into him too.

When they step out the bathroom together,  Grayson is sitting in the makeshift vanity’s chair,  playing Angry Birds on Haley’s phone as he spritzes the air with Chanel. Judging by how the room smelled that wasn't the first cologne he'd decided to spray.

“I think you should wear this one, Daddy--”

Haley charges across the room and snatches the cologne from him. “DIDN'T I TELL YOU NOT TO SPRAY THIS ? Do you have any idea how much this cost ?”

He moves to take his phone from Grayson but he won't give it it up.“ Give me my phone and--”

“Why ?,” Grayson laughs, tightening his grip.

“Because you never listen. I told you not to play with the scissors, I told you not to touch Luce's gifts and I told you not to spray--”

“I don't remember you said that--”

“Yes you do. You better cut this crap out and behave for Ms. Sara tonigh--”

“Wait. Better idea. How come I can’t just go with you ?,” Grayson whines, picking up another cologne bottle. “I never get to  go anywhere--”

“Not tonight. Where we're going is not for children—"

“I don't believe you.”

“Grayson ?” Luce’s voice cuts across the room. “You’re not listening to your father and talking back. He asked you to leave. Get the hell out and sit in the living room. Now”

Grayson makes a defeated sound but leaves the room. Haley slams the bedroom door closed after him. Not ten seconds later he hears the sound of a video game being started in the living room.

“Luce, you can’t say hell to him--”

“I didn’t say hell--”

“Yes, you did. He just never stops--”

“You need to just let Alan write the Adderall prescription—”

“No. I have to do this the right way,” Haley says pointedly. He dots his wrists and neck with the Chanel cologne. “I need the diagnosis documented  by a pediatrician first. I’ll call the office again to see if we can get an earlier appointment. I swear it’s getting worse.”

“It’s probably the sugar he had at school today… Let’s just go get this Valentine's shit over with.”

“So romantic.”

 

---

-3-

He is talking to her about the annoying charting software errors when he glimpses Luce picking up a knife out the corner of his eye.

“I’ll do that,” Haley says. He quickly takes the knife and starts slicing the potato. Luce had regained some strength in his hands but not enough for a knife that sharp. They'd had a medical scare at least once a month and Haley was sick of ER visits. “You can massage the oil on the vegetables.”

“Don’t slice the potatoes like that. You need to chop it into cubes,” Luce tells him.

Haley shrugs and continues slicing.“I don’t think it matters. They’re just going to be boiled and mashed.”

“It matters—”

“—How do you know ? You don’t cook—"

“Because I was actually listening while the instructor was talking instead of chatting—"

“God, I forgot you were like this.”

The class had been advertised as romantic and fun but Haley was just know remembering that Luce didn't understand learning for fun. To him, the point of a class was to follow all instructions exactly as presented and work until you got it right.

He  steals glances at the other couples in the class.  A young couple was laughing and taking pictures of everything, an older couple was being too adorable for words, kissing and encouraging each other. The couple in the front of the class were working in perfect tandem and—

“Shit,” Haley curses under his breath.

“What did you do ?”

“The couple in the front,” he whispers. “That’s Lindsey Gregory’s parents. Her mom is the most popular 2^nd grade room mom. She had full sized candy bars at her trunk or treat. I told you about her and that stupid Finding Nemo theme.”

Haley hated that he said things like this now but enmeshing himself in  the elementary school social PTA mom hierarchy was for his son’s own good.

“Alex, you have to measure the seasoning before you—"

“She’s like best friends with all the teachers and stay-at-home moms and such a gossip. If she comes over here she’s going to tell everyone she met you.  Don’t give her anything.”

“Gladly.”

 

***

Much to Luce’s chagrin Haley continues to ignore most of the class instructions, but by the end of the night they still manage to have  two restaurant-worthy plates of lamp chops, whipped potatoes and charred greens.

 The class takes their plates up to the building’s rooftop where bistro tables had been set up under string lights and a live jazz band played in the corner.

Haley manages to evade Lindsey Gregory’s mom on the elevator ride up and picks a table farthest away from the Gregorys.

Now that Grayson understood he and Luce's relationship he had started to occasionally refer to his daddy’s boyfriend in class; His daddy’s boyfriend had every math problem memorized. He missed school because his daddy’s boyfriend was sick. His daddy's boyfriend was in a wheelchair like the character in the book. His daddy’s boyfriend wore a blue shirt today.

The class moms had started dropping hints they wanted to know more about him but Haley wanted to protect Luce from being their spectacle. Luce liked his privacy and Haley never posted about him on his well-curated Facebook page.

