“Welcome to fucking middle age!”

“Minnow! You didn’t have to come out here!” Haley says, standing to hug her.

She waves him off and sets her coral Birkin bag on the picnic table. “Are you kidding ? I love being outdoors I could always eat a…what are these ? Grilled hot dogs.”

Her white sundress and espadrilles were an inevitable recipe for disaster in the public park but Alan Gray dutifully removes his checkered button up and lays it down on the picnic table seat for her before she sat.

“Happy birthday,” Alan adds before walking a few feet over to where Sara and Jean were trying to figure out the park’s grill.

“Minnow, you remember by my godson, Sky.”

“I do,” Minnow grins at the young man sitting across from her. “You’ve over 21 now, right? We can have fun.”

Sky nods nervously. Minnow brandishes an unopened bottle of tequila from the Birkin and dances it across the table.

“Sky’s graduating with honors from UCLA in spring,” Haley tells her. “He already got into two law schools--”

“I went UCLA!” Minnow exclaims and then adds quickly, “I mean I failed every class  and dropped out my first semester but the parties? Shit, I think I left a pair of panties in every frat house…and two sorority houses.”

“Um.” is all Sky can say in response to her wink.

Haley hadn’t wanted much attention on his birthday. He just wanted lunch in the park with Luce, Sara and Grayson. But Sky had insisted on driving over from California for the weekend and Twyla and Colette were in town for a funeral.

He was sure The Washington family would have been there too but they were on their semiannual two month trip to Japan to visit Rias's family.

After  a lunch of  burnt hot dogs, Jean instigates a friendly game of poker that devolves into a pair of drunk Dorys and Luce instructing Sky on the best way to cheat at the baccarat tables.

They hear Colette’s  Ducati before they see it. The roaring vintage motorcycle swings into a space near the pavilion followed by a silver rental car that Twyla pops out of. The passenger door opens and a young girl in a jean dress and brown flats steps out.

“Happy Birthday! Sorry we're late.” Twyla greets Haley.

“You're fine. And is this Holland ?,” Haley greets the girl in the jean dress.

Colette taps the girl’s back, prompting her to speak.

“Yeah,” Holland says, looking around the park suspiciously and back at Haley. “Is it your birthday ?”

“Yep,” Haley smiles.

“How old are you--”

“Holland,” Colette chastises her. “We don’t ask adults tha--”

“It’s okay,” Haley says and tries not to cringe at his next sentence. “I’m…40.”

“My mom was 40,” Holland says. “She died.”

“Colette told me. I’m so sorry to hear that.”

“Yeah.”

“Do you like cake, Holland ?,” Haley asks.

She nods.

“Great. Follow me.”

He walks her over to the half eaten buttercream covered grocery store cake. He loved grocery store cake—it reminded him of the few good things from his childhood. Colette follows cautiously  behind them.

“Vanilla or chocolate ?,” Haley asks Holland.

“Vanilla,” she says. She folds her arms defensively and stares at Haley as he cuts it for her. “You don’t really really look 40. You look 19.”

“Well, for that you can have the entire rest of the cake,” he grins and then scans the park until he spots Grayson a  few feet from the pavilion, crouched by a tree. “GRAYSON!”

“WHAT ?”

“Come over here—”

“But I found a grasshopper, Daddy!,” Grayson calls back.

“Grayson—”

“But—”

“Now.”

“Why—”

“Now.”

Grayson rolls his eyes and runs over, eyeing Holland suspiciously as he circles his arms around Haley’s waist for a hug.

“Grayson, this is Holland. Can she play with you ?”

Holland looks up at Colette with a scandalized frown. “I don’t want to play with grasshoppers. I’m not a baby—"

“Hey, I’m not a baby,” Grayson interjects. “ I’m almost 9.”

Holland ignores him and looks up at Colette again. She widens her brown eyes in annoyance and lowers her voice. “I’m 10, Colette. I don’t play.”

“Do you like video games ?,” Haley asks. She turns swiftly to him and nods.

Haley takes his car keys out of his pocket and gives it to Grayson. “Go get your video game out of the trunk.”

“But you said no screens while we were at the park—”

“It’s not for you. It’s for Holland.”

“Why ? Who is she here with anyway ?”

