-1-
41 Days Later
Rclark: I’m going to be in Connecticut tomorrow morning. Surprise! Can you hang out ?
Juliesheart: I work the morning shift. Can you come to the restaurant in the afternoon ?
Rclark: Send me the address. See you then.
+++
-Rhett-
Her neighborhood is exactly the same as I remember. I couldn’t believe Daniel Reese hadn’t upgraded apartments in three fucking years.
I parallel park the rental car on a narrowside street and walk towards the dated brick complex. I should call her and tell her I decided to come by early, but she wouldn’t want me in the same room as her Dad and I needed to do the honorable thing.
For once.
I knock on the apartment door and a familiar woman with auburn hair answers. Beside her a small blonde girl wearing a unicorn backpack peeks out. I knew this was Juliana’s stepfamily or half family or whatever. I’d seen the woman during the trial three years ago, but I don’t think I’d ever spoken to her.
“I’m Tessa,” she introduced herself and points to the girl. “This is Hallie. You're Rhett Clak, right ?,”
“Yes, ma’am.” I say taking her extended hand and shaking it.
I remember meeting Hallie once too, but she was probably too young to remember me.
“I don’t know if Juliana told ya’ll I was going to be in town but—um, is she here ?,” I ask.
Tessa smiles real wide at me.
“She didn’t mention it, but come in. I think she’s getting ready to go to work,” she says and ruffles the blonde girl’s head. “I have to get this rugrat to summer camp.”
Tessa opens the door for me and I step inside. I’d never actually been inside their apartment before and it’s smaller than I imagined. I can see into every room from where I’m standing. There is random crap everywhere like they shoved all the stuff from the UL commune inside and just left it.
Juliana is sitting on the folded out couch in the living room, lacing up her white Keds. Her blonde ponytail flicks around the top of her head as she snaps her head up and sees me. Her brown eyes register me with shock as she self-consciously stands up straightening her khakis.
“What are you doing here ?,” she asks, not moving
towards me, her hands balled up defensively.
Before I can answer the man of the hour walks in.
“You didn’t tell me you were having company,” Mr. Reese says sternly. “You know you need to be at work today, Juliana. I put in a good word for you to get this job so you shouldn’t slack off.”
“Actually, I came here to see you, Mr. Reese.” I say extending my hand. He ignores it and I just start babbling like a god damn fool. “Sir, I know we never had the best start. I realized I never apologized for how I acted back then. I was a kid and I’m learning to be better--”
“That was only a few years ago, Mr. Clark.” He reminds me.
“I know, sir. But I’d like to think I’ve matured. I just graduated the Academy with a degree in civil engineering in May, I’ve got this great job with the Coast Guard and I’ve put all the bad stuff behind me. I just want you to know that.”
“Well, good for you but my daughter has none of those things and I’m sure she doesn’t appreciate you coming here and throwing it all in her face,” he retorts.
“Oh, I didn’t mean--,”
“It’s fine, Dad.” Juliana says quietly. “I’m proud of him. We should go.”
I’m proud of him.
A funny warm feeling settles in my chest when she says that.
“Juliana, I don’t like this at all.” Mr. Reese says. “You’re finally on a good path, do not let him ruin it.”
She doesn’t say anything, but ushers me out the door before I can say anything else.
****
-Juliana-
“Fuck, that’s so fucking good,” Rhett says sucking syrup of his finger.
“It’s the only good thing here,” I tell him. He laughs.
It seemed to be a secret to the regulars that most of the food served at The Park Inn came frozen in bags. The only exception was the Hartford Maple Butter Sundae. It was made with local churned ice cream and a maple butter sauce made fresh by a friend of the owner.
Rhett had explored the block of the restaurant for 5
hours while I worked. When I got off I used my employee discount to buy our
lunch. We were sitting at the Park Inn bar
and I could feel my co-workers eyes on us. I’d kept to myself at work because I
didn’t want to talk about my past or where I’d come from. They probably thought I was still mute.
“Are you sleeping on the boat ?,” I asked him eating my own sundae. “I’d invite you to stay with us, but it’s kind of cramped--,”
“I’m actually staying with a friend from school,” he said. “I can’t believe your'e still sleeping on a couch.”
“Dad said we should look into a three bedroom, but he hasn’t done more than circle ads.”
“Your Dad’s kind of a jerk,” he said.
“Rhett,” I said, shocked.
“I’m sorry,” he apologized quickly. “I just mean it doesn’t seem right. Can’t you get your own place ?,”
“I don’t have any money right now and I don’t think I can live all alone.” I said, my voice unsteady. “How come you don’t you have your own place ?,”
“I have to be there for Mama,” he shrugs and then looks down. “I don’t know if I told you this, but her back got fucked up at her old job and she had issues with the pills and shit while I was at the Academy. She went to rehab for a few months. I mean, she’s fine, but she lost her job and disability and money is tight so I'm helping her while she gets her salon off the ground.”