“I’m…Not that hungry,” Luce says, setting down the adaptive fork tucked around his palm.  

“You had no trouble drinking three glasses of champagne,” Haley reminds him. “You need to try solid foods too. You promised—"

“I said I’d try and I  did,” he says, inclining to the half eaten greens.

Haley hated how perfectly content Luce was with getting most of his meals from a feeding tube. He’d started using weight lifting machines at the rehab facility and mixed with a diet of protein supplements he’d easily put some muscle back on his upper body.

“Fine,” Haley says. “I’ll just eat both plates—”

“Don’t. You know how you get.”

Which was the way they talked about his eating disorder when he didn’t have it under control. But he'd been keeping it under control for years now.

“Okay,” Haley agrees. “Well, let’s just split one plate and see if we can take the other one home--”

“Why don’t we take them both home ?”

“Are you really ready to go back home already ?”

“Yes. Aren’t you ? This is fucking bullshit.”

Haley sighs. Nothing about being here felt romantic and truthfully, he was bored out of his mind and the food was bland.

“Okay. Let’s go.”

Haley asks the instructor for some foil and after wrapping up their meals he leads Luce on a  circuitous route around the rooftop. His manners won’t let him not  say goodbye to the lesbian couple. After they exchange Facebook friend requests he turns to see Lindsey Gregory’s parents.

“Haley!,” Mrs. Gregory beams when he turns and catches her eyes. She opens her arm. “I thought that was you!”

“Hi!” Haley smiles, enthusiastically walking into her hug. “Oh my god, I didn’t see you! I love your dress--”

And despite himself he did. It was a low cut, form fitting pink chevron pattered dress that made her body look amazing.

“Oh, this old thing.” she smiles.  “This is my husband Ben. Ben, honey, this is Grayson Haley’s dad. He’s Merryhill's only PTA dad.”

Mr. Gregory extends his hand and Haley shakes it.

“Better man than most men,” Mr. Gregory says and it makes Haley cringe. The word man always did.

A silence follows and Haley know what they are waiting for. “Um, this is my partner, Luce.”

“I don’t…,” Luce starts and trails off when Mr. Gregory extends his hand. 

Mr. Gregory frowns with his hand still out and smile full wattage. “I'm sorry, bud, I didn't quite catch that.”

“I don’t shake hands.”

“He doesn’t shake hands,” Haley fills in when it was clear Mr. Gregory still hadn't understood him.

“Well, you two make a cute couple,” Mrs. Gregory grins after a beat. “So nice to meet you, Luce! We’ve all been curious. What an interesting name--”

“His Dad's favorite book was Catcher in The Rye so he's named after a character from it,” Haley explains.

“How interesting, I was an English major so I love that one. Isn’t this class just fun ? Ben and I do it every year to spice things up--” 

Haley nods in false agreement.

“Oh, you know Ben is coaching county basketball this spring with Daphne's husband. Are you signing up Grayson ?”

“I don’t know. He hasn’t mentioned wanting to do sports—"

“Let me know. I’m getting a car pool e-mail list together. You're a little off the route but I'm sure we can work it out.  I think Grayson would be great at it. He has so much energy in class. Did you …oh...oh!—"

Mrs. Gregory steps back swiftly with a spooked expression on her face. Her husband frowns and pulls his wife protectively to his side.

Haley looks to see Luce staring unblinkingly at Mrs. Gregory’s chest while urine ran down his pant legs and dripped on to the rooftop's floor.

“I’m sorry,” Haley says. His voice is hollow. “He’s having a seizure.”

He puts the brakes on the wheelchair and connects the strap around Luce’s waist to keep him upright  as the convulsions begin. He pulls a small cushion out of the bag on the back of the wheelchair and places it behind Luce’s head.

“Oh—oh! Oh my god! Should I call 911 ?,” Mrs. Gregory snaps into action, fishing through her bag for her phone.

“Not yet, please don’t--,” Haley says, supporting Luce’s head with one hand and starting a stopwatch on his phone.

“Do we need to put a spoon in his mouth?,” the class instructor panics as the attention of the other diners turns to them.

The convulsions looked violent and scarier than they were.  He keeps his eye on Luce and tries to block out how the rest of the class is freaking out. 

Two of the class participants shout out that they are doctors and rush over from their tables at the commotion.

“Is he epileptic ?,” one asks.

“How long has this been happening ?,” the other one asks.

“He has a traumatic brain injury and the seizures started last year, ” Haley says. “I’m a nurse. It’s okay.”