“Grayson,” Haley says kneeling to his level and kissing his nose. “Be nice, okay ?”

“Thanks for letting her come,” Colette says once the kids are at a separate table  and Grayson is showing Colette how to play the handheld video game.

“Of course,” he says. “I was hoping they’d get along better. Grayson doesn’t have any friends that live in the city.”

The funeral Twyla and Colette had attended three days ago was for Holland’s mother—Colette’s second cousin. She’d been pushed down the stairs by her abusive her ex-boyfriend and died in the hospital two weeks later. It had created a schism in Colette's sprawling family between those that defended the ex and those that didn't.

Colette and Twyla volunteered to give Holland a break from the in-fighting and entertain her while the other cousins set up her new room in the apartment of an older great-aunt.

---

An hour later Haley is cleaning up abandoned plates and watching  the two kids squealing and laughing as they challenged each other on the swing set to see who could jump off the farthest. Sky was acting as their referee.

“You’re not supposed to be doing that,” Luce says, coming up behind him.

“I know,” he says tossing more trash in a garbage. “I can’t help it. Are you doing okay ?”

“I’m fine. Did you have a nice time ?”

He nods.                 

“Ready for your present ?”

“Present ?”

He couldn’t remember the last time he got a gift that wasn’t a crappy craft project from Grayson’s school.

“Sky’s going to take Grayson to a movie tonight,” Luce says. His voice lowers as he rolls closer. “And I’m taking you to a  party Maverick is hosting.”

Haley almost can’t believe the words coming out of his mouth. His own voice lowers.

“Are you serious ?”

Luce nods.

“Are you sure you can handle a party—"

“I’ll worry about me.”

Haley’s face breaks into a grin. “Luce! You should have told me earlier. What time is it ? I have to get my going out clothes out of the basement--”

“No, you don’t,” Luce tells him. “I decide what you wear tonight.”

 

***

-2-

Haley didn’t feel particularly sexy in the white v-neck t-shirt and light wash skinny jeans Luce picked out for him but he doesn't let it get him down.

He’d been somewhat surprised when Luce pulled out Haley’s not-so-secret nail polish collection and ordered him to paint every nail with a shimmery gray shade. He'd never worn nail polish before, he just liked to collect them in the back of his vanity for an unknown future date.

“Who owns house is this ?,” Haley asks.

They stood outside of a Spanish-style McMansion at the end of a private cul-de-sac in the Las Vegas suburbs.  The driveway and street were over run with cars--everything from economy rentals to a red Bugatti that a pair of latex clad women were taking a selfie in front of.

“I don't know. Maverick rented it for the week. Ready to go in ?”

“D-do the people in their know it’s my birthday ?”

“No.”

“There are stairs--”

“We’re going around the back.”

Luce  leads them into  the backyard, effortlessly moving his chair along the curved gravel path. When they get to a fence he types  a code on the pad and the gate swings open for them.

“…Have you been here before?”

“I...asked Maverick to bring me by earlier this week so I could practice getting in.”

The  Mediterranean style pool in the backyard is lit  by shimmering  LED lights and surrounded by elaborate landscaped stone work. There isn’t anyone in the peaceful backyard except a straight couple making out under a palm tree.

A makeshift ramp was set up by the backdoor and he follows Luce into an expansive basement, crowded with people  socializing around all the trappings of a professional BDSM dungeon.

Haley recognizes Maverick’s submissive Violet arranging plates of  hors d'oeuvres on a table. She was in her late twenties and Haley was incredibly jealous of her perfectly blended pink and purple ombre feathered bob.

He can’t help but to notice most of the party crowd is young. He remembered there were always old-timers at these type of events and lamented that he must be in that category now.

A heavy arm rest on his shoulder and he looks up to see Maverick, dressed in fitted leather pants and a half buttoned white Oxford that strained against his ample chest. His dark hair was perfectly styled, his strong jawline accented by a subtle brush of bronzer.  He had a black piercing in each ear and sharp defined  lines of kohl under his top lid.

“There’s the birthday boy,” Maverick grins down at  him. “Are you ready for Master to tie you up into a beautiful present ?”

Haley rolls his eyes. “You are not—”

“Yes. He is,” Luce tells him. “And I’m going to watch.”