My smile drops. Rhett's mom seemed so happy and responsible. This was all news to me.
“ I’m sorry, had no idea,” I say.
“Nobody likes to talk about it. It’s the past and it’s alright now.” he says. “Now let’s have fun.”
***
-2-
I had gotten strangely used to the sensation of Rhett’s hand in mine. He’s grabbed it momentarily when we were caught up in a group of high school kids running into the Connecticut Science Center and an hour later he hadn’t let it go.
The Science Center was having an exhibit on Aeronautics, dozens of planes were suspended from the ceiling like ominous piñatas and Rhett excitedly pulled me from display to display.
“That plane flew in Vietnam,” Rhett tells me pointing up to small plane. “…you can tell it’s a spy plane cause the nose is black. It deflects sunlight so they can’t be seen at night. And look, you can see the bullet holes… That’s so fucking cool.”
“It’s so small,” I say, imagining flying across the world in that little seat.
“Just needs to fit a pilot and a co-pilot.” he says as we get to the end of the Aeronautics Hall. “Alright, what do you want to see next ?,”
“I don’t know,” I shrug
“You picked this place,” he smiled.
“I know, but I’ve never been here before.” I admit. "I just thought you'd like it."
“How could you not come here ? You want to see the garden ?,” he asked me
I nod my head and he guided us through the large glass backdoor and to an expansive outdoor garden. I felt like I’d been transported from downtown Hartford to an English garden. Like something out of a fantasy. A stone path was cut through what looked like nearly half an acre of colorful blossoms. In the middle of it all was a tranquil water feature, giving the garden a certain peace.
We sit side by side on an inscribed granite bench
and I observe all the different flowers and the bright balmy blue midsummer sky.
Had a place this beautiful really been here the whole time? I had to go exploring more.
“So, do you have to work a lot while you’re in town ?,” I ask him.
“Will you marry me ?,” He responds.
All of my senses momentarily leave me. All I can do is stare into his earnest expression.
“Uh--What--,” is all I manage.
“ Listen I know it’s crazy, but I really like you Juliana and I imagine myself with you every day I'm away from you. I’ve done the dating thing and I know my options in Freeport and none of them make me feel the way you do. Our entire relationship has been us waiting to be in the same place together at the same time in the right way and...I don’t feel like waiting anymore. I want to make it happen.”
“I….I really like you too. But….I don’t think like is enough for marriage,” I tell him, trying to be sensible despite my heart wanting the opposite.
“Well…Maybe it is. Fuck it, I think it is.” he says. “And it’s practical. I get more benefits and a raise from the Coast Guard if I have a spouse and you’ll get the same benefits. I can really take care of you--help you get on your feet. Juliana Reese you're special to me and I want to spend the rest of my life falling in love with you.”
The last time I’d gotten married I’d done it because my parents had told me to. I’d been foolish.
And now I was supposed to do it because Rhett told me we should.
But, how could I say no to Rhett when I’d said yes to so many things for a lot less. Time had never been kind to us, but at least for the first time we’d choose to be together.
“Where would we live?,” I ask him.
“I mean… we’d have to stay in Louisiana because of my assignment at the Navy Base and so I can help Mama and Savannah. You could come down though. And once my obligation is over we can go wherever you want and start a life together."
I was so surprised by his insistence and belief that we are supposed to be together. He had faith that I didn’t.
But it was also a way out.
As I stare at him he drops to one knee and opens a small ring box. It’s a gold ring with a diamond set beside two pink stones.
“Oh my god,” I whisper. "Rhett..."
He'd been planning this.
“Say yes.” he begs.
I look around to see a few museum patrons whispering and pointing. A group of high school girls sigh and giggle.
I’ve literally got nothing to lose.
I nod my head and he stands up and pulls me close in a hug. He leans his head down like he is going to kiss me. My lips tingle and my heart beat races in anticipation. But instead of kissing me he pauses.
“I guess we should have atleast kissed once before I said yes,” I say.
He laughs at this.
“I guess we should have done a lot of things,” He says, resting his lips on my forehead. “But you should know I’m a fucking amazing kisser,”
“Really ?,”
“Mmhmm,” he says. “…I think we should wait.”
“What ?,”
“You’re special to me, Juliana. I want our first kiss and first time together to be when you’re my wife,” he says slowly. “I mean, I don’t see us having a long engagement. It ain’t like either of us has money for a big wedding or anything.”