The convulsions stop almost as quickly as they’d started and Luce’s eyes water as he starts choking.

“Did he swallow his tongue ? I think that happens, someone should check!” Mrs. Gregory shrieks.

One of the doctors puts a light down his throat and Haley takes a glove out of the wheelchair bag and puts it on before sticking two fingers down Luce’s s throat and massages his neck until he vomits the vegetables he’d eaten down his dress shirt.

“Are you okay, baby ?,” Haley asks softly. “Luce ?”

Luce’s eyes wander to the growing crowd and Haley watches his facial expression go from confused to mortified. Haley wishes he could make the people go away for him.

“Just look at me,” Haley says, standing in front of the chair. “You had a seizure. Are you okay ?”

“I’m…I’m sorry. Fuck.”

“It’s okay,” Haley says. “I bet you’re tired. Let’s go home.”

 

***

-4-

Later that night Haley stifles his moans with a pillow as he brings himself to his second orgasm of the night. He lies in bed, catching his breath for a  few moments before getting up.

He pads to the other side of the bed and opens the locked mini fridge where they kept Luce’s medicine and takes out one of the mini bottle of white wine he’d stashed in the back. He then opens the top drawer of the dresser, switches out the prostate massager for a vibrating dildo and lube and gets back into bed, giddily opening  his phone.

“Do you have to bring that thing to bed ?,” Luce grumbles, making Haley jump.

Luce had  been in a deep sleep since they came back from the disaster cooking class. Haley had cleaned him up and put him to bed hours ago. The seizures always left him exhausted. Haley had almost forgotten he was even in bed next to him.

“Where else in this condo do you suggest I use a dildo—”

“I meant the phone, smartass. You always have that fucking thing—”

“I’m reading,” Haley says, turning the phone back on. He shows him the text on the screen. “You should get one of these, they’re so fun—”

“Don't trust it,” Luce mumbles.

Haley sets the phone down and lies down so they are nose to nose. “Do you feel okay ? That was a bad one.”

“I’m tired…I embarrassed you in front of that woman. She’ll tell people you’re boyfriend is retarded—”

“Luce. No, she won’t.  You can't use that word—”

“That’s what she'll say…you wouldn’t believe the shit I hear when people don’t think I understand.”

“She’s pretty, rich and popular but she’s not like that. And if she is like that I'll pull her hair extensions out.”

“Did you go to Maverick’s thing ?”

“No. I didn’t feel up to it.”

Luce sighs deeply. “…Can you get me a glass of water ?”

“No,” Haley says. He sits up in bed and unscrews the lid on the wine. “Grayson’s playing Wii in the living room—"

“It’s 3 a.m."

“He think he’s being sneaky,” Haley says. “And if he thinks I think he’s asleep he won’t come in here and bother me while I’m trying to finish my book...and myself”

“That 50 Shades of Gray thing ?”

“That was last night, now I’m on book three. It’s about this 27-year-old billionaire Dom who takes on this virgin college student as his submissive.”

Luce grimaces. “27 ?”

“Baby Doms are cute…in a way.”

“I thought those books sucked.”

“I don’t know…it’s a hot fantasy,” Haley shrugs. “He makes her sign a contract telling her how to dress, eat, sleep and all the things he’s going to do to her--”

“Contracts are a hot fantasy to you now ?”

“Well, and he pilots a helicopter to his penthouse apartment where he has a private playroom where he's like this controlling, cold asshole Dom. He only wants her for sex but they fall in love which…not sure where I am on that--”

 “Does falling in love ruin the fantasy for you  ?,” Luce asks.

 “Don’t do that to me, Luce Grace,” Haley whispers. “I’m not talking about us. I’m talking about a horny sex book.”

“You still  didn’t answer.”

“I'm living pretty close to the life I always talked about, right ?,” he responds more bitterly than he intended. He softens. “I chose to stay with you. I chose to have Grayson. I chose to attend more PTA meetings than night clubs. I love my job and taking care of my boys. It’s not fun or sexy but I’d choose it every time.”

“No regrets ?”

“No regrets.”

 

----

A/N

SHV: Okay, um, how are we going to end this chapter ?

CP!Shawna: Idk, let’s blatantly steal more from Lile

SHV:👍👍👍

Did I checkout a digital copy of 50 Shades of Gray and skim it to I could write some plot points for Haley ? Yes. Did I use any of it ? No.

So, IRL 2009!SHV got the name Luce from Catcher In The Rye because I just liked it but it turns out that character is suspected of being gay ?