Roxie Monroe, Maverick’s domme roommate and podcast editor, comes up behind Luce. Haley had met her briefly on his way out of their house after recording the podcast last year. She’d been friendly enough but tonight she was in full domme mode. She wore a sexy black peplum romper with a diamond cut out at the midriff. Her ice blonde hip length extensions were twirled into perfect princess curls and she towered over them in 7 inch platform heels.

“I’ve got a seat reserved just for you,” Roxie says to Luce, brushing his chest playfully with the tails of her flogger. “Come with me, pet.”

Without asking, she pushes Luce’s chair through the party. The crowd parts for her and Haley watches her set him up on a couch next to Minnow Dory—still in  her white dress and espadrilles from that afternoon. Minnow was was confidently drinking white wine and moving to the music despite being old enough to be the mother of half the people in the room.

If Minnow was here it meant Alan Gray wasn’t far off. Haley could breathe knowing someone could help Luce if he had an emergency.

Maverick takes Haley’s chin and tips it up. Maverick’s mouth was set in a firm line. He’d mastered the confident, controlled gaze. Haley had browsed Maverick’s website and even contemplated brief fantasies about being dominated by him but now that it was happening—

“This is weird, isn’t it ?”

“No it’s not ‘weird’.” Maverick says sharply. His tone tells Haley he wouldn’t tolerate being questioned. “I have subs 40 years older than me so I think I can handle you. Now, red, yellow, green. Let me hear you say it.”

“Red, yellow, green—”

“Good.” Maverick slips his hand into his pocket and pulls out a mini roll of  silver star stickers. He presses one to Haley’s brow. “This event is promo for Mistress Roxie and I. The sticker tells the photographer not to take your picture so don't take it off.”

“That’s…thoughtful.”

“We’re all about consent around here.”

Maverick guides Haley with a hand to the back of his neck towards a long cloth covered table. Atop the table, a naked older woman was lying on her side, bound up in a complex shibari rope pattern. Beside the table another woman in her underwear was tied into an arabesque on an areal rig hooked to the wall. Her body shook from the effort to remain in position and Maverick leans a comforting hand on her trembling thigh.

“Take your clothes off but keep your underwear on,” Maverick says to him and taps the table. “Sit pretty for me.”

While Haley didn’t like the outfit Luce picked out for him he did feel sexy in the white lace boy short underwear. He undresses  and kneels on the table with his head bowed. He looks through his lashes to see Luce sitting comfortably on the couch watching him intently with an arm draped around Minnow's waist.

It’s the last thing he sees before Maverick covers his eyes with a soft blindfold. Maverick binds his wrist in a double column tie with a soft rope and then continues to bind his ankles. The sensation of the rope tightening activates every pleasure censor in his body.

With his eyes covered his only focus is on Maverick’s whispered encouragements and praise. When the tying stops he feels Maverick’s lips press on his. And then nothing. 

Haley stays on the table in position, reacclimating his body to the feeling of being bound and restrained. It feels like a meditation to just be.

 To just obey. 

 To surrender. Haley had always been more interested in submission and pain but Luce had  been obsessed with bondage and it had been a part of their relationship from the start. When Luce had tied Haley up  it had always been intensely heated and usually ended with sex.

But being bound this way was a different kind of pleasure.

He forgets the crowd and the party and just how old he felt. All he had to do was live in the moment, stay still,listen to the music and wait for whatever Luce decided was next for him. The thought was pleasantly arousing.

He'd missed this.

The ropes at his back go slack and he is pulled back into reality. The blindfold is the last to come off and when he looks up he sees Maverick assessing him.

“….How long was I ?”

“Just under an hour,” Maverick says, helping him off the table.

His legs buckle when he stands but but he catches himself on the table. A sudden grief pounds at his chest and tears prick his eyes.

Maverick wraps Haley up into a hug and Haley steps away. Luce had arranged this for him. He’d given Haley something from their past even if it meant letting another man do it.

Haley’s eyes dart over to where Luce had been on the couch but all he sees is Alan Gray having a one sided conversation with a girl who looks liked she was regretting starting a conversation with Alan Gray.

“Where did Luce go ?,” Haley frowns and a tear falls  from his eye. He felt like an exposed wire.