“Are you sure you want to wait ?” I ask him.
“Why not ? Are you that curious ?,”He smiles.
“Rhett!,” I say, my face heating up. This was the first time we’d ever talked about anything that intimate. “No--I mean--it doesn't matter to me... I’ve been celibate for almost four years.”
“Holy shit,” he says.
He leans his head down until his mouth is on my ear. “Don’t worry. I’ll change that real soon.”
***
Dad,
It hurts me to put all my final words before I leave into a letter on the fridge but I don’t want to fight again. I know you think I’m moving too fast and you’re scared, but there is so little keeping me in Hartford and so much potentially waiting for me in Louisiana.
Since we left UL my life has been a mess and the only constant thing has been Rhett. He’s decent, kind and has a great family. I care for him and he does for me and I wish you could trust my judgement in being with him.
I’m
going to tell you something I can’t say to you in person; I’m angry with you.
Angry that you cheated on Mom with Tess, that you didn’t tell me Mom was sick
or find some way to get her to the
hospital. I’m angry you never visited me once in Florida. Not even on my birthday.
You seem happy and I’m happy you’re happy and I hope you can wish the same for me. I wish you, Tess and Hallie well.
This isn’t goodbye of course, this is just my farewell letter. I’ve left the Clark’s address and phone number below. Please call me and I hope you come to the wedding. Rhett says Mrs. Clark would really like to meet you.
Julianna
***
-3-
Rhett’s hand is around my waist as we shuffle down the aisle of the crowded bus. He easily hauls my carry on up and over his head into the storage compartment before gesturing for me to take the window seat.
Rhett is wearing jeans and a white shirt that says Coast Guard in blue block letters, he must own hundreds variations of the shirt because it’s all I’ve seen him wear.
All six days I’ve seen him since we separated three years ago that is.
“You good ?,” he asks as I scoot into the bus seat.
“I’m fine,” I tell him.
“Okay, I’m going to take a leak,” he says and walks toward the back of the bus.
I take in the surroundings of the bus and sigh. This was really happening. Three days after Rhett asked the question I had packed my few belongings in the two suitcases and was going home with him. He’d returned his plane ticket and brought two bus tickets for us.
I reach for the abandoned newspaper in the seat pocket to keep myself occupied as the other travelers find their seats. I flip the paper over to see it’s a Louisiana paper and I see a familiar face looking back at me from the bottom of the front page.
Zane Brooks.
The backs of my eyes get warm as I read the headline.
Former Southern League All Star Linebacker Killed in Afghanistan
I look up as I hear Rhett coming back down the aisle.
“Rhett,” I say breathlessly as he sits down. “Look.”
He just stares at the headline flatly.
“I know,” he says and looks away.
I read the entire article and Rhett opens his laptop. The article said Zane and three men in his unit were killed by an IED explosion in the road last week. The Brooks family was asking for donations to Wounded Warriors in lieu of flowers. I look for the location of the funeral and it is at the church that Rhett’s mother goes to sometimes.
The funeral was yesterday.
I turn the paper to the front and see it's from last week.
“Rhett,” I say slowly. “You’ve been in Hartford for work, right ?,”
“Don’t be mad,” he said as we were jerked back by the bus taking off. “I never technically said I was working.”
“You skipped Zane’s funeral to see me..” I say. “Why would you do that ? I thought he was your friend--,”
“I wasn’t goin’ anyway. I don’t need to see one of my boys buried like that—I couldn’t do it.”
“Didn’t you want to say goodbye ?,”
“I will. I’m just too pissed right now,”
“The article says it was unavoidable--,”
“Bullshit. He didn’t have to go back for another tour. I’m pissed the Marines let him go and pissed he wasn’t in the right place to survive the blast.” he said, his voice intense. “Brooks wouldn’t want me at his god damn funeral anyway. He’d want me remembering life is short and taking chances or some bullshit.”
“Is this why you asked me to marry you ? ” I start to put together. “Do you think something like this is going to happen to you ?,”
“Of course not,” he said. “I’m ain’t in combat or anything…. It just made me realize I don’t want to waste my time. And I’m sorry I didn’t tell you… I wasn’t ready to talk about it…I’m still not.”
For the first time I wonder if any of this is real
or if this engagement is just Rhett’s emotional overreaction. Had I just upended my entire life for nothing?
“Rhett, I’m really not sure if I can handle being lied to,” I tell him.
He crosses his arms closing himself off.
“If you want to leave I’ll buy you a ticket at the next station,” he says.
----
A/N
I have to say every time I read PLT and Lile's characters take flights around the world I felt bad about putting my main character on a 12 hour train ride followed by a 2 day bus ride.