Maverick looks back at the empty spot on  couch where Luce had been.“I didn’t see. Stay with me, love…I think you’re experiencing subdrop—”

“This is a basement, right ?,” Haley asks. The loss sensation he’d been feeling gets over run by anxiety. “He couldn’t have gotten far. I-I-I need to find him.”

“I'm sure he's fine. The only way out of here is the stairs Are you sure you're okay ?”

Haley nods quickly. “I'm okay. Thank you for that. ”

“Anytime.” Maverick grins before going to untie someone else, a cameraman following him.

Haley dresses and walks towards Alan, catching the tail end of him talking to the girl about a recent medical study on morbidity rates in the American South.

“Alan, did you see where Luce went ?”

“Upstairs with Minnow and that Elsa-looking girl—"

“Upstairs ? Did something happen—"

 “I don’t think so?”

There was a  chain across the stairs that lead out of the basement. Haley ducks under it and goes up to the main floor. In the  foyer  there is a welcome table with waivers, stickers and promo for Maverick, Violet and Roxie’s website. The entire floor was littered with party supplies, food and liquor boxes but no people.

He walks up another set of stairs to the second floor. It feels invasive and he can’t imagine Luce willingly getting up two sets of stairs

but then he hears Minnow’s low moan from a room at the end of the hall. He peeks inside the room to see Luce’s empty wheelchair by the door.

Inside the room he finds Luce lying on his back in an unmade  bed. Minnow is sitting on his face with the white sundress gathered in her arms while a naked Roxie straddles Luce’s waist, humping his boxer-covered erection cowgirl style. The two women face each other, moaning into each other’s mouths.

He couldn’t see Luce’s face because Minnow was currently sitting on it but he was sure Luce was enjoying it. He'd clocked Roxie's cool dominance as his type the moment he met her.

Haley steps into the room and Minnow climbs off Luce’s face. She pushes the younger woman into the bed, scissoring their legs and grinding into her.

“Hi,” Haley says kneeling on the edge of the bed next to Luce’s face.

“Hi,” Luce pants, pulling Haley down  by his high ponytail to kiss him. “You looked so good… all tied up. Are you hard for me ?”

The desire in Luce’s voice renders him temporarily speechless and Haley can only nod. He hadn’t been hard when he came in but he was starting to get there now.

“You can do better than that,” Luce chastises him, reaching between Haley’s legs and stroking him until he was at full attention.

A whimper leaves his throat when Luce pulls his hand away. Luce slaps Minnow’s ass to get her attention.

“Get on top of her,” Luce orders Minnow.

“Her ? I have a name, Pet,” Roxie snaps at Luce, “You better fucking use it.”

Minnow raises an eyebrow and also snaps at him. “And you better think twice before you tell me what to do, Luce Grace. You’re not running this show--”

Luce sits up on his elbows.

“Are you done, Minnow ?,” he snaps. “You can say whatever makes you feel in control but you two didn’t haul my  ass up two flights of stairs to—"

“Don’t flatter yourself,” Minnow bites. “I’ve done far more for far less than you and that's saying something—”

“Seriously ? Shut up, both off you!” Roxie says, exasperated. “Oh my god. Do you two ever stop bickering ? Come on,  I want to see if you live up to all her hype, big boy.”

She runs her fingers up  Luce’s crotch and his body jolts at the touch.

Roxie reaches for a Victoria Secret toiletry bag on the nightstand and takes out a bottle of Bang Sesh branded lube while Minnow throws her gray streaked wavy bob hair into a short ponytail. She lies on top of Roxie, pressing their bodies together, she runs her hand through Roxie's hair and kisses her mouth delicately.

Haley puts his hands in Luce’s, massaging his palm. “What do you want me to do ?”

“Take the cock ring out of my pants pocket and put it on me.”

Haley finds Luce’s abandoned black suit pants on a chair and fishes out the silicone ring inside, he pulls Luce’s underwear down and happily slips the band on his strained erection.

“Now what do you want me to do?,” Haley asks, his mind reeling with all the things he wanted to do.

“Watch.”

It wasn’t the order he wanted at the moment but he obeys.

Luce drags himself up the bed and towards where the women were laying on top of each other. He balances on his knees to take the women from behind, his upper body half draped on top of them to keep upright.  He pushes himself into Minnow first and  thrusts slowly, twisting his lower body to find a comfortable angle.

“Hmm...I may have overhyped him, honey,” Minnow says to Roxie after a beat. “It’s actually been a while… He might not still be  worth all our work—"

“Shut the fuck up Minnow--,” Luce growls.

“I’m fucking bored,” Minnow throws back. “I liked you better when you were  being my seat—”

“Do I need to put you two in time out or something ?,” Roxie interjects. “You're like an old married coup--”

She is cut off my Minnow's sudden cry. “Oh, shit!”

Luce's pace suddenly increases and Minnow's back arches backwards to meet his strokes. She lets out a soft whimper when he pulls completely out and slides slowly into Roxie, who squirms from her spot beneath Minnow.

“Holy fuck, slow down!” Roxie hisses rolling her hips down. Her tone is breathy and shocked. “Oh. Fuck...fuck, you really are big—”

“I can stop—,” Luce starts, slowly pulling back out.

“Fuck no, I just…wasn’t prepared. Okay, she didn't over exaggerate,” she laughs breathily.

“And that was just the tip,” Minnow teases her.

Luce drags Roxie closer and she bucks sharply, opening her legs wider and baring down to take him. Minnow moves from her spot on top of Roxie and sits  beside the younger woman, bringing her to an orgasm with her tongue as Luce eased his way inside.

Roxie’s words become a series of incoherent moans and whimpers once he is fully seated and beings to thrusts slowly. Luce lets out a growl of his own as his momentum increases.

In that moment Haley notices Luce hadn't put on a condom.

It shouldn’t bother him.

He knew Minnow was clean and Roxie likely was too because of her work. Still, Haley feels a bit of bitterness watching Luce so effortlessly and enthusiastically  fuck them.  He didn’t even know Luce’s hips could still move so fluidly.  He wanted Luce to have his fun but it was still his birthday and he had somehow been left out of this.

But he could be patient.

He watches Luce switch between the women, fucking them to multiple consecutive orgasms until they lay quivering and speechless on the bed, too sensitive to even be touched. Luce was breathless but still hard from the cock ring that prevented him from coming.

Haley crawls over, running a hand down scars on Luce’s spine and kissing his cheek. But he won’t even look at him. Instead he pulls Roxie back to him and pushes back into her. She lies back boneless, letting him use her young and taught body.

“My turn,” Haley says into Luce’s ear. “Fuck me now, baby.”

With one hand teasing Roxie’s oversized nipples, Luce looks him up and down, his eyes narrowing.

“Not now. I’m not putting on a condom.” Luce pushes him away gently as he turns his attention back to Roxie.

Haley didn’t know if he was pissed or humiliated but he wanted to go with pissed. Did Luce think he was making some kind of point by showing off what they couldn’t do together and then denying him in front of other people?

Haley gets up and walks out the room.

“Lex.Stay—” Luce barks.

“Fuck you,” Haley calls over his shoulder, slamming the door on his way out.

-3-

He bolts down the stairs, pausing at the bottom to see if anyone was coming after him. If Luce called him back again he would go. But all he hears is Roxie's strained cries. It pisses him off all over again.

He goes back to the basement where Maverick, the only person he knew (and felt like talking to) at this party,  is busy pouring hot wax on someone's balls for a small crowd and his cameraman.

With nothing better to do he joins the line for the open bar. He looked out of place in his plain outfit, people came to these parties to show off and be seen. The people in line  talk around him instead of to him. Not that he felt like talking to all the eager young party goers who had their whole lives ahead of them and enthusiastically debated the difference between Safe Sane Consensual and Risk Aware Consensual Kink. It was like they all came out of the womb knowing things he'd had to Google.

Despite the temptation of a good buzz, he orders a virgin tequila sunrise and takes it outside to the empty backyard. He settles on a bench that looked out at the quiet pool and gives himself five minutes to have a self pity cry.

He’s nearly finished his  drink when someone taps his shoulder. He turns to see Luce, fully dressed in his pressed black button up and black suit pants. The gold chain around his neck neatly laid.

Haley expects an apology from Luce for ignoring him for a girl he’d just met.

Instead he gets backhanded across the face.

“Get on your knees.”

“No, I’m--”

“I give orders. You shut up and obey. That’s our deal, right ?”

His steely tone said it wasn’t to be argued with and Haley was now in the confused place between being incredibly angry and incredibly turned on.

He gets on his knees and Luce runs his hand through the high ponytail he'd requested—Haley hadn’t worn his hair in that style in years but he know realized it made it easier for Luce to grip.

“Do you know why I wanted to dress you tonight ?,” Luce asks.

It wasn’t the question he’d expected. He looks down at the plain white shirt and jeans.

“Because when I get to my own devices I dress like a sissy--”

“No,” Luce cuts him off, his controlling gaze  betraying some sympathy. “It’s because I didn’t want you to forget I picked your clothes tonight. I didn't want you to forget that you’re mine.”

An exciting fluttering takes off in his chest. He desperately wished they’d just started the night right here.

Luce reaches into one of the pockets of the bag that hung off his wheelchair and takes out a black leather collar. Wearing a collar was one of the few thing they hadn’t gotten to. This one had small heart charm dangling in the center--it was engraved with a cursive L.

Despite himself, Haley was excited.

“Isn’t this what you want ? To be owned and controlled by your asshole Dom ?,” Luce says, his tone dripping with dominance.“If I put this collar on you, it’s a total power exchange. You’re not my boyfriend. You’re a submissive slut. I control when you talk, what you eat, when you fuck and if you come. I won’t fuck you without a condom. But I could--”

“Red. Luce we—"

“Before you open your mouth notice I said could. As in...I’m prepared.” Luce says, stroking his face with shaking hands. “ I’ve been taking PrEp  everyday for the last month with no reactions. I’m going to keep taking it. Whenever you’re ready to give that to me…I will be.”

Haley sighs and Luce puts the leather collar in his hands for him to decide. It felt like a break in their roleplay.

“You…made me feel excluded. Up there...just now.” Haley says. His complaint felt small now that he said it out loud.

“I know….Minnow yelled at me about it”

“She did ? Did you not understand why I walked out ?”

“I wasn't sure but I know now. I...just got carried away,” Luce sighs. “Women like Roxie don’t ever look at me sexually anymore.I...I don’t even know who I was proving a point to. But when you submit to me…you’ll be my priority. Always. I promise.”

Haley unbuckles the collar and slips it around his neck as tight as it can go.

“It looks good on you,” Luce smiles and touches his lap. 

Haley hesitantly kneels in his lap, careful to keep  most of his weight on his paralyzed side. Luce kisses him and then he feels something hook around the center of the  collar. He looks down to see Luce wrapping a chain leash around his forearm, tugging Haley violently closer.

“Do you like this ?”

He chokes over the sudden tightness. “Yes, sir--”

“Good boy.”

He kisses him again and when Haley pulls back to catch his breath, Luce lunges forward to re-capture his tongue in a slow punishing kiss, his teeth grazing the already sore mouth.

“Your internet search history is filthy,” Luce whispers against his lips and Haley finally understands why tonight was leaning so close to his fantasies.  “I read that fucking horny businessman book series--”

Haley goes breathless all over again.“You did ?”

“Yes. I listened to it.  And it sucked,” he says pulling the leash tighter. “It’s the first thing I’m going to punish you for.”

 

***

- 4 -

Haley had never been to the College of Southern Nevada but he finds the community college's main academic wing easily. He lurks in the hallway as the students walk out of their 8AM Calculus For Non-Majors class, most of them looking like they were in the fog of war.

“Dude, what the hell was he talking about with that new stuff ?,” a student puzzles.

“I thought I got it but then…I didn’t got it.”

“It’s too early for this shit. I’m going to cry. Coffee now.”

When the classroom clears out, Haley leans inside and knocks on the door. Luce turns and startles at seeing him.

“What’s going on?,” Luce frowns. “Is everything okay?”

Haley nods. “It’s my off day and there’s no PTA...I wanted to see if you wanted  a ride home.”

Luce’s gaze falls to the cheap charm bracelet around Haley’s wrist. It only held one charm—the one Haley had temporarily taken off the bondage collar. 

Luce gestures to Imogen, the curly haired nursing student the  ADA office hired to sit in the back of Luce's class and ride with him to and from campus. 

“Imogen, this is Alex,” Luce says to the nursing student. “Alex is going to take me home today. I'll make sure you still get paid for the full hour.” 

“Oh,” she says, looking at Haley like a light bulb just went off in her head. “Alex. Right. Duh. Wow, nice to meet you. You're a nurse, right ?”

Haley nods. “That's right. I'm a respite nurse. If you ever want to job shadow where I work we'd be happy to have you. We don't get a a lot of openings but--”

“Wow, thanks but I'm not ready to job shadow yet. I'm transferring to the University to get my bachelor's  but I'll keep it in mind.”

Haley smiles and she walks out. Once her footsteps fade Haley turns to Luce with a mischievous smile.

When they'd started dating Luce had  been in the closet with everyone except his family. He'd worked in  tech and spent all his free time at a bodybuilding gym where masculinity was narrowly defined. Haley was assumed Luce wasn't out at the college but he'd never asked. 

“Do you talk about me and what I do for a living in class, Mr. Grace ?”

“I explain I have a partner named Alex that needs to be called if I get taken to the hospital.”

Haley wanted to tell him that smartphones had emergency contact features built in  but he doesn’t feel like having that argument again.

They walk back across campus and he resists the urge to hold Luce’s hand or touch his chair. He’d had been living in what felt like a intense week long afterglow from his birthday weekend.They’d had some form of intimacy every night that week. He felt a deepy physical attraction for Luce he hadn’t felt in a long time.

When they get in the car Luce changes the pop station  to APR and Haley drives them the short ride home and tries not to fall asleep.

“I want to suck your dick,” Haley says, unlocking the door of the empty condo

Luce removes his suit jacket and unbuckles his belt.“I need to get out of these fucking clothes first. And I need coffee. I’m exhausted.”

“It has to be decaf.”

“Fine.”

Haley brews 4 ounces of decaf and helps Luce out of his button up and pants and into bed before eagerly performing oral sex, enjoying the humiliating things Luce whispers in his ears. Afterwards, he kneels on the bed beside Luce, kissing his cheek.

“I like having you like this,” Luce says, turning his head so their lips met briefly.

He shifts and wraps his body around Luce’s, resting his head on his chest.

“I really needed last weekend.” Haley says softly. “I hate to be a cliché but I have so much responsibility at work and with Grayson and his dumb school shit and your health…I liked losing myself for a while. I know it was a lot for you--”

“I liked planning something for you...you can say if I went too far.”

He shakes his head and silences him with a kiss.

“When I got hurt I just assumed you’d stopped seeing me as a Dominant....I just wish I wasn’t so crippled so I could do more of what you like--”

“Hey. I don’t need you to walk or hit me hard to dominate me. I'm patient. If you feel sick or dizzy or tired I’ll wait.” Haley moves his hair out of his face and sighs. “I wish we could afford to join a club.”

“Charlotte and I have been tal--,” Luce starts before choking on the coffee.

“Small sips,” Haley reminds him.

“We've been talking about relaunching Fallwater. There's no money in porn anymore but Charlotte thinks people in the more fringe fetish communities would want to work with us on their online presence. She says I have a flat affect and clients like that--”

“I can see that. They don't feel judged.”

“Charlotte said I should I go to this  fetish convention this summer...Maybe you can come be my nurse. If you can get time off.”

“Hmm, well I do need an excuse to buy a slutty nurse outfit,” Haley smiles. “And I'd be great at luring in new clients.Where is it ?”

“Palm Springs. I haven't been there in a decade but I remember the scene was intense.” Luce says, bringing him closer.

Haley stiffens. “Are you trying to tell me something ?”

Luce frowns. “I don't understand.”

 ----

Dear Hope, your last comment reminded me that I need to make a censored version of each chapter I can pretend you are reading 😅

For me, the most interesting part of the SHLILE paradox line is the little lines or gestures that are similar. I've had this chapter written for about 2 months and then the other day I saw Helios, like Minnow, brings tequila to gatherings. Although I guess Helios is in Mexico so it makes sense!

Nobody:

My Google Search History (yes, these are from a Bustle article. I am the queen of censored XXX searches):